Last night, I picked up A and knew she was hungry. So we get home around 6:00 PM, I dropped her in her father's arms and got started on her dinner. Eggs and bread was the fastest thing I could come up with and so that was the menu.
A usually likes watching me cook because she knows she's going to get something to eat and R was standing behind letting her watch. I fried some tomatoes and veggies and to let them steam I put a lit on the pan (lid being a steel plate). A second later I realized I forgot salt so I ended up touching the plate that was hot in an instant! So naturally, I jerked my hand and went "sssss".
In an instant, A pipes up and says "Haaww(t)"
Yes, baby, HOT! That's right...good job!
It's amazing how they learn. We've been teaching her "hot" by letting her quickly touch our mugs of coffee and its an easy way to deter her from wanting to try it. But that she was able to apply the concept to watching her mom scald her finger when trying to touch a hot plate, was truly priceless!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
10 Day you challenge - taking a leaf...
...from namesake's blog.
10 secrets, 9 loves, 8 fears, 7 wants, 6 places, 5 foods, 4 books, 3 films, 2 songs, 1 picture.
Easy enough to do and gives me things to write about and discover myself in the process.
It's going to take me longer than 10 days and some of this is very personal but so is this blog!
Day 1: Ten Secrets
1. I wish I would maintain a constant weight of 128 lbs. Yes, that exact number.
2. I don't like being hot and sweaty - hence why I cannot lose weight - because I don't like working out!
3. Sometimes I wish we hadn't bought this great big house (it's the days I am annoyed about all the junk we collect)
4. I secretly wish I was a beach/mountain bum (with a big bank balance of course, in case I want to go back to luxurious living)
5. I didn't work very hard at college, sometimes I wish I did!
6. I have always wanted to learn to play the guitar, there was a music teacher in school who we called Sir Joey (complete with long hair and a voice like Remo Fernandes) and I had a huge crush on him because he could play the guitar like magic!
7. I still like Bryan Adams after graduating to U2, The Who, Pink Floyd etc.
8. I was always known as Chitra's sister in school and they couldn't believe we were so different (I was always getting in trouble!)
9. I once had a crush on someone who used to drive around in a Blue Maruti Gypsy! No name, no idea who it was, but I guess I fell for the image :) (err before you judge I was just 13)
10. I don't remember the exact moment I thought I had fallen in love with R, although I still do remember the date he first brought it up!
10 secrets, 9 loves, 8 fears, 7 wants, 6 places, 5 foods, 4 books, 3 films, 2 songs, 1 picture.
Easy enough to do and gives me things to write about and discover myself in the process.
It's going to take me longer than 10 days and some of this is very personal but so is this blog!
Day 1: Ten Secrets
1. I wish I would maintain a constant weight of 128 lbs. Yes, that exact number.
2. I don't like being hot and sweaty - hence why I cannot lose weight - because I don't like working out!
3. Sometimes I wish we hadn't bought this great big house (it's the days I am annoyed about all the junk we collect)
4. I secretly wish I was a beach/mountain bum (with a big bank balance of course, in case I want to go back to luxurious living)
5. I didn't work very hard at college, sometimes I wish I did!
6. I have always wanted to learn to play the guitar, there was a music teacher in school who we called Sir Joey (complete with long hair and a voice like Remo Fernandes) and I had a huge crush on him because he could play the guitar like magic!
7. I still like Bryan Adams after graduating to U2, The Who, Pink Floyd etc.
8. I was always known as Chitra's sister in school and they couldn't believe we were so different (I was always getting in trouble!)
9. I once had a crush on someone who used to drive around in a Blue Maruti Gypsy! No name, no idea who it was, but I guess I fell for the image :) (err before you judge I was just 13)
10. I don't remember the exact moment I thought I had fallen in love with R, although I still do remember the date he first brought it up!
Tuesday, June 07, 2011
6 months too late
I was going to write this eons ago, actually when the new year began. After all it seemed fitting to write about the last decade, at the beginning of the 2nd decade of the millennium??
Oh well, it didn't happen but here goes:
The Last Decade 2000-2010: A retrospective
I have been working on this for almost a decade it seems like. It’s really hard to just sit down at one go and think about an entire decade of your life. Perhaps the most crucial/formative decade of my life, as I entered adulthood at the helm of the new millennium.
The last decade for me personally has been full of transition, travel, learning and growing. I have donned several hats, moved to and from several cities and generally had a ball. The decade was not without it’s challenges, but I only choose to remember that if they didn’t kill me, they made me stronger!
I went from being a student to an immigrant student. I traveled from India to the United States at the not-so-ripe age of 20 (not my first time to the US but definitely the first time alone). I went from being a young carefree girl to a young girl in a long distance relationship (her first and only at that!). I also went from being a dependant daughter to a self-sufficient working woman paying her own bills. I made new friends and I can say they are for life. I drifted apart from friends I thought I’d be graying my hair with. I went from a girlfriend to a wife and a wife to mom. I spell family now, there’s no denying it. And the biggest change of the last decade was that we went from being DINKs to DIOKs ;-)
Becoming a mother in 2010 certainly marks the highlight and the best close to the decade.
Oh well, it didn't happen but here goes:
The Last Decade 2000-2010: A retrospective
I have been working on this for almost a decade it seems like. It’s really hard to just sit down at one go and think about an entire decade of your life. Perhaps the most crucial/formative decade of my life, as I entered adulthood at the helm of the new millennium.
The last decade for me personally has been full of transition, travel, learning and growing. I have donned several hats, moved to and from several cities and generally had a ball. The decade was not without it’s challenges, but I only choose to remember that if they didn’t kill me, they made me stronger!
I went from being a student to an immigrant student. I traveled from India to the United States at the not-so-ripe age of 20 (not my first time to the US but definitely the first time alone). I went from being a young carefree girl to a young girl in a long distance relationship (her first and only at that!). I also went from being a dependant daughter to a self-sufficient working woman paying her own bills. I made new friends and I can say they are for life. I drifted apart from friends I thought I’d be graying my hair with. I went from a girlfriend to a wife and a wife to mom. I spell family now, there’s no denying it. And the biggest change of the last decade was that we went from being DINKs to DIOKs ;-)
Becoming a mother in 2010 certainly marks the highlight and the best close to the decade.
Here are some observations mostly about my self:
- I feel as though becoming a parent has taught me a thing or two about my own parents and I feel closer now to them than ever before. It’s as though I feel a new connection with them and I understand.
- I have realized that I cannot make everyone happy all the time. And I have come to peace with that. It used to irritate me no end when people didn’t listen to me, or didn’t understand what I wanted, or didn’t see what I saw the way I saw it. Some part of me just gave up but I honestly feel more at peace with things that don’t go my way. I do what I can and leave it at that.
- I have stopped giving unsolicited advice. Partly because I don't want to be on the receiving end.
- I am more confident and relaxed in my relationship with the husband. It’s been 4 years of course and sometimes it feels like 14, but I no longer am trying to please/or woo. Yes, I strive to ensure I don’t make him inadvertently unhappy (although isn’t that what a stereotypical wife is meant to do – generally make her husband miserable?) but I am not constantly trying to be perfect. We have our differences, we let them be, we don’t fight so much anymore (although we still do get annoyed) but we realize it’s the differences and some of the similarities that make us work. We’ve learnt to let go and not be angry at the same time. We make it work, somehow!
- I am OK with clutter – well, not really but I no longer unduly stress over it. With a baby in the house it’s hard enough keeping our lives on track and on most days we operate on auto pilot so some things do languish. And this is one reason why I like visitors more than ever, they force us to declutter!
- I feel as though I married a gem when I see a doting father working really hard and doing so much “seva” for his little princess. It does not go unnoticed and I have told him several times that he makes a very good father. You have to see how A literally lights up like a million watts when she sees him. Sometimes she will want to go to him when I am holding her and R will say “sorry”. I don’t feel bad about it – I love to watch them bond. She is SO going to be Daddy’s Pet!!
- I am more at ease with my in-laws. And this may have to do with time and with the fact that I take them for what they are and they seem to accept me for what I am. It’s a two way street and I feel very lucky for their giving and tolerant ways. It also means that I no longer try to change their ways and just go with the flow without trying to stir the pot too much. I participate as best as I can with the religious and traditional things (more than I ever imagined myself doing) and I do it with a clean heart. Like in the words of my mother “If you do something you do it with grace, or don’t do it at all”. Yes, I still get worked up about little things but I try to remind myself that they are little. They spent a considerable amount of time with us in 2010 to help with Ahana and they doted on her to no end. I am eternally grateful for their support.
- I also learnt new words in Tamil. I won’t bother bragging about them here
- When I look back at my married life I feel as though things have reached a steady state. I feel as though we know most of what there is to know about each other and we are closer now than ever before. I don’t know if the baby is to be credited because they say a baby strengthens a marriage.
- I feel as though becoming a parent has taught me a thing or two about my own parents and I feel closer now to them than ever before. It’s as though I feel a new connection with them and I understand.
- I have realized that I cannot make everyone happy all the time. And I have come to peace with that. It used to irritate me no end when people didn’t listen to me, or didn’t understand what I wanted, or didn’t see what I saw the way I saw it. Some part of me just gave up but I honestly feel more at peace with things that don’t go my way. I do what I can and leave it at that.
- I have stopped giving unsolicited advice. Partly because I don't want to be on the receiving end.
- I am more confident and relaxed in my relationship with the husband. It’s been 4 years of course and sometimes it feels like 14, but I no longer am trying to please/or woo. Yes, I strive to ensure I don’t make him inadvertently unhappy (although isn’t that what a stereotypical wife is meant to do – generally make her husband miserable?) but I am not constantly trying to be perfect. We have our differences, we let them be, we don’t fight so much anymore (although we still do get annoyed) but we realize it’s the differences and some of the similarities that make us work. We’ve learnt to let go and not be angry at the same time. We make it work, somehow!
- I am OK with clutter – well, not really but I no longer unduly stress over it. With a baby in the house it’s hard enough keeping our lives on track and on most days we operate on auto pilot so some things do languish. And this is one reason why I like visitors more than ever, they force us to declutter!
- I feel as though I married a gem when I see a doting father working really hard and doing so much “seva” for his little princess. It does not go unnoticed and I have told him several times that he makes a very good father. You have to see how A literally lights up like a million watts when she sees him. Sometimes she will want to go to him when I am holding her and R will say “sorry”. I don’t feel bad about it – I love to watch them bond. She is SO going to be Daddy’s Pet!!
- I am more at ease with my in-laws. And this may have to do with time and with the fact that I take them for what they are and they seem to accept me for what I am. It’s a two way street and I feel very lucky for their giving and tolerant ways. It also means that I no longer try to change their ways and just go with the flow without trying to stir the pot too much. I participate as best as I can with the religious and traditional things (more than I ever imagined myself doing) and I do it with a clean heart. Like in the words of my mother “If you do something you do it with grace, or don’t do it at all”. Yes, I still get worked up about little things but I try to remind myself that they are little. They spent a considerable amount of time with us in 2010 to help with Ahana and they doted on her to no end. I am eternally grateful for their support.
- I also learnt new words in Tamil. I won’t bother bragging about them here
- When I look back at my married life I feel as though things have reached a steady state. I feel as though we know most of what there is to know about each other and we are closer now than ever before. I don’t know if the baby is to be credited because they say a baby strengthens a marriage.
– I still refuse to do things just because they have always been done a certain way. Taking a leaf from TMM’s page, the day before our wedding was the day I least loved my husband. Why? Because he refused to step up and do something that was not written in the “book”. He didn’t ensure something would get done the way I wanted it although he had promised it would.
- I have mellowed. I no longer howl each time I am asked to conform. I merely do the needful and try to keep everyone happy. It doesn’t make me a smaller person. And I hope the husband realizes I do it out of my love for him and to keep the peace in the family. Part of it is also thanks to my mother who tells me to take things in the right spirit and not create problems when there are none. So I am learning, slowly albeit.
- I feel like I am not competing anymore. Early in a marriage you’re working to build trust, you’re building a new relationship and it’s easy to feel threatened or vulnerable. I think with Ahana’s arrival, we know we’re in this together and we wouldn’t want it any other way. And so where’s the need to compete? When we fought early on, I always felt like we were trying to get back at each other or we were competing. Now that we're truly a family, together we stand, divided we fall. For better or worse, till death do us part.
- I stay away from politics. At work, within the family and among friends. I stay close to my trusted circle and keep my head down.
- I have mellowed. I no longer howl each time I am asked to conform. I merely do the needful and try to keep everyone happy. It doesn’t make me a smaller person. And I hope the husband realizes I do it out of my love for him and to keep the peace in the family. Part of it is also thanks to my mother who tells me to take things in the right spirit and not create problems when there are none. So I am learning, slowly albeit.
- I feel like I am not competing anymore. Early in a marriage you’re working to build trust, you’re building a new relationship and it’s easy to feel threatened or vulnerable. I think with Ahana’s arrival, we know we’re in this together and we wouldn’t want it any other way. And so where’s the need to compete? When we fought early on, I always felt like we were trying to get back at each other or we were competing. Now that we're truly a family, together we stand, divided we fall. For better or worse, till death do us part.
- I stay away from politics. At work, within the family and among friends. I stay close to my trusted circle and keep my head down.
- I have been exposed to and embraced more technology than I ever imagined in my wildest dreams
- I have lost my taste for alcohol, I guess two years as a teetotaler will do it to anyone...though I have developed a taste for beer. Never thought that would ever happen...
- I find I have lost the ambition I once had when I was younger. And I don’t feel any regrets. At the moment my focus is my daughter and my budding family. Everything else can be on hold. My MIL had once said you don’t need a LOT of money to be happy. And I don’t have a LOT of money but I am also not going to chase after it. Yes, I like having a job and bringing something to the table. But not one day goes by when I feel like I should give it up in order to improve my family life and spend more time with my daughter without having to constantly run after chores/deadlines.
- For all the peace I have made with myself in several aspects, I still take things very personally. I don’t take criticism about the way I or my family operates kindly. I am not the kind to have a quick retort or a smart alec answer. Typically I get so taken aback that people have judged me that it takes me a few hours to analyze the situation and make sense of it all. And this largely stems from the fact that I don’t judge others or the way they choose to lead their lives. So when someone comes to tell me how they think I should lead mine, I take it very, very personally. In the coming years I do hope to be able to filter some of this out and ignore those that tend to really hurt. People need to realize, there’s no 1 formula or 1 better way to lead one’s life. Gah, see, I’m mad again!
- I am a food snob. There, I said it, I admit it. I don’t claim to be the best cook (no matter how much S&S coax me to apply to The Next Food Network Star, you guys are so sweet!), but I am a critic. I get stuck in the details and it’s very easy for me to not enjoy a meal. I take pride in cooking for my family, even if it is 7 days a week. I prefer eating simple home cooked leftovers to eating out on a regular basis. I think it speaks to upbringing. I have many friends who were fed jam and bread for dinner and they didn’t complain. I was spoilt by mom cooking fresh meals every morning and evening. To this day, even when she’s visiting and is on vacation – she makes hot breakfast, lunch and dinner. Her favorite question is “what do we make next…”.
- For all the peace I have made with myself in several aspects, I still take things very personally. I don’t take criticism about the way I or my family operates kindly. I am not the kind to have a quick retort or a smart alec answer. Typically I get so taken aback that people have judged me that it takes me a few hours to analyze the situation and make sense of it all. And this largely stems from the fact that I don’t judge others or the way they choose to lead their lives. So when someone comes to tell me how they think I should lead mine, I take it very, very personally. In the coming years I do hope to be able to filter some of this out and ignore those that tend to really hurt. People need to realize, there’s no 1 formula or 1 better way to lead one’s life. Gah, see, I’m mad again!
- I am a food snob. There, I said it, I admit it. I don’t claim to be the best cook (no matter how much S&S coax me to apply to The Next Food Network Star, you guys are so sweet!), but I am a critic. I get stuck in the details and it’s very easy for me to not enjoy a meal. I take pride in cooking for my family, even if it is 7 days a week. I prefer eating simple home cooked leftovers to eating out on a regular basis. I think it speaks to upbringing. I have many friends who were fed jam and bread for dinner and they didn’t complain. I was spoilt by mom cooking fresh meals every morning and evening. To this day, even when she’s visiting and is on vacation – she makes hot breakfast, lunch and dinner. Her favorite question is “what do we make next…”.
- My pantry may not be organized, but it’s full or overfull and that makes me happy. “bhandara bharpoori” loosely translated to full warehouse makes me feel like we have plenty and we have variety. I am a Sindhi but in my pantry you will find things that represent several parts of the country. An anecdote: My MIL was making matkichi usal and said “tumhare paas Goda masala nahi hai na?” (You don’t have Goda masala*, do you?). I said, don’t worry, I have everything and handed her the Goda Masala.
- I adapt easily. I can talk about food endlessly. And Saris...
- I have learned a lot from my mother. From cooking, to managing work-life, to parenting, to buying jewelry. I felt confident buying jewelry during our last India trip without help and all because she had brought me along to the jewelers and let me watch how she double checked and recalculated the final work up. I admire her, even if she may not believe it and I may not often let on. In the kitchen I see myself using some of her principles. And they are really simple things. She has a scientific way about her in the kitchen as far as energy consumption and cooking time is concerned and I have HUGELY benefited from her teaching.
- I admire R for all the work he does. He helps me unconditionally with everything and he does more than I ask him to and he keeps track of bills, home related stuff and both the cars. Yes, I told you he’s a keeper! I love you R !! (And I would even if you didn’t do all that you did )
-Most importantly, I learned that your parents are the only ones in the whole wide world who will stand by you through thick and thin, who'll put blankets on you while you shiver due to an epidural, who will put their life on hold to bring your life on track and who'll not mind cleaning up after you! So be good to your parents and do good by them...
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
First Annual Report!!
On Thursday night as I finished frosting Ahana's cake, I kept thinking back to the day 1 year ago and what stage of "labor" I was in. I remembered the anticipation, but not the pain, the excitement but not the fear.
As we lay down in bed, tired after a long day R said Happy Birthday to us (we had been parents for a year after all) and asked me if I remembered what we were doing exactly a year ago at that moment. It's funny how our thoughts were so similar in the apparent dead of the night. I remembered that around 1:30 is when I was strapped to a monitor and asked not to move - Ahana's heart rate was dipping very low with some of the larger contractions and they needed to keep a close watch. Sitting there amid all that pain, I decided I had labored long enough and an epidural was now essential. My one big question was, what if the epi slows labor down? I think the nurse who had until this point been really mean to me knew where this was going and said "we'll just push more pitocin if we see it slowing down" RELIEF!! The epidural happened at 2:30 AM in the most unceremonious ways with harsh white lights and the Anesthesiologist barking orders at me while another contraction raged through. Once it took effect however, it was all smooth and pain free, no hotspots, no patchiness. At 3:30 AM mom woke up and found me violently tremoring (a common side effect of the drugs) and had the look of pure terror on her face. I felt fine though and the nurse asked me to try and relax and not think about it. I finally slept at 4:00 AM and the nurse came to shift me around 5:00 AM when I asked her to examine the progress...
All along I had been mortally afraid of being put under the knife, of being told I would not deliver naturally because labor had stalled, of being rushed to the OT to be delivered via C-Section. When the nurse checked and said we would begin pushing at 6:00 AM it was the best news ever!
Ahana's birth made it seem like there was no need to fear, that there was this tough child who knew how to make her way out, who handled the stress of labor and came through with flying colors and that I was a tough momma!
Anyway, we fell asleep at some point knowing that there was no more anticipation but the certitude of a little baby snuggled between us. The only anticipation was whether Ahana would have a good birthday or not and soon enough that was quashed too!
May 20, dawned and I was up at 6:00 AM feeling fresh as a daisy. It was like the nervous excitement you feel when you're going on a fun trip...you sleep grudgingly because you can't wait to wake up and go!!
I went downstairs and found Mom watching TV and sipping on chai. I made myself some chai and sat down to talk to Nani about how we all were in that room watching A being born. The rest of the day was spent getting ready for Ahana's Thatha, Thathi, Aunt and cousin to arrive! We brought A to the airport and she greeted everyone with her shy smiles and instantly played with thathi on the ride back home. From then on, A just simply took in all the attention everyone showered on her. Cousin A couldn't stop saying "my ahnu, my cute sister, I hug ahnu, ahnu is funneee...etc." and kept following her around. He hugged her so many times and it was the most endearing sight! A would blink really fast like a doll everytime Cousin A got really close but she didn't seem to mind all the monkeying around at all!
As parents, all we wanted for A on her first birthday was to be in comfortable surroundings, amidst people she loves and who love her back and simply enjoy the day. I have seen far too many 1 year olds bawling on their birthdays because they can't handle the crowd and chaos that their parents think is warranted to celebrate such a big milestone. But I wanted to keep this low key and focus on A and making sure she had a good time, rather than gloat over what a big achievement it was for us parents! Also, A shares her bday with her uncle who was flying in just short of midnight due to work commitments and it seemed sort of incomplete to celebrate without him. But to mark the occassion we took a couple of close friends and the family out to dinner. We cut the cake I baked for Ahana and fortunately, she didn't have a melt down although it was way past her bedtime. ON the way back home, she wanted to play with my mom in the backseat rather than take her bottle and snooze! Overall, she did great and we couldn't be more pleased with the way the day turned out for her.
The next day was also packed with activity. Since we had the whole family congregating together we decided to have her "Ayushyahomam" ceremony on the weekend rather than wait for her star birthday. That went off without a hitch, Ahana watched the ceremony with wide-eyed curiosity and was so exhausted right after lunch that she took a long nap again! In the evening she tried on her very first pattu-pavadai (skirt and blouse made from pure silk) and was thrilled to wear gold bangles in her arms just like her thathi and nani! She even showed them off as though she knew she had the same thing they did. It amazes me that she's so girly-girl...R thinks she gets it from me. But God knows I was not the girly girl I am today. I was the quintessential tomboy with dirty hands, no love for girly clothes and frills and the only girl in the neighborhood to own a good quality cricket bat!
So all told, A had a great birthday weekend flanked by loving family members. She didn't have a meltdown, she enjoyed her cake and wore it too!
Developmentally, she's pulling up a lot and walks with support. She's scared to let go and walk by herself but she does manage to stand alone for several seconds at a time. She has mastered stair climbing and is now trying to climb the couch, is imitating gestures we make and is very aware of all the extra attention she gets from Nana-Nani. It's leverage for her which means more tantrums and crocodile tears. But the fun has officially begun and we can't wait to see what more this little girl is going to surprise us with!!
As we lay down in bed, tired after a long day R said Happy Birthday to us (we had been parents for a year after all) and asked me if I remembered what we were doing exactly a year ago at that moment. It's funny how our thoughts were so similar in the apparent dead of the night. I remembered that around 1:30 is when I was strapped to a monitor and asked not to move - Ahana's heart rate was dipping very low with some of the larger contractions and they needed to keep a close watch. Sitting there amid all that pain, I decided I had labored long enough and an epidural was now essential. My one big question was, what if the epi slows labor down? I think the nurse who had until this point been really mean to me knew where this was going and said "we'll just push more pitocin if we see it slowing down" RELIEF!! The epidural happened at 2:30 AM in the most unceremonious ways with harsh white lights and the Anesthesiologist barking orders at me while another contraction raged through. Once it took effect however, it was all smooth and pain free, no hotspots, no patchiness. At 3:30 AM mom woke up and found me violently tremoring (a common side effect of the drugs) and had the look of pure terror on her face. I felt fine though and the nurse asked me to try and relax and not think about it. I finally slept at 4:00 AM and the nurse came to shift me around 5:00 AM when I asked her to examine the progress...
All along I had been mortally afraid of being put under the knife, of being told I would not deliver naturally because labor had stalled, of being rushed to the OT to be delivered via C-Section. When the nurse checked and said we would begin pushing at 6:00 AM it was the best news ever!
Ahana's birth made it seem like there was no need to fear, that there was this tough child who knew how to make her way out, who handled the stress of labor and came through with flying colors and that I was a tough momma!
Anyway, we fell asleep at some point knowing that there was no more anticipation but the certitude of a little baby snuggled between us. The only anticipation was whether Ahana would have a good birthday or not and soon enough that was quashed too!
May 20, dawned and I was up at 6:00 AM feeling fresh as a daisy. It was like the nervous excitement you feel when you're going on a fun trip...you sleep grudgingly because you can't wait to wake up and go!!
I went downstairs and found Mom watching TV and sipping on chai. I made myself some chai and sat down to talk to Nani about how we all were in that room watching A being born. The rest of the day was spent getting ready for Ahana's Thatha, Thathi, Aunt and cousin to arrive! We brought A to the airport and she greeted everyone with her shy smiles and instantly played with thathi on the ride back home. From then on, A just simply took in all the attention everyone showered on her. Cousin A couldn't stop saying "my ahnu, my cute sister, I hug ahnu, ahnu is funneee...etc." and kept following her around. He hugged her so many times and it was the most endearing sight! A would blink really fast like a doll everytime Cousin A got really close but she didn't seem to mind all the monkeying around at all!
As parents, all we wanted for A on her first birthday was to be in comfortable surroundings, amidst people she loves and who love her back and simply enjoy the day. I have seen far too many 1 year olds bawling on their birthdays because they can't handle the crowd and chaos that their parents think is warranted to celebrate such a big milestone. But I wanted to keep this low key and focus on A and making sure she had a good time, rather than gloat over what a big achievement it was for us parents! Also, A shares her bday with her uncle who was flying in just short of midnight due to work commitments and it seemed sort of incomplete to celebrate without him. But to mark the occassion we took a couple of close friends and the family out to dinner. We cut the cake I baked for Ahana and fortunately, she didn't have a melt down although it was way past her bedtime. ON the way back home, she wanted to play with my mom in the backseat rather than take her bottle and snooze! Overall, she did great and we couldn't be more pleased with the way the day turned out for her.
The next day was also packed with activity. Since we had the whole family congregating together we decided to have her "Ayushyahomam" ceremony on the weekend rather than wait for her star birthday. That went off without a hitch, Ahana watched the ceremony with wide-eyed curiosity and was so exhausted right after lunch that she took a long nap again! In the evening she tried on her very first pattu-pavadai (skirt and blouse made from pure silk) and was thrilled to wear gold bangles in her arms just like her thathi and nani! She even showed them off as though she knew she had the same thing they did. It amazes me that she's so girly-girl...R thinks she gets it from me. But God knows I was not the girly girl I am today. I was the quintessential tomboy with dirty hands, no love for girly clothes and frills and the only girl in the neighborhood to own a good quality cricket bat!
So all told, A had a great birthday weekend flanked by loving family members. She didn't have a meltdown, she enjoyed her cake and wore it too!
Developmentally, she's pulling up a lot and walks with support. She's scared to let go and walk by herself but she does manage to stand alone for several seconds at a time. She has mastered stair climbing and is now trying to climb the couch, is imitating gestures we make and is very aware of all the extra attention she gets from Nana-Nani. It's leverage for her which means more tantrums and crocodile tears. But the fun has officially begun and we can't wait to see what more this little girl is going to surprise us with!!
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
Tardy Mamma: Third Quarterly Update
So usually, I atleast start a draft so the date is on there…but I guess busy moms are allowed to slack off once in a while.
As usual, Ahana seems to take big leaps in development all at once! At the 9 month 1 week point, she started scooting around (this one is not going to crawl for reasons best known to herself!). Within a week, she was all over the place, trying to get herself into all kinds of trouble. Just shy of her 9 month birthday I tried feeding her a saltine cracker at her friend’s birthday party. As if she had known all along what to do, she held the cracker in her hand, brought it to her mouth and bit off (I should say gummed off) a little piece. She mashed it between her toothless gums and swallowed it. Just like that…
She also magically started using sign language quite a bit more. She’s constantly bringing her hand to her mouth meaning “Eat”, showing us the sign for Milk in the mornings and waving her hand for “all done” when she’s finished eating!
I may have said this before, but it never ceases to amaze me how much she already seems to understand and know. She has a sense of humor and an uncanny comic timing! The other day I was testing her by giving her a bottle with the cap on (to see if she wanted milk) and she sort of giggled and moved my hand and the bottle away. Then I uncapped it and brought it to her, this time she opened her mouth. It was almost as if she laughed because she thought her mother was being silly by testing her like that. Of course, one cannot drink milk from a bottle while the cap is still on!
Words cannot describe the pride I feel when my little baby responds to so many things we say/do. She’s a thinker and she plans her moves so she’s never aimlessly scooting around the room. It’s always, what do I want next, where do I want to go next.
The one big disadvantage of her being mobile now is that I cannot let my guard down when I leave her alone or take my eyes off her. She’s constantly trying to exercise her pincer grasp (being able to hold small objects between the thumb and fore finger) and pick up the minutia she finds on the carpet/floor. I guess her head being so close to the floor (say about a foot off the floor) and perfect vision makes it easy for her to spot the little bits lying on the floor. Last night she put something that looked like the stump of a fruit into her mouth (I swear I had not seen it lying there or it would have been lifted) and I caught her right when her hand was coming out of her mouth. I rushed in, and she knew what my next move was going to be. So she smiles, looks away and spits out the stump! She’s not always so kind, sometimes she knows I am going to get my finger in her mouth and she’ll purse her lips together and look away!!
Needless to say, my evenings and days with Ahana are exceedingly exciting! Poor Dad is busy and comes home later than usual and on most days during the work week and he gets home only after she has gone to bed. Mornings are Dad intensive though…you have to see the glee in her face when she wakes up to see Dad lying next to mom.
When I bathe her in the evenings and R is not home I ask her, “A, where is Dad? Can you find him” And she pokes her head up, her eyes wide with wonder and she looks towards the Bathroom door to see if he’s visible from any angle! She may not say the words, Mamma and Dada yet…but she knows what they mean and it fills us with this warm, fuzzy feeling.
I also can’t cease to say enough about how easy going this little baby of mine is. I couldn’t have asked for better. So when I complain about how I don’t have time for chores, errands, dressing up, working out etc. remind me – will you? That this is a passing phase and soon enough she’ll be grown up and out of my arms, not wanting to cuddle or give wet sloppy kisses anymore. Dressing up and working out can wait. The husband will disagree and I will agree to do just the same – disagree!! ;-)
As usual, Ahana seems to take big leaps in development all at once! At the 9 month 1 week point, she started scooting around (this one is not going to crawl for reasons best known to herself!). Within a week, she was all over the place, trying to get herself into all kinds of trouble. Just shy of her 9 month birthday I tried feeding her a saltine cracker at her friend’s birthday party. As if she had known all along what to do, she held the cracker in her hand, brought it to her mouth and bit off (I should say gummed off) a little piece. She mashed it between her toothless gums and swallowed it. Just like that…
She also magically started using sign language quite a bit more. She’s constantly bringing her hand to her mouth meaning “Eat”, showing us the sign for Milk in the mornings and waving her hand for “all done” when she’s finished eating!
I may have said this before, but it never ceases to amaze me how much she already seems to understand and know. She has a sense of humor and an uncanny comic timing! The other day I was testing her by giving her a bottle with the cap on (to see if she wanted milk) and she sort of giggled and moved my hand and the bottle away. Then I uncapped it and brought it to her, this time she opened her mouth. It was almost as if she laughed because she thought her mother was being silly by testing her like that. Of course, one cannot drink milk from a bottle while the cap is still on!
Words cannot describe the pride I feel when my little baby responds to so many things we say/do. She’s a thinker and she plans her moves so she’s never aimlessly scooting around the room. It’s always, what do I want next, where do I want to go next.
The one big disadvantage of her being mobile now is that I cannot let my guard down when I leave her alone or take my eyes off her. She’s constantly trying to exercise her pincer grasp (being able to hold small objects between the thumb and fore finger) and pick up the minutia she finds on the carpet/floor. I guess her head being so close to the floor (say about a foot off the floor) and perfect vision makes it easy for her to spot the little bits lying on the floor. Last night she put something that looked like the stump of a fruit into her mouth (I swear I had not seen it lying there or it would have been lifted) and I caught her right when her hand was coming out of her mouth. I rushed in, and she knew what my next move was going to be. So she smiles, looks away and spits out the stump! She’s not always so kind, sometimes she knows I am going to get my finger in her mouth and she’ll purse her lips together and look away!!
Needless to say, my evenings and days with Ahana are exceedingly exciting! Poor Dad is busy and comes home later than usual and on most days during the work week and he gets home only after she has gone to bed. Mornings are Dad intensive though…you have to see the glee in her face when she wakes up to see Dad lying next to mom.
When I bathe her in the evenings and R is not home I ask her, “A, where is Dad? Can you find him” And she pokes her head up, her eyes wide with wonder and she looks towards the Bathroom door to see if he’s visible from any angle! She may not say the words, Mamma and Dada yet…but she knows what they mean and it fills us with this warm, fuzzy feeling.
I also can’t cease to say enough about how easy going this little baby of mine is. I couldn’t have asked for better. So when I complain about how I don’t have time for chores, errands, dressing up, working out etc. remind me – will you? That this is a passing phase and soon enough she’ll be grown up and out of my arms, not wanting to cuddle or give wet sloppy kisses anymore. Dressing up and working out can wait. The husband will disagree and I will agree to do just the same – disagree!! ;-)
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Second Quarterly Update - A whole new world
Ahana turns 6 months old today!
Unfortunately she meets this milestone on the day after my grandfather’s death. We had originally planned to celebrate with close friends, but I have decided to bring the day in quietly just between the three of us. There will be no cake, but she couldn’t have eaten it anyway. I had always harbored a desire for my grandparents to be able to hold Ahana in their arms, now the hope is that atleast one of them will. I miss Nanaji terribly, but I always feel as though he’s somewhere around here watching over us.
A whole new world has opened up for Ahana now that she is able to almost sit up without support. She occasionally wobbles and will fall sideways but she’s nailed it pretty good. We have been parents for 6 months now and sometimes I am in denial that this beautiful child is growing so quickly. Each week it’s something new, each week is a new discovery.
The teachers at daycare tell me A is very observant. She watches carefully and she has already started imitating!
She is also better at communicating her needs, when she feels pleasure and when she wants to express dissent.
Ah is a brave and tenacious girl and has the qunitessential Taurean spirit (read stubborn as the bull!) She understands a lot more than we give her credit for. For example: When we say 1,2,3 she knows we're making her clap. She hasn't quite gotten the hang of clapping yet, but she moves her hands in rhythm with our counting. She also knows what "get up, get up, get up" means - she will hold her hands up, grab our finger and raise her torso and come up. She knows the fan, she looks around curiously at everything and she’ll scrunch her eyebrows together to figure something out.
When I look at old pictures, I find it hard to believe it’s the same tiny little baby I held in my arms on that drizzly May morning!
At 6 months, I find the words of my father ringing in my ears. “Parenting is the most fulfilling thing you will do in life”. I think it’s true. There’s no gratification in the world as watching your child learn, acquire and apply new skills. Something as simple as figuring out how to clap is a moment of pride and joy. And every parent feels this, although thousands of children go through the same milestones, it’s only when your own child does it that you know how it fills your hear with joy!
Here’s wishing Ahana a very happy 6 months and several more to come! We love you with all our hearts and beings. Mamma & Dad.
Unfortunately she meets this milestone on the day after my grandfather’s death. We had originally planned to celebrate with close friends, but I have decided to bring the day in quietly just between the three of us. There will be no cake, but she couldn’t have eaten it anyway. I had always harbored a desire for my grandparents to be able to hold Ahana in their arms, now the hope is that atleast one of them will. I miss Nanaji terribly, but I always feel as though he’s somewhere around here watching over us.
A whole new world has opened up for Ahana now that she is able to almost sit up without support. She occasionally wobbles and will fall sideways but she’s nailed it pretty good. We have been parents for 6 months now and sometimes I am in denial that this beautiful child is growing so quickly. Each week it’s something new, each week is a new discovery.
The teachers at daycare tell me A is very observant. She watches carefully and she has already started imitating!
She is also better at communicating her needs, when she feels pleasure and when she wants to express dissent.
Ah is a brave and tenacious girl and has the qunitessential Taurean spirit (read stubborn as the bull!) She understands a lot more than we give her credit for. For example: When we say 1,2,3 she knows we're making her clap. She hasn't quite gotten the hang of clapping yet, but she moves her hands in rhythm with our counting. She also knows what "get up, get up, get up" means - she will hold her hands up, grab our finger and raise her torso and come up. She knows the fan, she looks around curiously at everything and she’ll scrunch her eyebrows together to figure something out.
When I look at old pictures, I find it hard to believe it’s the same tiny little baby I held in my arms on that drizzly May morning!
At 6 months, I find the words of my father ringing in my ears. “Parenting is the most fulfilling thing you will do in life”. I think it’s true. There’s no gratification in the world as watching your child learn, acquire and apply new skills. Something as simple as figuring out how to clap is a moment of pride and joy. And every parent feels this, although thousands of children go through the same milestones, it’s only when your own child does it that you know how it fills your hear with joy!
Here’s wishing Ahana a very happy 6 months and several more to come! We love you with all our hearts and beings. Mamma & Dad.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
And the debate continues...
Ah is almost 6 months old! Since her birth, I have been a firm believer of exposing her to our lifestyle (however boring it might be) so she gets used to it and learns to adapt to our ways. For the first couple months obviously we were mostly home. It was just not easy bringing her out when she was on a 2 hour feeding schedule. The first time we took her out to dinner, we felt like we were walking on eggshells. She did spectacularly. She got her bottle, slept through most of it and when she got fussy, R went out with her and rocked her to make her comfortable. That was encouraging and we slowly got to a point where we knew her needs and made sure we met them.
We tried going out earlier, ate dinner early and tried to be back by the time she needed to be in bed.
She seemed sensitive to her environment early on and it was clear that once it was nightfall, she needed to be in familiar surroundings and more often than not, needed mamma.
We've been to 2 or 3 parties at friends' places and even hosted a small one. The hosting was easy because most people were family but I ended up spending a lot of time putting A to sleep (in vain). Which meant I spent a lot of time upstairs in my bedroom instead of downstairs being part of the party. At 2 mos old, she knew there was something going on and wanted to party. The next one, we spent about 1-2 hours while there to try and put her to sleep at her "usual" time. She was either startled by the noise or just too warm and she only managed to nap and then woke up fresh as a daisy. I finally put my foot down and gave up trying to put her to sleep. The result being we lay her down on a blanket on the carpet and she partied with us until we got tired and sleepy! She slept peacefully in the car seat on the way home and got situated in her crib with no fuss.
The whole time we were there, R wanted to run out the door and come back home. I had to stand my ground and refuse. I really feel that A needs to get to a point where she will sleep when she's sleepy, regardless of where she's at. All she needs is a firm, flat surface and relative quietude.
Anyway, the third time we took her out, she slept at her usual time (!) without a fuss and stayed asleep until we left.
I guess what I am really trying to get at and the "debate" in question is whether you should be "over-sensitive" to your child and keep them home because little princess wants to go to bed at 8? Or, you let them adapt and have them sleep in your lap, car seat, floor etc.
I prefer to do the latter by being mindful of the obvious outlying situations and my motto is clear: We stay as long as she's not throwing a fit and going blue in the face from crying (I exaggerate). A little fussing happens even at home. If she cannot unwind and sleep at a friend's place, we get in the car and go home. But I don't want to be the one cooped up at home just because she "may" fuss or she "may not" sleep or worse she "may stay awake". I don't have an issue with her staying awake, she's a baby, she only has so much energy. Eventually, she will fall asleep.
Don't get me wrong, it's not as though I party every weekend and stay out until the cows come home. We usually end earlier than midnight (because we ourselves get tired) and we ensure Ah gets the attention she needs and deserves. SO there's no neglect or lack of sensitivity. But once in a while, it's nice for us to get out and meet everyone and for her to meet everyone. How will she mingle with our circle if she never gets to see them. I don't want her to be a shy and scared child who will hide behind her mother’s proverbial “pallu”. If we don’t expose her to the world, she will not have the concept of being outside of her familiar surroundings. We are fortunate that we seem to have an easy going child (she’s a Taurean and I think I might end up eating my words some day) who is willing to adapt. But there will always be outliers and the obvious ones are illnesses. For example, last week she seemed to have a stuffy nose and was very uncomfortable on Friday night. We had a socially packed Saturday and while we took her to a friend’s place for lunch because she seemed in good spirits, we decided to keep her home during the evening since that’s when colds typically get worse and we wanted her to get as much rest as possible. We modified/canceled our plans for the evening because our priorities were clear. Her health and well being come first, entertainment is fairly low on the list.
We have dinner plans for the upcoming weekend as well…since we have this huge influx of babies in our group the host has set the time for 7:00 PM. It’s another matter that very few of the folks will actually end up on time. But I appreciate the sensitivity of the hostess to recognize and try to accommodate. We’re desis, we don’t tend to eat dinner at 6 PM! A dear family member thought it was insensitive. Thought they don’t have kids so they decided to have a dinner party. I had to disagree. Not so long ago, we didn’t have Ahana in our midst and we preferred to invite over dinner than lunch and even today, that will be the preference. Why? It’s simple – we’re all working people, we have a large group meaning cooking takes time and planning. Saturday mornings are the best time to get organized for Dinner. Can you imagine cooking single handedly (in most cases) for 20+ adults alone on Saturday morning? That followed by clean up which is tougher and not to mention dishes. Also, it gives folks time to relax on Saturdays and get their chores taken care of.
The point really is, it’s upto parents to decide if an event meets their schedule or not. If a party is inconvenient to me, I will simply refuse politely. And for that matter, it’s the same as going out for Dinner or going to the temple in the evening or even to something like the Town's Diwali where we were OUTSIDE in the cold, with Ah strapped into her car seat/stroller and asleep while Shweta Pandit screeched away on the microphone (that deserves an entire post but I won’t waste my time on her…).
Long story short, I am proponent of exposing children to a variety of environments early on. Again, not every weekend perhaps, but every now and then it’s a good change for them and for us. We’re open to lunches and dinners and movies at home, provided she’s not uncomfortable or sick. That’s it, period. End of story.
We tried going out earlier, ate dinner early and tried to be back by the time she needed to be in bed.
She seemed sensitive to her environment early on and it was clear that once it was nightfall, she needed to be in familiar surroundings and more often than not, needed mamma.
We've been to 2 or 3 parties at friends' places and even hosted a small one. The hosting was easy because most people were family but I ended up spending a lot of time putting A to sleep (in vain). Which meant I spent a lot of time upstairs in my bedroom instead of downstairs being part of the party. At 2 mos old, she knew there was something going on and wanted to party. The next one, we spent about 1-2 hours while there to try and put her to sleep at her "usual" time. She was either startled by the noise or just too warm and she only managed to nap and then woke up fresh as a daisy. I finally put my foot down and gave up trying to put her to sleep. The result being we lay her down on a blanket on the carpet and she partied with us until we got tired and sleepy! She slept peacefully in the car seat on the way home and got situated in her crib with no fuss.
The whole time we were there, R wanted to run out the door and come back home. I had to stand my ground and refuse. I really feel that A needs to get to a point where she will sleep when she's sleepy, regardless of where she's at. All she needs is a firm, flat surface and relative quietude.
Anyway, the third time we took her out, she slept at her usual time (!) without a fuss and stayed asleep until we left.
I guess what I am really trying to get at and the "debate" in question is whether you should be "over-sensitive" to your child and keep them home because little princess wants to go to bed at 8? Or, you let them adapt and have them sleep in your lap, car seat, floor etc.
I prefer to do the latter by being mindful of the obvious outlying situations and my motto is clear: We stay as long as she's not throwing a fit and going blue in the face from crying (I exaggerate). A little fussing happens even at home. If she cannot unwind and sleep at a friend's place, we get in the car and go home. But I don't want to be the one cooped up at home just because she "may" fuss or she "may not" sleep or worse she "may stay awake". I don't have an issue with her staying awake, she's a baby, she only has so much energy. Eventually, she will fall asleep.
Don't get me wrong, it's not as though I party every weekend and stay out until the cows come home. We usually end earlier than midnight (because we ourselves get tired) and we ensure Ah gets the attention she needs and deserves. SO there's no neglect or lack of sensitivity. But once in a while, it's nice for us to get out and meet everyone and for her to meet everyone. How will she mingle with our circle if she never gets to see them. I don't want her to be a shy and scared child who will hide behind her mother’s proverbial “pallu”. If we don’t expose her to the world, she will not have the concept of being outside of her familiar surroundings. We are fortunate that we seem to have an easy going child (she’s a Taurean and I think I might end up eating my words some day) who is willing to adapt. But there will always be outliers and the obvious ones are illnesses. For example, last week she seemed to have a stuffy nose and was very uncomfortable on Friday night. We had a socially packed Saturday and while we took her to a friend’s place for lunch because she seemed in good spirits, we decided to keep her home during the evening since that’s when colds typically get worse and we wanted her to get as much rest as possible. We modified/canceled our plans for the evening because our priorities were clear. Her health and well being come first, entertainment is fairly low on the list.
We have dinner plans for the upcoming weekend as well…since we have this huge influx of babies in our group the host has set the time for 7:00 PM. It’s another matter that very few of the folks will actually end up on time. But I appreciate the sensitivity of the hostess to recognize and try to accommodate. We’re desis, we don’t tend to eat dinner at 6 PM! A dear family member thought it was insensitive. Thought they don’t have kids so they decided to have a dinner party. I had to disagree. Not so long ago, we didn’t have Ahana in our midst and we preferred to invite over dinner than lunch and even today, that will be the preference. Why? It’s simple – we’re all working people, we have a large group meaning cooking takes time and planning. Saturday mornings are the best time to get organized for Dinner. Can you imagine cooking single handedly (in most cases) for 20+ adults alone on Saturday morning? That followed by clean up which is tougher and not to mention dishes. Also, it gives folks time to relax on Saturdays and get their chores taken care of.
The point really is, it’s upto parents to decide if an event meets their schedule or not. If a party is inconvenient to me, I will simply refuse politely. And for that matter, it’s the same as going out for Dinner or going to the temple in the evening or even to something like the Town's Diwali where we were OUTSIDE in the cold, with Ah strapped into her car seat/stroller and asleep while Shweta Pandit screeched away on the microphone (that deserves an entire post but I won’t waste my time on her…).
Long story short, I am proponent of exposing children to a variety of environments early on. Again, not every weekend perhaps, but every now and then it’s a good change for them and for us. We’re open to lunches and dinners and movies at home, provided she’s not uncomfortable or sick. That’s it, period. End of story.
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