Has it really been THIS long?

I don't know if this can be called a hiatus? More like a sabbatical actually but I come to this page and the fingers don't know what to type!

Well now that I have more than a few things to report and talk about here we go...the fingers run like knife in butter.

Mommy being in town meant she was constantly webbed to the WWW and hence why I have been fairly away from the blog. She's now visiting the sibling and I do miss her. It's funny though, us both have a tempestuous relationship. Can't live with the other, can't live without. It's ok though, I am being a drama queen. Moms are moms after all, they bug you for a reason. And who else would, if they didn't??

R actually picked up tricks on emotional blackmail from her...not a fact I am proud to announce!

WE WENT TO THE U2 360 CONCERT AND IT WAS AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!!!

We haven't seen a stage performance like that ever. PERIOD. The stage, the technical production values, the songs, the band, BONO of course, it all rocked like nothing has ever Rocked Raleigh before. It was totally worth the $200 odd we spent on the tickets - we were about 8 rows up from the spot where the standing crowd ended. Of course, we weren't seated for too long after they came on stage :-p

The crowds sang half of "still haven't found what I'm lookin for" and it was in sync, no kidding!

SIGH - I wish they performed every weekend...that was FUN!

In other news, Diwali this year is turning out to be quite lackluster in the GnR household. Cleaning is far from done, the lights are up and the diyas are ready to be lit and that might be considered saving grace. I don't know if I'll muster energy at the last minute to make something sweet and savory. At least the last three Diwalis I made sweets. Karanji the first year, Besan ke laddoo the next and last Diwali I actually made a feast for 30 people.

I'm craving chaklis, but I don't have the heart to deep fry and I may just try some baked version if I find a suitable recipe. Otherwise, there's a new Rajbhog store in town and I'd just pick up some mithai from there to make up for the lost enthusiasm in GG's kitchen!

This Diwali however, we have not one, not two but THREE parties to attend. Who knew?! Meeting with everyone will surely make up for the lack of hustle bustle at the house! Dhanteras is Friday and I need to decide to buy something metallic (precious metals are welcome but I don't know that the budget permits) so maybe a new pot/pan/some trinket for the home is in store.

Sarees and their respective blouses were brought out last weekend itself, seeing as one of the invites is for Friday night. Kanjivaram the first day (I need more kanjivarams, I never thought I'd hear myself say that) a black Paithani on Saturday (that's brand new) OR pure crepe embroidered sari from the engagement. Depending on what's more likely to endure the two parties (and food stains, yes I am a klutz!)

It's nice to be able to fit into blouses from 3 years ago. Some of the muscle tone is gone from the pre-wedding days but not enough to make any ugly bulges in the back. PHEW!!

I sorely miss India during Diwali. The days turn shorter, it's REALLY cold all of a sudden and believe it or not I even miss the smell of burnt fire crackers (I know...eww). But nothing speaks festive like streets lined with kandil vendors, rangoli colors and diyas in all shapes, colors and sizes, buying jewelry on Dhanteras and shopping for new clothes. This year Diwali being so early, there's no Holiday lighting to brighten up the mood either. At least when it's in late October or November, the holiday season has started and people around here do light up their homes!

Well, well...enough ranting for me. This year is no different from the last. Diwali will be just another day spent with friends trying to make up for the lack of being in the homeland, trying to recreate the spirit and festivities, trying to recreate home!

Random updates

I have been here and there. Often visiting this page wondering if I have something to write. Turns out, I didn't have much to write afterall.

- I have been putting off a pedicure for months. Even a self - pedicure (foot scrubbing in the shower is also down to an all time low). I blame it on the weather...I think I get annoyed with the heat and with all the maintenance a human body takes and let it go down the drain till I can't stand it any longer. I'm getting there...soon!

-While we're still on the beauty topic, did I mention I needed a facial and a brow makeover too? The brows have been suffering too...given my overall disinterest to look after the body phase. One of the girlfriends did pass on the contact info for an Indian lady who operates out of her home and offers promising facials. I'm nervous about facials in this country. My first Summer in NC (would you believe this is my third??? It's the longest I have stayed in any state in the past 7 years :) ) I went to a Spa voted as the best in the area and spent 100 (wtf) bucks on a facial. The ambience was great but the beautician was watching the clock the whole time. And she put me in a wrap that was supposed to heat up (did I mention how I cannot stand being in a hot pocket?). So while I came out glowing, I was not happy. Is there anybody that will deal with all the blackheads and not complain about spending more than 50 mins doing their job? So...the new chick will get a try. At 1/4 the cost I am willing to get 4 facials done if need be to get those suckers out!

So all this time, while I am going from grunge to grungier, the husband is busy taking his 31st year of life to a whole new level (yes, he turned a page on 30, but he still looks like a school kid. Maybe in my eyes he'll remain twenty for life!) . He has a boot camp class at the gym he attends religiously and is constantly showing off his abs, while I can only show off tires and flab and the occassional tricep that's soon going to fade into oblivion. Note to self: Look into purchasing loose weights (yeah, nice pun, no?). Atleast while warming the couch one can tone some muscles...

- Shopping for mom is fun! Especially, when she'll wear what you got and be all praise. Yes, mommy's a visiting. Thanks to her I get to eat chapatis everyday (although they are the huge north indian style two fold rotis) and can hope to lose a few pounds having reduced rice to an occassional meal or a small side. Mom's actually more serious about her weight than I am...tsk tsk...the young these days.

- I have realized after two consecutive Saturdays of late nights (wrapping up 2 am or later in bed by 3) that I cannot handle them when they come back to back like this. I need a break. Our Saturdays are increasingly spent mostly outside browsing stores and what not pushing chores out to Sunday. If there's alcohol on Saturday nights, Sundays are so much worse. I feel drained, dehydrated but I can't not do my chores. So by the time evening comes I feel like I need to hit the sack. This Sunday night I tucked myself in at 10, read the Kite Runner until 10.30 and promptly fell asleep. For a change, Monday morning was refreshing (of course I woke up at 7.45...) Getting old! Sigh...

- I am truly convinced we will never find bedroom furniture. NEVER. EVER. We look around, look around some more but we're never convinced. For a change I like something but the sticker shock won't losen it's grip. Then we wonder if it's worth spending upwards of 3K for matching bedroom furniture and we won't succumb to the Ikeas of the world either. GAAAHHHHH - Watched the hysterical wedding march video? No? I'm sure if you searched for wedding dance on youtube you'd find it. It's worth a laugh!

- I want to be able to take off every weekend. Just hop in the car and go somewhere fun. We tend to take our chores too seriously and eat at home too much (I am sure someone will disagree).

- Did I share my newfound love for Walmart? Walmart and I have had an on again off again relationship. While I am not the one to be buying clothes and shoes from walmart (call me brand conscious, pseudo, whatever...Walmart does not cater to my needs, I'd rather go to Macys and find me bargains from their clearance racks, thank you very much!) and I hated going there on weekends due to the HUMONGOUS lines, there's a spanking new walmart near work, they keep veggies too and it's the perfect stop for grocery shopping after work. What's more, they are really a few cents cheaper than any other store on the block! So, until this new Walmart starts to lose its sparkle and shine, the relationship is ON!

That's all I have for now...

The Human Touch

This weekend on the official day 1 of summer, the mercury hit 100 degrees in our part of the world. We didn't have major plans, but a trip to the mall was due (Macy's had their one day sale...yes yet again!). So we finished our business at Macy's and paid Potterybarn a routine visit (for all the modern cleaned line look R and I prefer, it sometimes amazes me that I can spend so much time at PB!). Anyhoo, we browsed the clearance rack (lest I find some more pure silk drapes in the perfect size), didn't find anything and started to head out the store.

So we're stepping out but there's a lot of people walking right outside the store front (the corridor in between the stores on either side of the mall) and we're waiting to step into a gap.

A young girl/woman is walking by with a man...and she has her hand up as if she's waving to R and I standing right outside the store. I smiled back, R waved and said Hi!

The girl caught R's hand and stopped in her tracks. When she stopped one could tell something was not quite right with the girl, she didn't say anything but she leaned forward to peck R on his cheek. First one, then the other, while the guy she was accompanied by was trying to get her to let go. He seemed somewhat embarrassed, we were both watching this unfold. And that was not quite the end of it. She reached up and hugged R!! And she just would not let go...

She still didn't say anything, not sure if she could or knew how to. But you could tell she was not quite normal (and I hate saying that because she just might be free spirited and might be perfectly normal. Anyway, we don't see strangers doing things like this...so it was definitely out of the ordinary.)

So anyway, her friend finally managed to separate them, all R could do was wait until she was done sharing her affections. At some point I think I was moved to tears (no, not because an unknown girl was hugging my husband and you think I was upset) but more because this was something so simple and basic. The girl probably was happy that someone responded to her gesture and was being as goofy as she was. There was a childlike quality to her and she did what a little child looking for attention would do!

I will never forget her face. She's locked in my memory forever...

It's funny, I'm sure there will be a lot of sneaky comments on this one, but R was super embarrassed after the whole thing. He didn't know how that happened or why and when I told him about this post he was shaking his head in the most disapproving way!

Well honey, I did it anyway because to me it seemed like she was saying thanks for humoring her, for letting her be herself, goofy and silly. Most of all, it was like her saying thanks for not letting the child in you get lost! And that's the one quality I hope you never, ever lose.

Awww... :)

This actually moved me to tears!

Sometimes, I get overwhelmed when I read or hear about an act of honesty or kindness. Like this news item on mumbaimirror - http://mumbaimirror.com/article/2/2009061720090617043914133c09a1ced/Auto-driver-saves-the-day-for-bride-returns-lost-jewellery.html

It's about a family that left behind a bag of jewelry in an auto-rickshaw, en route to the venue for their daughter's wedding. The driver noticed the bag later and rushed back to the venue to hand it over to the much distressed family. We all know what it means for a girl's family to get the daughter married. We all understand the role jewelry has to play in all of this, not just from a dowry perspective but also from the "stree dhan" point of view.

People from rich families would be distressed by something of this sort happening to them, imagine the plight of the less fortunate.

Kudos to the rickshaw driver, may his act of righteousness and goodwill bring hope to jaded souls like mine.

No wonder, reading something like this moves me because although it is the right thing to be done, somewhere inside I am so jaded that I have become a non-believer? HMMM food for thought!

Not so Shiney after all?

I shall be the first to admit - I liked Shiney Ahuja's "on the edge" performances. But his latest fiasco churns my stomach and makes me sick!

It's when the rich and illustrious expose their underbellies, that we get to know the harsh realities that face us. He's supposed to be in custody until June 18 for his heinous crime that he claims was consentual. We'll find out more as the story unfolds, but I am just totally disappointed. Shame on you, Shiney!

Edited to Add: I had opened a new post but never quite wrote it. don't go by the date on this one - I had no clue about this until Sunday night (6/14) when R announced what he read on Mid-day.

When to love is to let go...

Loving and losing are a part of life. There are several famous quotes I could rattle off on the topic and often they seem awfully cliché. Some might even call them philosophical, but when you go through those emotions and come out wiser and older, you know they hold true.

A dear family member has been having a tough time grappling with the changes in his life. After years of being in a relationship, complacency sets in and anything that is different from the “old normal” is abnormal. Me being older (ahem! And wiser…) I had to give him sound advice and put his fears to rest. Having been through some of those emotions myself, the attempt at putting him to ease helped me take a step back and re-evaluate my own experiences.

Many moons ago, R had asked me to read a famous book called “who moved my cheese”. I have seen the book on various bookshelves through my growing years. But it never moved me enough to want to read it. When R recommended it, we were having our own set of issues and I was adamant I wouldn’t read it because I feared it would somehow prove him right.

We moved on and have been happily married for over two years. In retrospect, it all seems so childish. It is freaky how different life is when you’re 23 versus when you’re 27. R’s older brother had once made a comment, “you both have to grow up together…” I keep those words close to my heart. And through the years I have reminded myself that nobody said this was going to be easy.

Growing up is tough, being in love is tough and life is not a bed of roses. You don’t always get what you want and sometimes you have to put ‘us’ before you think about ‘I’. I am not trying to say that life is all serious and no fun. But you have to put things in perspective. Change is the only constant, times change, people change, life changes. To imagine your life will always stay the same is, well…romantic!

And this I find true not only of romantic relationships but when you share a close bond with another person, this is true. When you are closely bound, you have certain expectations. Expectations lead to let downs, let downs lead to heartache. Relationships have to be worked on. Anything that grows, need nurturing and care. Most of all, you need space. Space to grow, space to think.

Being in love is not all about having rose tinted glasses on and saying "I love you" every few hours of the day. The real test of love is in the hardships. It is not how well you do when times are good, it's how you perform when times are bad that matters. Every relationship reaches a stage where the going gets tough. The ones that adapt and press on to make it through, eventually come out stronger. Those that find it too hard to move on and cling on too tightly to the past, often will turn so brittle that they will eventually break under pressure.

It's like that old proverb, when you love someone, let them go. If they love you, they'll come right back?

Things have changed for the better for my family members. And I hope that they understand and are wiser by their own experience that it's important to keep things in perspective and adapt to changes in your life.

So let one of your grudges or peeves go today. You'll come through feeling a lot less burdened by the baggage of your expectations.

my favorite verse...

woh ek khushboo aati thi

woh ek khushboo aati thi..

main bhatakta jaata tha

reshmisi maya thi

aur main takta rehta tha

jab teri galli aaya

sach tabhi nazar aaya

mujhmein hi woh khushboo thi

jis se tune milwaya, aa

maula, maula, maula mere maula

Maula Maula from Delhi 6 - Lyrics: Prasoon Joshi