Size matters

This post will talk about the most common fashion faux pas - that of the ill-fitted intimate wear and ill-fitted clothes variety.

Let's face it, we'd all like to be a size 0 or may be 2, 4 or even 6 -- OK fine, 8. But double digits?? Oh lord...let's not go there. Going from a 10 to 12 to 14 is a slippery slope. On a tangent though, has anyone realized that retailers are making bigger and bigger size 4s, 6s and 8s?

I was a size 8 (yes, I have no shame) in 2001 - those jeans were once loose...now I am sure to be a much bigger size but I still fit in size 8s or 6s even (post-pregnancy). It's a feel good about yourself strategy. Where you are lead to believe you are thin because you once fit into those "thin" size clothes. Anyway I digress.

The biggest pet peeve I have is that of the ill fitted bra. You know, when you're truly a 38DD but are too ashamed (of what or of whom I don't know) to admit? And you end up buying a 36C because, ahem, you think you can squeeze into it? Well, let me remind you sista - you do yourself and your girls a big disservice. Here's how - although you may squeeze into the said 36C bra, the girls really don't. With the result that they have to huddle and squeeze to fit into cups that eventually runneth over. Heaven forbid you decide to wear a form fitting shirt over the bra and your silhouette will look like there's little tufts of fat sticking out of the cups. If the band size is much smaller than you need it to be (the circumference around the widest part of the chest) then you'll also end up with tires that look over-inflated and the girls will end up looking like their suspended in space. Then there is the minimizer bra - the concept is to wear the right size and look smaller, not wear a smaller size to look minimized. If you wear a small minimizer bra, God, I don't know how you breathe!

Let's not even get into how bad an ill fitted bra is on your back and your pectoral muscles and shoulders. The straps will cut into your skin, the back strap will ride up from the additional weight on the cups and the orbs will just not fit fully into the cups, causing them to overflow. And why is it that I find more and more Indian women suffering from this syndrome? One of my acquaintances, an older Punjabi aunty was of the opinion that she was forever a 34B. NOT! Then there's the quintessential Gujrati blouse maker. These are skilled craftsmen but they invariably make the blouses a bit too tight to give the illusion of a slimmer body. But it's impossible to breathe in those blouse and the poor girls get squished in even more. Heck they even make sleeves SO tight that at the bottom of the blouse you see a big bulge of fat...you know like a balloon that was pressed on one end to make the other end stick out?

Here are some fashion facts to slim the silhouette and avoid much bulging and ballooning!

- always get a bra that fits, don't try to fit into the bra. You'll know you have the right size when nothing sticks out, when the girls don't look like they are being squished into the cups and when the edge of the cup is nestled snugly under the breast where it meets the rib cage. If the cup ends somewhere on the boob...you need bigger cups. More size guidelines on Victoria's Secret's website.

- if you are one of those women with the big jugs, PLEASE get your blouse tailors to increase the height on your blouses. If the blouse is short or regular size, eventually, it will start to ride up from the front and get nestled under the bust. Ever seen women reach under the saree to pull it down?? Yep, that's what happens when the length is not adequate...

- if you are one of those women with pre-existent tires around the waist at the back - same tip, make sure the blouse is long enough. No one's going to miss your mid-riff display. It's not sexy to see fat tires...

If your blouse is long enough that it falls below the tires, they get hidden and your resulting silhouette is straight and svelte as though you never had the tires to begin with! (Yes, you can thank me later...actually thank my mom. She's full of tips!)

- If you must wear stripes, avoid the horizontal kind like the plague they only make you look wider. I am eternally beware of horizontal stripes - I probably have one or two things with them, one of them was gifted to me!

- make dark colors your best friends they always slim the silhouette

- If you are short and would like to add some height, avoid sarees with contrast borders. The one solid color always makes you look taller

- speaking of optical illusions, if your clothes fit and are actually a little bit loose or comfortable, they will make you look slimmer

Little things go a long way in making you look more presentable. There are a few overweight people I have met in my life who are able to gracefully carry themselves by wearing the right clothes. And I plan to take some of the above advise to heart, now that I am an official mummy, I should dress the part!