Ek Parvaaz...

Haawwt!!

2011-07-12T08:27:00.004-05:00

Last night, I picked up A and knew she was hungry. So we get home around 6:00 PM, I dropped her in her father's arms and got started on her dinner. Eggs and bread was the fastest thing I could come up with and so that was the menu.

A usually likes watching me cook because she knows she's going to get something to eat and R was standing behind letting her watch. I fried some tomatoes and veggies and to let them steam I put a lit on the pan (lid being a steel plate). A second later I realized I forgot salt so I ended up touching the plate that was hot in an instant! So naturally, I jerked my hand and went "sssss".
In an instant, A pipes up and says "Haaww(t)"
Yes, baby, HOT! That's right...good job!

It's amazing how they learn. We've been teaching her "hot" by letting her quickly touch our mugs of coffee and its an easy way to deter her from wanting to try it. But that she was able to apply the concept to watching her mom scald her finger when trying to touch a hot plate, was truly priceless!

10 Day you challenge - taking a leaf...

2011-06-27T10:19:00.005-05:00

...from namesake's blog.
10 secrets, 9 loves, 8 fears, 7 wants, 6 places, 5 foods, 4 books, 3 films, 2 songs, 1 picture.
Easy enough to do and gives me things to write about and discover myself in the process.
It's going to take me longer than 10 days and some of this is very personal but so is this blog!

Day 1: Ten Secrets
1. I wish I would maintain a constant weight of 128 lbs. Yes, that exact number.
2. I don't like being hot and sweaty - hence why I cannot lose weight - because I don't like working out!
3. Sometimes I wish we hadn't bought this great big house (it's the days I am annoyed about all the junk we collect)
4. I secretly wish I was a beach/mountain bum (with a big bank balance of course, in case I want to go back to luxurious living)
5. I didn't work very hard at college, sometimes I wish I did!
6. I have always wanted to learn to play the guitar, there was a music teacher in school who we called Sir Joey (complete with long hair and a voice like Remo Fernandes) and I had a huge crush on him because he could play the guitar like magic!
7. I still like Bryan Adams after graduating to U2, The Who, Pink Floyd etc.
8. I was always known as Chitra's sister in school and they couldn't believe we were so different (I was always getting in trouble!)
9. I once had a crush on someone who used to drive around in a Blue Maruti Gypsy! No name, no idea who it was, but I guess I fell for the image :) (err before you judge I was just 13)
10. I don't remember the exact moment I thought I had fallen in love with R, although I still do remember the date he first brought it up!

6 months too late

2011-06-07T12:44:00.007-05:00

I was going to write this eons ago, actually when the new year began. After all it seemed fitting to write about the last decade, at the beginning of the 2nd decade of the millennium??
Oh well, it didn't happen but here goes:
The Last Decade 2000-2010: A retrospective

I have been working on this for almost a decade it seems like. It’s really hard to just sit down at one go and think about an entire decade of your life. Perhaps the most crucial/formative decade of my life, as I entered adulthood at the helm of the new millennium.

The last decade for me personally has been full of transition, travel, learning and growing. I have donned several hats, moved to and from several cities and generally had a ball. The decade was not without it’s challenges, but I only choose to remember that if they didn’t kill me, they made me stronger!
I went from being a student to an immigrant student. I traveled from India to the United States at the not-so-ripe age of 20 (not my first time to the US but definitely the first time alone). I went from being a young carefree girl to a young girl in a long distance relationship (her first and only at that!). I also went from being a dependant daughter to a self-sufficient working woman paying her own bills. I made new friends and I can say they are for life. I drifted apart from friends I thought I’d be graying my hair with. I went from a girlfriend to a wife and a wife to mom. I spell family now, there’s no denying it. And the biggest change of the last decade was that we went from being DINKs to DIOKs ;-)
Becoming a mother in 2010 certainly marks the highlight and the best close to the decade.

Here are some observations mostly about my self:
- I feel as though becoming a parent has taught me a thing or two about my own parents and I feel closer now to them than ever before. It’s as though I feel a new connection with them and I understand.
- I have realized that I cannot make everyone happy all the time. And I have come to peace with that. It used to irritate me no end when people didn’t listen to me, or didn’t understand what I wanted, or didn’t see what I saw the way I saw it. Some part of me just gave up but I honestly feel more at peace with things that don’t go my way. I do what I can and leave it at that.
- I have stopped giving unsolicited advice. Partly because I don't want to be on the receiving end.
- I am more confident and relaxed in my relationship with the husband. It’s been 4 years of course and sometimes it feels like 14, but I no longer am trying to please/or woo. Yes, I strive to ensure I don’t make him inadvertently unhappy (although isn’t that what a stereotypical wife is meant to do – generally make her husband miserable?) but I am not constantly trying to be perfect. We have our differences, we let them be, we don’t fight so much anymore (although we still do get annoyed) but we realize it’s the differences and some of the similarities that make us work. We’ve learnt to let go and not be angry at the same time. We make it work, somehow!
- I am OK with clutter – well, not really but I no longer unduly stress over it. With a baby in the house it’s hard enough keeping our lives on track and on most days we operate on auto pilot so some things do languish. And this is one reason why I like visitors more than ever, they force us to declutter!
- I feel as though I married a gem when I see a doting father working really hard and doing so much “seva” for his little princess. It does not go unnoticed and I have told him several times that he makes a very good father. You have to see how A literally lights up like a million watts when she sees him. Sometimes she will want to go to him when I am holding her and R will say “sorry”. I don’t feel bad about it – I love to watch them bond. She is SO going to be Daddy’s Pet!!
- I am more at ease with my in-laws. And this may have to do with time and with the fact that I take them for what they are and they seem to accept me for what I am. It’s a two way street and I feel very lucky for their giving and tolerant ways. It also means that I no longer try to change their ways and just go with the flow without trying to stir the pot too much. I participate as best as I can with the religious and traditional things (more than I ever imagined myself doing) and I do it with a clean heart. Like in the words of my mother “If you do something you do it with grace, or don’t do it at all”. Yes, I still get worked up about little things but I try to remind myself that they are little. They spent a considerable amount of time with us in 2010 to help with Ahana and they doted on her to no end. I am eternally grateful for their support.
- I also learnt new words in Tamil. I won’t bother bragging about them here
- When I look back at my married life I feel as though things have reached a steady state. I feel as though we know most of what there is to know about each other and we are closer now than ever before. I don’t know if the baby is to be credited because they say a baby strengthens a marriage.

– I still refuse to do things just because they have always been done a certain way. Taking a leaf from TMM’s page, the day before our wedding was the day I least loved my husband. Why? Because he refused to step up and do something that was not written in the “book”. He didn’t ensure something would get done the way I wanted it although he had promised it would.
- I have mellowed. I no longer howl each time I am asked to conform. I merely do the needful and try to keep everyone happy. It doesn’t make me a smaller person. And I hope the husband realizes I do it out of my love for him and to keep the peace in the family. Part of it is also thanks to my mother who tells me to take things in the right spirit and not create problems when there are none. So I am learning, slowly albeit.
- I feel like I am not competing anymore. Early in a marriage you’re working to build trust, you’re building a new relationship and it’s easy to feel threatened or vulnerable. I think with Ahana’s arrival, we know we’re in this together and we wouldn’t want it any other way. And so where’s the need to compete? When we fought early on, I always felt like we were trying to get back at each other or we were competing. Now that we're truly a family, together we stand, divided we fall. For better or worse, till death do us part.
- I stay away from politics. At work, within the family and among friends. I stay close to my trusted circle and keep my head down.

- I have been exposed to and embraced more technology than I ever imagined in my wildest dreams

- I have lost my taste for alcohol, I guess two years as a teetotaler will do it to anyone...though I have developed a taste for beer. Never thought that would ever happen...

- I find I have lost the ambition I once had when I was younger. And I don’t feel any regrets. At the moment my focus is my daughter and my budding family. Everything else can be on hold. My MIL had once said you don’t need a LOT of money to be happy. And I don’t have a LOT of money but I am also not going to chase after it. Yes, I like having a job and bringing something to the table. But not one day goes by when I feel like I should give it up in order to improve my family life and spend more time with my daughter without having to constantly run after chores/deadlines.

- For all the peace I have made with myself in several aspects, I still take things very personally. I don’t take criticism about the way I or my family operates kindly. I am not the kind to have a quick retort or a smart alec answer. Typically I get so taken aback that people have judged me that it takes me a few hours to analyze the situation and make sense of it all. And this largely stems from the fact that I don’t judge others or the way they choose to lead their lives. So when someone comes to tell me how they think I should lead mine, I take it very, very personally. In the coming years I do hope to be able to filter some of this out and ignore those that tend to really hurt. People need to realize, there’s no 1 formula or 1 better way to lead one’s life. Gah, see, I’m mad again!
- I am a food snob. There, I said it, I admit it. I don’t claim to be the best cook (no matter how much S&S coax me to apply to The Next Food Network Star, you guys are so sweet!), but I am a critic. I get stuck in the details and it’s very easy for me to not enjoy a meal. I take pride in cooking for my family, even if it is 7 days a week. I prefer eating simple home cooked leftovers to eating out on a regular basis. I think it speaks to upbringing. I have many friends who were fed jam and bread for dinner and they didn’t complain. I was spoilt by mom cooking fresh meals every morning and evening. To this day, even when she’s visiting and is on vacation – she makes hot breakfast, lunch and dinner. Her favorite question is “what do we make next…”.

- My pantry may not be organized, but it’s full or overfull and that makes me happy. “bhandara bharpoori” loosely translated to full warehouse makes me feel like we have plenty and we have variety. I am a Sindhi but in my pantry you will find things that represent several parts of the country. An anecdote: My MIL was making matkichi usal and said “tumhare paas Goda masala nahi hai na?” (You don’t have Goda masala*, do you?). I said, don’t worry, I have everything and handed her the Goda Masala.
- I adapt easily. I can talk about food endlessly. And Saris...
- I have learned a lot from my mother. From cooking, to managing work-life, to parenting, to buying jewelry. I felt confident buying jewelry during our last India trip without help and all because she had brought me along to the jewelers and let me watch how she double checked and recalculated the final work up. I admire her, even if she may not believe it and I may not often let on. In the kitchen I see myself using some of her principles. And they are really simple things. She has a scientific way about her in the kitchen as far as energy consumption and cooking time is concerned and I have HUGELY benefited from her teaching.
- I admire R for all the work he does. He helps me unconditionally with everything and he does more than I ask him to and he keeps track of bills, home related stuff and both the cars. Yes, I told you he’s a keeper! I love you R !! (And I would even if you didn’t do all that you did )

-Most importantly, I learned that your parents are the only ones in the whole wide world who will stand by you through thick and thin, who'll put blankets on you while you shiver due to an epidural, who will put their life on hold to bring your life on track and who'll not mind cleaning up after you! So be good to your parents and do good by them...

First Annual Report!!

2011-05-24T14:56:00.008-05:00

On Thursday night as I finished frosting Ahana's cake, I kept thinking back to the day 1 year ago and what stage of "labor" I was in. I remembered the anticipation, but not the pain, the excitement but not the fear.
As we lay down in bed, tired after a long day R said Happy Birthday to us (we had been parents for a year after all) and asked me if I remembered what we were doing exactly a year ago at that moment. It's funny how our thoughts were so similar in the apparent dead of the night. I remembered that around 1:30 is when I was strapped to a monitor and asked not to move - Ahana's heart rate was dipping very low with some of the larger contractions and they needed to keep a close watch. Sitting there amid all that pain, I decided I had labored long enough and an epidural was now essential. My one big question was, what if the epi slows labor down? I think the nurse who had until this point been really mean to me knew where this was going and said "we'll just push more pitocin if we see it slowing down" RELIEF!! The epidural happened at 2:30 AM in the most unceremonious ways with harsh white lights and the Anesthesiologist barking orders at me while another contraction raged through. Once it took effect however, it was all smooth and pain free, no hotspots, no patchiness. At 3:30 AM mom woke up and found me violently tremoring (a common side effect of the drugs) and had the look of pure terror on her face. I felt fine though and the nurse asked me to try and relax and not think about it. I finally slept at 4:00 AM and the nurse came to shift me around 5:00 AM when I asked her to examine the progress...

All along I had been mortally afraid of being put under the knife, of being told I would not deliver naturally because labor had stalled, of being rushed to the OT to be delivered via C-Section. When the nurse checked and said we would begin pushing at 6:00 AM it was the best news ever!

Ahana's birth made it seem like there was no need to fear, that there was this tough child who knew how to make her way out, who handled the stress of labor and came through with flying colors and that I was a tough momma!

Anyway, we fell asleep at some point knowing that there was no more anticipation but the certitude of a little baby snuggled between us. The only anticipation was whether Ahana would have a good birthday or not and soon enough that was quashed too!

May 20, dawned and I was up at 6:00 AM feeling fresh as a daisy. It was like the nervous excitement you feel when you're going on a fun trip...you sleep grudgingly because you can't wait to wake up and go!!

I went downstairs and found Mom watching TV and sipping on chai. I made myself some chai and sat down to talk to Nani about how we all were in that room watching A being born. The rest of the day was spent getting ready for Ahana's Thatha, Thathi, Aunt and cousin to arrive! We brought A to the airport and she greeted everyone with her shy smiles and instantly played with thathi on the ride back home. From then on, A just simply took in all the attention everyone showered on her. Cousin A couldn't stop saying "my ahnu, my cute sister, I hug ahnu, ahnu is funneee...etc." and kept following her around. He hugged her so many times and it was the most endearing sight! A would blink really fast like a doll everytime Cousin A got really close but she didn't seem to mind all the monkeying around at all!

As parents, all we wanted for A on her first birthday was to be in comfortable surroundings, amidst people she loves and who love her back and simply enjoy the day. I have seen far too many 1 year olds bawling on their birthdays because they can't handle the crowd and chaos that their parents think is warranted to celebrate such a big milestone. But I wanted to keep this low key and focus on A and making sure she had a good time, rather than gloat over what a big achievement it was for us parents! Also, A shares her bday with her uncle who was flying in just short of midnight due to work commitments and it seemed sort of incomplete to celebrate without him. But to mark the occassion we took a couple of close friends and the family out to dinner. We cut the cake I baked for Ahana and fortunately, she didn't have a melt down although it was way past her bedtime. ON the way back home, she wanted to play with my mom in the backseat rather than take her bottle and snooze! Overall, she did great and we couldn't be more pleased with the way the day turned out for her.

The next day was also packed with activity. Since we had the whole family congregating together we decided to have her "Ayushyahomam" ceremony on the weekend rather than wait for her star birthday. That went off without a hitch, Ahana watched the ceremony with wide-eyed curiosity and was so exhausted right after lunch that she took a long nap again! In the evening she tried on her very first pattu-pavadai (skirt and blouse made from pure silk) and was thrilled to wear gold bangles in her arms just like her thathi and nani! She even showed them off as though she knew she had the same thing they did. It amazes me that she's so girly-girl...R thinks she gets it from me. But God knows I was not the girly girl I am today. I was the quintessential tomboy with dirty hands, no love for girly clothes and frills and the only girl in the neighborhood to own a good quality cricket bat!
So all told, A had a great birthday weekend flanked by loving family members. She didn't have a meltdown, she enjoyed her cake and wore it too!
Developmentally, she's pulling up a lot and walks with support. She's scared to let go and walk by herself but she does manage to stand alone for several seconds at a time. She has mastered stair climbing and is now trying to climb the couch, is imitating gestures we make and is very aware of all the extra attention she gets from Nana-Nani. It's leverage for her which means more tantrums and crocodile tears. But the fun has officially begun and we can't wait to see what more this little girl is going to surprise us with!!

Tardy Mamma: Third Quarterly Update

2011-03-09T13:59:00.000-05:00

So usually, I atleast start a draft so the date is on there…but I guess busy moms are allowed to slack off once in a while.
As usual, Ahana seems to take big leaps in development all at once! At the 9 month 1 week point, she started scooting around (this one is not going to crawl for reasons best known to herself!). Within a week, she was all over the place, trying to get herself into all kinds of trouble. Just shy of her 9 month birthday I tried feeding her a saltine cracker at her friend’s birthday party. As if she had known all along what to do, she held the cracker in her hand, brought it to her mouth and bit off (I should say gummed off) a little piece. She mashed it between her toothless gums and swallowed it. Just like that…
She also magically started using sign language quite a bit more. She’s constantly bringing her hand to her mouth meaning “Eat”, showing us the sign for Milk in the mornings and waving her hand for “all done” when she’s finished eating!

I may have said this before, but it never ceases to amaze me how much she already seems to understand and know. She has a sense of humor and an uncanny comic timing! The other day I was testing her by giving her a bottle with the cap on (to see if she wanted milk) and she sort of giggled and moved my hand and the bottle away. Then I uncapped it and brought it to her, this time she opened her mouth. It was almost as if she laughed because she thought her mother was being silly by testing her like that. Of course, one cannot drink milk from a bottle while the cap is still on!

Words cannot describe the pride I feel when my little baby responds to so many things we say/do. She’s a thinker and she plans her moves so she’s never aimlessly scooting around the room. It’s always, what do I want next, where do I want to go next.

The one big disadvantage of her being mobile now is that I cannot let my guard down when I leave her alone or take my eyes off her. She’s constantly trying to exercise her pincer grasp (being able to hold small objects between the thumb and fore finger) and pick up the minutia she finds on the carpet/floor. I guess her head being so close to the floor (say about a foot off the floor) and perfect vision makes it easy for her to spot the little bits lying on the floor. Last night she put something that looked like the stump of a fruit into her mouth (I swear I had not seen it lying there or it would have been lifted) and I caught her right when her hand was coming out of her mouth. I rushed in, and she knew what my next move was going to be. So she smiles, looks away and spits out the stump! She’s not always so kind, sometimes she knows I am going to get my finger in her mouth and she’ll purse her lips together and look away!!

Needless to say, my evenings and days with Ahana are exceedingly exciting! Poor Dad is busy and comes home later than usual and on most days during the work week and he gets home only after she has gone to bed. Mornings are Dad intensive though…you have to see the glee in her face when she wakes up to see Dad lying next to mom.
When I bathe her in the evenings and R is not home I ask her, “A, where is Dad? Can you find him” And she pokes her head up, her eyes wide with wonder and she looks towards the Bathroom door to see if he’s visible from any angle! She may not say the words, Mamma and Dada yet…but she knows what they mean and it fills us with this warm, fuzzy feeling.

I also can’t cease to say enough about how easy going this little baby of mine is. I couldn’t have asked for better. So when I complain about how I don’t have time for chores, errands, dressing up, working out etc. remind me – will you? That this is a passing phase and soon enough she’ll be grown up and out of my arms, not wanting to cuddle or give wet sloppy kisses anymore. Dressing up and working out can wait. The husband will disagree and I will agree to do just the same – disagree!! ;-)

Second Quarterly Update - A whole new world

2010-11-20T14:10:00.007-05:00

Ahana turns 6 months old today!
Unfortunately she meets this milestone on the day after my grandfather’s death. We had originally planned to celebrate with close friends, but I have decided to bring the day in quietly just between the three of us. There will be no cake, but she couldn’t have eaten it anyway. I had always harbored a desire for my grandparents to be able to hold Ahana in their arms, now the hope is that atleast one of them will. I miss Nanaji terribly, but I always feel as though he’s somewhere around here watching over us.

A whole new world has opened up for Ahana now that she is able to almost sit up without support. She occasionally wobbles and will fall sideways but she’s nailed it pretty good. We have been parents for 6 months now and sometimes I am in denial that this beautiful child is growing so quickly. Each week it’s something new, each week is a new discovery.
The teachers at daycare tell me A is very observant. She watches carefully and she has already started imitating!
She is also better at communicating her needs, when she feels pleasure and when she wants to express dissent.
Ah is a brave and tenacious girl and has the qunitessential Taurean spirit (read stubborn as the bull!) She understands a lot more than we give her credit for. For example: When we say 1,2,3 she knows we're making her clap. She hasn't quite gotten the hang of clapping yet, but she moves her hands in rhythm with our counting. She also knows what "get up, get up, get up" means - she will hold her hands up, grab our finger and raise her torso and come up. She knows the fan, she looks around curiously at everything and she’ll scrunch her eyebrows together to figure something out.
When I look at old pictures, I find it hard to believe it’s the same tiny little baby I held in my arms on that drizzly May morning!
At 6 months, I find the words of my father ringing in my ears. “Parenting is the most fulfilling thing you will do in life”. I think it’s true. There’s no gratification in the world as watching your child learn, acquire and apply new skills. Something as simple as figuring out how to clap is a moment of pride and joy. And every parent feels this, although thousands of children go through the same milestones, it’s only when your own child does it that you know how it fills your hear with joy!
Here’s wishing Ahana a very happy 6 months and several more to come! We love you with all our hearts and beings. Mamma & Dad.

And the debate continues...

2010-11-10T11:27:00.004-05:00

Ah is almost 6 months old! Since her birth, I have been a firm believer of exposing her to our lifestyle (however boring it might be) so she gets used to it and learns to adapt to our ways. For the first couple months obviously we were mostly home. It was just not easy bringing her out when she was on a 2 hour feeding schedule. The first time we took her out to dinner, we felt like we were walking on eggshells. She did spectacularly. She got her bottle, slept through most of it and when she got fussy, R went out with her and rocked her to make her comfortable. That was encouraging and we slowly got to a point where we knew her needs and made sure we met them.
We tried going out earlier, ate dinner early and tried to be back by the time she needed to be in bed.
She seemed sensitive to her environment early on and it was clear that once it was nightfall, she needed to be in familiar surroundings and more often than not, needed mamma.

We've been to 2 or 3 parties at friends' places and even hosted a small one. The hosting was easy because most people were family but I ended up spending a lot of time putting A to sleep (in vain). Which meant I spent a lot of time upstairs in my bedroom instead of downstairs being part of the party. At 2 mos old, she knew there was something going on and wanted to party. The next one, we spent about 1-2 hours while there to try and put her to sleep at her "usual" time. She was either startled by the noise or just too warm and she only managed to nap and then woke up fresh as a daisy. I finally put my foot down and gave up trying to put her to sleep. The result being we lay her down on a blanket on the carpet and she partied with us until we got tired and sleepy! She slept peacefully in the car seat on the way home and got situated in her crib with no fuss.
The whole time we were there, R wanted to run out the door and come back home. I had to stand my ground and refuse. I really feel that A needs to get to a point where she will sleep when she's sleepy, regardless of where she's at. All she needs is a firm, flat surface and relative quietude.
Anyway, the third time we took her out, she slept at her usual time (!) without a fuss and stayed asleep until we left.

I guess what I am really trying to get at and the "debate" in question is whether you should be "over-sensitive" to your child and keep them home because little princess wants to go to bed at 8? Or, you let them adapt and have them sleep in your lap, car seat, floor etc.
I prefer to do the latter by being mindful of the obvious outlying situations and my motto is clear: We stay as long as she's not throwing a fit and going blue in the face from crying (I exaggerate). A little fussing happens even at home. If she cannot unwind and sleep at a friend's place, we get in the car and go home. But I don't want to be the one cooped up at home just because she "may" fuss or she "may not" sleep or worse she "may stay awake". I don't have an issue with her staying awake, she's a baby, she only has so much energy. Eventually, she will fall asleep.

Don't get me wrong, it's not as though I party every weekend and stay out until the cows come home. We usually end earlier than midnight (because we ourselves get tired) and we ensure Ah gets the attention she needs and deserves. SO there's no neglect or lack of sensitivity. But once in a while, it's nice for us to get out and meet everyone and for her to meet everyone. How will she mingle with our circle if she never gets to see them. I don't want her to be a shy and scared child who will hide behind her mother’s proverbial “pallu”. If we don’t expose her to the world, she will not have the concept of being outside of her familiar surroundings. We are fortunate that we seem to have an easy going child (she’s a Taurean and I think I might end up eating my words some day) who is willing to adapt. But there will always be outliers and the obvious ones are illnesses. For example, last week she seemed to have a stuffy nose and was very uncomfortable on Friday night. We had a socially packed Saturday and while we took her to a friend’s place for lunch because she seemed in good spirits, we decided to keep her home during the evening since that’s when colds typically get worse and we wanted her to get as much rest as possible. We modified/canceled our plans for the evening because our priorities were clear. Her health and well being come first, entertainment is fairly low on the list.

We have dinner plans for the upcoming weekend as well…since we have this huge influx of babies in our group the host has set the time for 7:00 PM. It’s another matter that very few of the folks will actually end up on time. But I appreciate the sensitivity of the hostess to recognize and try to accommodate. We’re desis, we don’t tend to eat dinner at 6 PM! A dear family member thought it was insensitive. Thought they don’t have kids so they decided to have a dinner party. I had to disagree. Not so long ago, we didn’t have Ahana in our midst and we preferred to invite over dinner than lunch and even today, that will be the preference. Why? It’s simple – we’re all working people, we have a large group meaning cooking takes time and planning. Saturday mornings are the best time to get organized for Dinner. Can you imagine cooking single handedly (in most cases) for 20+ adults alone on Saturday morning? That followed by clean up which is tougher and not to mention dishes. Also, it gives folks time to relax on Saturdays and get their chores taken care of.
The point really is, it’s upto parents to decide if an event meets their schedule or not. If a party is inconvenient to me, I will simply refuse politely. And for that matter, it’s the same as going out for Dinner or going to the temple in the evening or even to something like the Town's Diwali where we were OUTSIDE in the cold, with Ah strapped into her car seat/stroller and asleep while Shweta Pandit screeched away on the microphone (that deserves an entire post but I won’t waste my time on her…).
Long story short, I am proponent of exposing children to a variety of environments early on. Again, not every weekend perhaps, but every now and then it’s a good change for them and for us. We’re open to lunches and dinners and movies at home, provided she’s not uncomfortable or sick. That’s it, period. End of story.

Size matters

2010-09-14T15:36:00.006-05:00

This post will talk about the most common fashion faux pas - that of the ill-fitted intimate wear and ill-fitted clothes variety.

Let's face it, we'd all like to be a size 0 or may be 2, 4 or even 6 -- OK fine, 8. But double digits?? Oh lord...let's not go there. Going from a 10 to 12 to 14 is a slippery slope. On a tangent though, has anyone realized that retailers are making bigger and bigger size 4s, 6s and 8s?

I was a size 8 (yes, I have no shame) in 2001 - those jeans were once loose...now I am sure to be a much bigger size but I still fit in size 8s or 6s even (post-pregnancy). It's a feel good about yourself strategy. Where you are lead to believe you are thin because you once fit into those "thin" size clothes. Anyway I digress.

The biggest pet peeve I have is that of the ill fitted bra. You know, when you're truly a 38DD but are too ashamed (of what or of whom I don't know) to admit? And you end up buying a 36C because, ahem, you think you can squeeze into it? Well, let me remind you sista - you do yourself and your girls a big disservice. Here's how - although you may squeeze into the said 36C bra, the girls really don't. With the result that they have to huddle and squeeze to fit into cups that eventually runneth over. Heaven forbid you decide to wear a form fitting shirt over the bra and your silhouette will look like there's little tufts of fat sticking out of the cups. If the band size is much smaller than you need it to be (the circumference around the widest part of the chest) then you'll also end up with tires that look over-inflated and the girls will end up looking like their suspended in space. Then there is the minimizer bra - the concept is to wear the right size and look smaller, not wear a smaller size to look minimized. If you wear a small minimizer bra, God, I don't know how you breathe!

Let's not even get into how bad an ill fitted bra is on your back and your pectoral muscles and shoulders. The straps will cut into your skin, the back strap will ride up from the additional weight on the cups and the orbs will just not fit fully into the cups, causing them to overflow. And why is it that I find more and more Indian women suffering from this syndrome? One of my acquaintances, an older Punjabi aunty was of the opinion that she was forever a 34B. NOT! Then there's the quintessential Gujrati blouse maker. These are skilled craftsmen but they invariably make the blouses a bit too tight to give the illusion of a slimmer body. But it's impossible to breathe in those blouse and the poor girls get squished in even more. Heck they even make sleeves SO tight that at the bottom of the blouse you see a big bulge of fat...you know like a balloon that was pressed on one end to make the other end stick out?

Here are some fashion facts to slim the silhouette and avoid much bulging and ballooning!

- always get a bra that fits, don't try to fit into the bra. You'll know you have the right size when nothing sticks out, when the girls don't look like they are being squished into the cups and when the edge of the cup is nestled snugly under the breast where it meets the rib cage. If the cup ends somewhere on the boob...you need bigger cups. More size guidelines on Victoria's Secret's website.

- if you are one of those women with the big jugs, PLEASE get your blouse tailors to increase the height on your blouses. If the blouse is short or regular size, eventually, it will start to ride up from the front and get nestled under the bust. Ever seen women reach under the saree to pull it down?? Yep, that's what happens when the length is not adequate...

- if you are one of those women with pre-existent tires around the waist at the back - same tip, make sure the blouse is long enough. No one's going to miss your mid-riff display. It's not sexy to see fat tires...

If your blouse is long enough that it falls below the tires, they get hidden and your resulting silhouette is straight and svelte as though you never had the tires to begin with! (Yes, you can thank me later...actually thank my mom. She's full of tips!)

- If you must wear stripes, avoid the horizontal kind like the plague they only make you look wider. I am eternally beware of horizontal stripes - I probably have one or two things with them, one of them was gifted to me!

- make dark colors your best friends they always slim the silhouette

- If you are short and would like to add some height, avoid sarees with contrast borders. The one solid color always makes you look taller

- speaking of optical illusions, if your clothes fit and are actually a little bit loose or comfortable, they will make you look slimmer

Little things go a long way in making you look more presentable. There are a few overweight people I have met in my life who are able to gracefully carry themselves by wearing the right clothes. And I plan to take some of the above advise to heart, now that I am an official mummy, I should dress the part!

Happy Babies

2010-09-03T11:39:00.004-05:00

I just read an article about raising happy children on Babycenter.com and I am happy to note that the expert advice echoes some of my personal thoughts.

Between birth and 6 months of age, no amount of molly-coddling and cossetting is going to "spoil" a child. They need attention and affection to be able to develop trust and feel safe and secure. After 6 months of age, babies develop several new skills (sitting up, pincer grip, standing, walking, crawling and generally exploring their environments). Babies are sensitive to what's in their environment and it's not always easy to pin-point what's bothering them. And while everyone likes a smiling "happy baby" it's impossible that a baby will never cry, no matter how good you are at reading cues. It's as though parents can only react - for example; the other night, A was sleepy and cranky and normally she falls asleep while being walked around the room with one night lamp on. I discovered that at this instance, she wanted to be in darkness and her distress ended when I turned the lights off. She went quiet and fell asleep within a minute or two of walking.

All parents want to make their child comfortable and happy - but many parents forget that a child needs to develop abilities to deal with negative feelings that are only a part of life. Sadness, anger, boredom, rejection etc. are some of the emotions that a child needs to "develop" ways to deal with and tackle. Just like you can't walk for your child (at some point the child will stumble, fall and learn to walk by trying again) similarly, one can't force a child to be happy by giving into every demand. I know some day I might eat my words but I hope to be stronger than to give in to every whim and whine.

A child whose every demand is met by parents and family alike, will be very ill equipped at dealing with things that don't go his/her way when they go out into the big bad world outside. Why big bad world? It starts at day-care. My princess is at the point that she wants to be held all the time and she's not willing to sit in her rocker or her gym for more than a few minutes at a time. She'll stay with company and eventually she will want to jump out of the rocker meaning "pick me up, I don't want to lay in this anymore". I know that the first few weeks at daycare will be filled with tears and whining. Why? Simply because in a class of 8 infants, chances that her highness will be held all the time are very slim!

Similarly, her sleeping habits - madam will not nap well if there's noise. But she will have to adapt to her environment, she must. And that's the point - as a parent it is our duty to help our children adapt. To help them find ways to keep themselves entertained and engaged. You don't always need a computer or a tv screen to have fun. We didn't have either growing up and I find we were better at inventing games than children these days.

So when I see a child whose every demand is met, I feel sorry for him or her. Sorry because in place of this momentary pleasure that brings a smile to the child's face, there will be bigger issues to sort through once school/college/work life are in the mix. My 2 cents anyway, not like anyone cares :)

Is there one thing baking soda cannot do?

2010-08-30T10:40:00.007-05:00

No, don't feel compelled to answer this - it's a rhetorical question coming from someone who is obviously smitten by the wonders of baking soda. Specifically, it's deoderizing and cleaning properties.

The following few are my top favorite properties...

1. Inexpensive silver polish - what? You go buy jewellry cleaners to polish tarnished silver?? (we have a lot of religious items made in silver that get easily tarnished). Bah - all you need is an aluminum tray, some boiling hot water and some baking soda. It's like a chemistry expirement unfolding in front of your eyes - almost like magic. Just line the tray with the items, throw in the baking soda and pour boiling water, watch the transformation and marvel! For tougher tarnish, even simply using it as a scouring powder on a soft sponge will accomplish the same effect. Wash well with warm water.

2. Deoderize your fridge/freezer/garbage pails - I simply keep some baking soda in a little dish and refresh every so often. No need to buy those boxes at the grocery store...this works just as well and it's the same damn thing anyway! In the garbage can, I just throw some into the new bag every week.

And last but not the least...deoderize and clean plastic baby bottles (or glass if you are so inclined)!
So flashback to the hospital (when R and I were rather sleep deprived and weren't really using our brains and following the nurses advise like gospel truth), we were instructed to use just plain old palmolive dish soap and warm water to wash the baby's bottles. Not only that, they even gave us an itty bitty bottle of the soap to use. So naturally when that ran out, we just added on to the itty bitty bottle with the dish soap we use at home for regular dishwashing a.k.a palmolive.
When MnM visited they said Aarush had developed an aversion to the lingering soap smell in his bottles and would refuse them -- which led them to use fragrance free (and supposedly non-toxic) Seventh Generation dish soap. M also recommended we make the switch even if Ahana is not showing any signs of distress.
In my mind - soap is soap is soap is soap. Seventh Generation claims to make their version with "plant derived" compounds as opposed to petroleum based compounds. Which to me means, essentially the soap is the same composition just that it's origins are different. So it's non toxic and environmentally friendly and fragrance free and all that is great - but it's still soap.
So me being me, I went and compared the ingredients on Palmolive to the ingredients on Seventh Generation and found (somewhat to my relief) that about 75% of the ingredients were the same chemical compounds. Yes, there didn't seem to be any phosphates but I don't know what phosphates can and cannot do. I am a lay person with a slightly analytical bent of mind - I don't claim to be a chemist! And I say relief because, can you imagine the thoughts going into my head - as though I am not doing right by Ah by washing her bottles in la palmolive.
I even brought it up with the Ped - she was useless (I don't like her...) and she just said, just rinse everything really well. Even for adults, we don't know how things work, so just rinse well. And if the smell bothers you switch to "organic" or Seventh Generation. OKAY then, didn't I just tell you SG is almost the same as palmolive?! Useless...
So anyway, the smell didn't bother Ah but it had been nagging me and I started thinking about alternatives to get rid of the soap smell from Ah's bottles. Bingo! Baking soda to the rescue. Not only did it get rid of the smell, it also made the bottles squeaky clean. And it's eco-friendly and harmless to boot! And natural. And easy on your skin (in fact it makes an excellent face scrub, I keep some in the shower.) And CHEAP! And it has antiseptic and disinfectant properties. And did I say cheap?? -- buy a big bag at BJs for like 5-6 bucks and it will last you a year if not more! So now I just soak her stuff in a hot water + baking soda solution, scrub and rise well. I was just so thrilled with the results I had to put them down somewhere and what better place to spread gyaan than my blog and maybe my local mommy group -- they're on the hit list next!
So there - I just babified another post :-)

Hilarious

2010-08-25T13:51:00.004-05:00

Sometimes I end up reading comments at the bottom of articles published on msnbc.com and cnn.com and often enough I find comments that make me giggle! People actually feel strongly enough to comment on the article?
Some call it biased (aren't they victims to some form of bias themselves?) some will call the commentator an "idiot".
The funniest comments though are on Youtube...some of them are just plain lunacy.

The day she rolled over...

2010-08-23T14:20:00.006-05:00

I try not to turn this into a mommy blog but this blog is about me and being a mommy has become one of my prime responsibilities. Also, being a first time parent - mundane things like rolling over take center-stage when your just about 3 month old baby has been trying to roll over for days! The saddest part is that you get a picture in an email and missed the act (of course it will happen again) but it will be the 10th or 12th time...not the first time. Come to think of it, working parents will end up missing most of their childrens' milestones. We can only be thankful for the miracle of technology and grateful to loving family members to share these accomplishments with us.

Edited to Add: Day 1 of rolling over was very frustrating. She had to work really hard at getting her left arm out from under her. Day 2 - it seemed like her full night's rest after all that work had helped. When I got home from work, she turned over without a fuss and with the ease of a pro. She even managed to mistakenly turn over again onto her back but that's a tougher skill to master and will take her some time. She got really annoyed that she couldn't do it again - it's tough being a baby!

First Quarterly Update!

2010-08-20T09:30:00.008-05:00

Ahana is 3 months old today and has had a very exciting first quarter. She has grown from a tiny little rounded ball to a tall (2 feet already) and impish baby girl. She has taken on the responsibility of being her parents' alarm clock (although she's still a little unpredictable about timing) and has exceeded expectations in terms of the number of smiles she throws at us everyday.

Ahana has even found her voice and is quite the chatterbox. Something tells me she will have the gift of the gab and will have her audience in raptures. While her baby-banter is still mono-syllabic here are the sounds we think she has nailed. ka, ga, ba, pa, ma, ha, aa, aye and of course NA! Recently she has even started trying to form longer words (stuff I cannot spell) and even the phbbbbt with her tongue sticking out!

When she's interrupted in the middle of her feeding session for a burp she lets out a long naaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh. Oh and the most important sound is that of a pig snorting...she's quite good I tell you! Very authentic.

Apparently, infants start to "laugh" much later around 5-6 months or so, but this girl has often let out little giggles and something tells me she's going to be laughing sooner than that average milestone would lead us to believe. Just like she did with her smiles - we were told babies smile purposefully around 6 weeks, not Ah, she started smiling at us at about 3.5 weeks :) No one believed us, until they witnessed her generous smiles themselves! For an infant her age at few weeks old she was incredibly interactive having full conversations with anyone who sat down to talk to her. At times she has even let out a very stoic/thoughtful "hmm" as though she fully understood and agreed with the comment!

She has days when she won't nap for more than 40 minutes and then there are days when you have to pry her eyelids open. Like today, it seems like she's catching up with her sleep from all the fun she had yesterday.

She has grown to like her gym and is now able to grab things, sometimes with both hands and bring them to her mouth. Her favorite object in her mouth other than the bottle are her fingers. She loves them, mmm, juicy!

When I look at her sometimes I am overwhelmed with the wonder I see in her expressions. She is so curious, so smitten by everything she sees. I often claim she has eyes just for her father, any time he walks past (especially when she's feeding) she'll follow him excitedly with her eyes. She even lets out silly grins while drinking her milk, just because he came to say "Hi" to her :)

Children are miraculous and I am thankful for the little miracle we have in our midst! The next quarter has a ton of other milestones to conquer. Turning over, turning from tummy to back, swallowing and possibly the transition to solid foods. I tend to get too far ahead of myself sometimes thinking about how we will help her transition but I have to stop myself at times and not let these moments pass too quickly. I already feel like I want my newborn back :)

NO- it's not time to consider a second, thank you very much!

When I look for something...

2010-08-10T09:48:00.004-05:00

...I invariably find something else! Does that happen to you? I think this happens to me almost 80% of the times I have gone looking for something. I've been looking for my bronze, flat-soled gladiator flats and I looked for them yesterday too. This morning I ended up going through some shoe boxes to see if I may have stashed it in one of them, only to find an equally cute wedge heeled beaded thong! I was so delighted to find this long forgotten pair that I decided to wear them instead of continue searching for the glads :-p (that's what 9 months of pregnancy does to you...you all but forget about the pretty shoes you had and trade them for the more stable and comfortable ballet flats). Speaking of ballet flats in my search this morning I also found my favorite mojris back from the wedding shopping days. They were gold and I didn't wear them today but I'll find my outfit to match the shoes.
May be I should look for the glads when I get home instead of looking for them while rushing to work. But then, once I get home there's this precious little thing I can't resist - looking at me with an expression that says "hey, where have you been all day?" AND "boy, am I happy to see you or am I HAPPY?"

Separation Anxiety

2010-08-04T14:31:00.005-05:00

...for me of course, not for her. She's too little to really understand or express. Yet, I couldn't hold back the tears as I hugged her, as I let her go back to "thathi's" arms and as I drove to work this morning. And somewhere deep down inside I think she understood that her mother was upset. But she maintained this stoic expression on her face, almost too mature and grown up for an infant. As if to tell me, not to cry and not to worry about her. She's in good hands and she'll be just fine (just as long as she gets her milk ;-)).
The real test for Ahana will be when day-care starts. Let's hope there will be no tears for her then. We can pray and hope, but time will tell!

Labor of Love

2010-05-20T13:21:00.008-05:00

I gave birth today and officially have become the mother of a healthy and happy baby girl who we named Ahana Shloka Rajagopalan.

I don't have much to say other than she's a miracle and the whole experience is still very surreal. Each time I look at her and her 6lbs, 9oz, 20 inch long body, I marvel at the miracle of the childbirth process. I still find it hard to believe that this person was living inside my body and I actually brought it out into this world.

Edited: I wrote this at the hospital and saved it because of it's time stamp. I wanted to make sure a post would show up on the date she was born...the rest has been work in progress.

I have been meaning to type this for a long time, each time I actually got around to it (amidst feeding, burping, napping, pooping, wash rinse repeat...not mine hers :-p) words failed me and I thought words alone cannot describe the way I feel about the birth of our first child.

I read about childbirth, went to classes, but the real deal is something no one can prepare you for. If someone tells you they were fully prepared, don't believe them (even if it's the second time around). In a way, what mom said was right "sometimes it's better to be innocent than to know too much".

The due date arrived and passed, my guess that the baby would come early was well, just that - a guess! But the signs of Ahana's arrival started on the night of the 16th of May. My worst fear had come true, that I wouldn't know if contractions had begun. I felt a mild cramping and I wasn't sure whether this was the real deal. Timing contractions was another ordeal, it was very hard to keep track of the peaks and time them accurately. On Sunday night, they were about 20-30 minutes apart. I promptly went to bed and waited for things to change. Next morning, I couldn't feel a thing! Then they came again Monday afternoon, dull and wide spaced but nothing like they show in the movies "OMG the baby is a comin'!!"
Monday night I spent agonizing hours in the night trying to time contractions - they got quite close but not close enough to warrant a trip to the hospital. Eventually, I fell asleep, lost count and the same pattern repeated - by Tuesday morning I felt nothing but the grogginess from not getting adequate sleep.

Lo and behold, Tuesday afternoon brought the same cycle back - this time around 11pm I decided to call the on-call Dr. He said wait for a couple hours and if this gets worse, just come in. I'll let the folks here know you might come in. OK then - but to my dismay (I had wanted her to come on the 19th) I fell asleep (AGAIN) and the contractions just waned.

Wednesday morning - I logged on to work - and decided I was going to call the Dr's office. They said they would see me to make sure there was no reason for concern. We prepared ourselves to have to go to the hospital. The doctor's examination revealed 90% effaced and 4cm dilated. She recommended we make our way to the hospital and I should consider getting the amniotic sac ruptured or get some Pitocin (oxytocin) to help things along.

My biggest worry was that labor would stall and once the sac is ruptured you basically have only so much time until the risks of infections passing to the fetus exponentially increase due to the lack of amniotic fluids. I remember categorically asking the doctor - how long will I have to deliver the baby once the sac is ruptured? He said the goal was to have the baby out in 24 hours. Something told me I would be done before that deadline. We went ahead with the procedure, but things didn't quite improve. I was stuck at 4cms for what seemed like an eternity.

I'll spare the rest of the gory details - in my quest for a natural birth as far as possible I survived terrible back labor (Read: PAIN) (the worst I ever felt) and overcame my fear of the IV lines. I spent about 12 hours in pain with R coaching me and providing support every step of the way. Each time I wanted to fall into a puddle and get hooked to the epidural, he said, "just one more, you can do this". The objective of labor pain is to bring the baby out but when after 12 hours of being in somewhat active labor (contractions were still erratic and about 6 mins apart) when there didn't seem to be much progress - I gave up. Even if things had moved along and I had been closer to giving birth - I knew that when the moment came I wouldn't have the energy to push the baby out and I didn't want to risk an emergency c-section had that been the case. By then I think R was tired as well and he had hoped for me to get some sleep.

So I asked for the pitocin to help things along, got the epidural as well. The rest as they say is history - Ahana was born after 2+ hours of intense pushing (imagine the worst case of constipation ever and no I didn't poop) -- but the good news was the epidural worked perfectly. No hot spots, not pain and this time around, the pushing did lead to results!

I was strangely fresh after all that work and not having eaten anything for over 18 hours. For some reason, food occured to me but simply drinking apple juice made sure I was bored enough to not think about food. The hunger just went away as the pain magnified. In the final hourse I don't remember asking even for water. After my first nursing sessions -- boy was I thirsty!

In retrospect - I could not have done this without R and my mom. In more ways than one he spent an equal amount of time in labor with me. He may not have felt the pain, but he was full of empathy for me and more imporantly, he never let me give up. I had asked him to keep my emotions in check and not go get the epidural too soon. My biggest fear was that I would get the epi and it would slow labor down enough to make it stall. He held my hand through all of it and his counting down during the pushing stage somehow added some comic relief to the gravity of the process. So imagine the nurse going ok 1,2,3,4,5,6,... and R goes 10, 9, 8,....

Mom was tickled too but she tried hard not to laugh at the procedings! This was the first time she got to witness a birth from an OB's vantage point. And just her being in the room made me feel all the more secure. It was a rite of passage for me and for her. Her daughter became a mother thereby making her grandmother! I thought I'd cry and stuff - and I did get teary eyed but there was no "boo-hoo" moment!

The attending physician congratulated me and said "you should be awarded for persistence". I didn't ask why but I understood what he was saying. Had I listened to my mom and the doctor and gotten the pitocin sooner, Ahana would likely have been born on the 19th. But I wanted to keep things as natural as possible for as long as I could bear it. Right till the very end, I got my way. In that sense, I consider myself very fortunate for being allowed to make decisions with the blessings of the physician. I made reasonable requests and I think he understood that I wanted some control over what was going to happen.

Ahana is here and now it's all about her. I saved the cord stump as the last vestige of her connection to me. Someday I'll give it to her, may be when she's old enough to understand what it is to be a mother. But that might happen only when the baton is passed and she goes through the rite of becoming a mother herself!
Until then, dear reader, sit back, relax and enjoy the ride for as far as it takes you! Ek Parvaaz has turned another leaf and life has changed!

40 weeks

2010-05-13T07:25:00.003-05:00

*rubs eyes*
We're officially "full term". Of course the baby doesn't seem to care what the words 'due date' mean! But that's ok, parenting presents a lesson in patience. And we'll wait patiently for the wee little one to arrive. So what if she's turning out to be a trouble maker before being born :-)

Hurry up and Wait!

2010-05-05T10:53:00.007-05:00

"No baby yet?" Is what people ask me almost on a daily basis now. Mostly women, since they know it could be any day now. I wish it was now. Today would be really nice, 5/5/10. But I doubt that's going to be possible now...
I know the baby will pick the date she likes best but what really has me nervous is getting induced. I don't want to go over the 40 week point and I am hoping nature will take it's course and I will not have to go through a scheduled induction.
What's worse, the cervix exam scheduled for this week. Being probed and prodded is never fun. And the words "cervix exam" don't exactly sound like a relaxing massage or anything (no not down there, silly! I mean in general...).
So anyhoo...we hurry up and wait to hold this baby we've been expecting for almost 39 weeks now...patience wears thin and the arms are just very eager to hold the little bundle and take in all the babiness!

The OB/GYN

2010-04-29T14:27:00.005-05:00

This is just an observation, I find in my experience (having met 3 female and 2 male Ob/Gyns) that the male members of the fraternity seem a lot nicer and gentler than the female kind! It's like the females (especially the ones that are mothers) are harder on you than they need to be. From bedside manner to their responses to your inane questions!
Sure, they probably are bored with first time moms (FTMs) asking random questions and fussing over themselves, but seriously, didn't you go through this when you were an FTM?

It's a simple case, I think, of knowing what is next, of making the FTM stronger and having her expect the real pains of child birth. Also, they see myriad cases, from the easy breezy to the downright horrifying, everything that could go wrong, will go wrong type. So when they come across the average Jane who is fussing over some pelvic pain and the discomfort of finding a comfortable spot at night, it's almost natural for them to roll their eyes!
Male OBs on the other hand have never experienced, first hand, the physicality of pregnancy. They may understand or observe, but they cannot, have not, will never, feel the pains of pregnancy.
Last week, I was telling the OB (male) that I am concerned I won't know what labor will feel like above all the other aches and pains I feel. He reassured me, saying I'll know. He made this funny little motion of holding his belly and said "you'll be 'WHOA' let me sit down for a second..."
While I kinda sorta got what he was saying, imagining a man going through the rigors of pregnancy and child birth are just so alien! It was almost comical what he did...but I took his word for it. Hopefully, I will know when labor strikes (or not, it will be nice to be blissfully unaware of what's going on...) and hopefully, it will be soon now!

Why I love Chandra Wilson

2010-04-26T17:15:00.006-05:00

I must have said this before, I like watching medical dramas (I think it started with Chicago Hope when I was a teenager...) and Grey's Anatomy happens to be one of them.

Chandra Wilson plays the character of Dr. Bailey.

And the reason to love her is because she clearly has the best lines and does so with perfect timing so there's a hint of comical while she keeps her poker face on. Usually, it's when she's reprimanding someone or giving them a lecture of some sort.

So the other night I was watching an old episode and Dr. Weber (Chief of Surgery) tells her accusingly that she's scouting for other jobs. She's looking to leave and she's looking at bonuses and pay packages at other hospitals. In her response, she puts on a serious face and says "You ignorant fool! I am pregnant. I am burning 3000 calories, I am tired and my legs are swollen. I am carrying a boy. Did you know that you burn 10% more calories with boys as opposed to carrying a girl? Right from the start, men just suck the life out of you".

And Dr. Weber says "err, congratulations!"

It was just so hysterical to see her go on her rant that I had to hold my belly to laugh. Yes, even laughing is uncomfortable now :)

Scatterbrained, Butterfingered...

2010-04-26T14:23:00.003-05:00

I feel as though I have a lot that I thought about writing but my memory fails me. I can't remember what it was that intrigued me and what I wrote a mini post about in my head (or what's left of it.)
All you ladies out there, believe it or not, nothing makes you appreciate your own mothers more like pregnancy. And my mom has made it a point to ask me every now and then "now you know what mother's have to go through?". Yes, rub it in mom! A colleague of mine at work relies on Post-It notes to keep some semblance of order. Good for 3M, she keeps their business going! I don't know what I will eventually resort to, currently, I either conveniently forget, or wait for R to remind me. And he must notice too, that I have very little comprehension capacity for some very complex discussions beyond the 2 pm point in the day. Around 4.30 pm I feel as though I have been hit by a bus and will barely survive the 15 minute ride home.
Last weekend at Babies-R-Us, we were buying baby bottles. First we picked a big gift set, then R did some mental math and tried very hard to explain to me that it was going to be the same price to get things out of the box. I don't think I had the brain juice left to do the math myself, I just agreed with him and let it go. As long as I had everything I thought I needed, I really didn't care about the math!
I consider myself very lucky to not have gained obscene amounts of weight, to not have swollen feet, no swollen fingers nothing but a baby hanging out. But inspite of that, I am clumsier than ever and I drop several things EVERYDAY. For instance, I drop my keys (at least once a day). Because my belly sticks out, I don't quite sit close enough to the table so food almost always spills (it's like watching a toddler eat sometimes...poor R!). I drop while cooking and then bending down is a huge production. I cringe like an old woman, in fact I probably make old women look super strong! Our staircase is about 16 steps...by 8 or 10 I am puffing like I ran a marathon.
Some days are better though, I feel like I can sprint up the stairs, walk really fast and people at work tease me because they think I am not waddling well enough.
Oh well, waddle or no waddle, we're past the 37 week marker and it's just Hurry up and Wait for us. We still are not a 100% ready...but we'll get there. And I have a feeling this baby's going to come late just because everyone wants her to not be late. Just a feeling, if she knows mama typed this then may be she'll want to come a little early ;-) (There, we're trying our hand at reverse psychology in-utero!).

How time flies and a Happy Birthday!

2010-03-12T13:59:00.006-05:00

It doesn't feel like long ago that MnM told us they were expecting. Then the ultrasound pictures followed and then the decision to deliver on March 12, 2009. No, it doesn't seem very long ago at all that there was a tiny little baby we held in the middle of the night of May 20, 2009. He was asleep, quite unperturbed by the people talking around him as long as there was a warm body to stay close to.
It doesn't seem like a long time, but it has been a year since this baby came into our lives. And we didn't imagine we'd go 11 months before we got to see our cute little nephew again, in person!

We hope the day is fun and as exciting as it can be for a one year old! There are lots of things to do, new milestones to meet and generally have a ball while everyone else does the work!
So live it up, little boy, eat your cake, wear it too, make a mess and have fun while you leap to two!
xoxoxo
GnR

The Weighted Average

2010-03-10T16:09:00.004-05:00

So you can tell I took some Stats classes in college! So smart!
It's just a corny title for what I am going to write about, yes my weight! The one thing that most women obsess about and are compulsively trying to change. The one number that is never satisfactory, whether you want more or less...

I don't know if most women have a mental image of what they would look like when they are pregnant. I know I did, it was mostly based on the way I looked during "that time of the month" and honestly I pictured myself to be, to put it politely, fat and bloated.

I was telling R's cousin the other day, the one thing that happens when you become pregnant (or at least that happened to me) is the constant urge to worry. Am I OK, is the baby OK? Am I eating right? Do I get enough protein...jeez I skipped my milk today...etc. And then of course, you're reading all these articles and books about pregnancy and what's considered normal and you start acting like a hypochondriac and imagine the worst possible fate for yourself and your pregnancy.

When it came to pass that at the 20 week point (after the full anatomy scan) I had not gained weight from the point at which I began, panic and fear struck. For the first time in my life post age 23, I wanted to gain weight and I wasn't. I ate as much/as best as I could and anyone I talked to said, that's ok, it's a good thing if you're not gaining weight! Well but the books say I need to gain a lb a week...what about that statistic?
Towards the end of the trip to India, I got on the weighing scale and saw that the number was the same. In fact, I had started at a higher point, lost 7 lbs and my net weight gain was in the negative single digits. I had tears in my eyes and all I could do was be reassured by the strong kicking I felt in my abdomen. On some days I looked more pregnant than others, on some days I fit into my pre-preggo capri pants! All I could do was wait to return and go to the next visit.

The doctors reassured, they measured the fundal height and said things were OK. And finally, now that we're at almost 31 weeks, I feel like the spot that needs to grow is growing alright and maybe, just may be, what I am doing is probably enough.

Being on a 9 month diet/regimen is not easy. What when you start craving salty snacks and want just the perfect fries with ketchup, you have to step outside of yourself and think about a person you can only feel. My image of me being pregnant is so drastically different from what I had imagined, I am almost tempted to go on a hogging spree. In fact there are times when I feel I have seriously over eaten. Let's hope all of it is going to the baby, or I will soon be writing about how I want to lose weight and cannot! Yes, the grass is always greener on the other side and like one of the Drs said, "some women eat only carrots and gain 50lbs, some eat everything and don't gain much at all..."
Every time R sees me stepping on the scale he comes up with some outrageous number 190, 250 etc. I think it's his way of telling me to stop obsessing...and I have, but I still like to get up there and see how much the baby's gained ;-)
I guess the reassurance I get is the fact that I cannot look past my belly anymore!

A simple breakfast that goes a long way

2010-03-03T11:06:00.005-05:00

Remember Bonny Mix? This porridge sold in a tin in India, just add hot water or milk and a slurry was ready in minutes? I was always the child who wanted the latest of everything. The newest toothpaste, the newest soap, the newest breakfast. And Bonny Mix was something I BEGGED for. We got one tin, I ate precisely 2 spoons and never touched it again. Eventually, mom finished it, grudgingly.

Speaking of porridge, there's a cracked wheat porridge my mom made (daliya/lapsi) that I enjoy to this day and have also managed to get R to eat it. He's sweet that way, he'll eat anything that tastes sweet.

Like any other hand me down recipe, there's a bunch of different ways to do this.

Some people fry the wheat in butter or ghee, then add milk/water with some form of sweetener and cook it till tender.

I learnt the shortcut from the mater - cook the wheat with at least twice or plenty of water (beware of sprays) in a pressure cooker for 1 whistle and let it simmer for about 10 mins. Open the pressure cooker and add the sweetener of choice (I added some jaggery and added some maple syrup when serving with Milk). Saffron added when boiling gives it a beautiful golden color and a mild fragrance.
I think the maple syrup adds this woodsy, aromatic "zing" that cannot be replicated with another sweetener. I *heart* maple syrup!
This concoction stays well for about a week (ours doesn't last that long) and I make a cup of uncooked cracked wheat at a time.
Wheat is naturally high in fiber, Vitamin B complex, protein and is an excellent source of Folic acid as well. Some things can be good and good for you ;-)
NB: wheat tends to absorb a LOT of water, so when you open your pressure cooker and find a mass of wheat glue...fear not. Just add some more water, blend well to make devoid of lumps and voila! If you put this in the fridge, you'll find the same thing happens. Water gets absorbed, hence the addition of the milk when serving.

28 weeks: We're now in the home stretch!

2010-02-19T14:12:00.005-05:00

12 weeks remain...*Shudder*

While some people are super organized and would have taken care of everything from assembling a crib to painting a room, we seem like their anti-thesis. Not only have we not painted any room in the house (we don't intend on having a "baby room") we haven't even thought about cribs, strollers and the likes. OK, I take it back, we've thought about them, only because we know we'll need them. But we haven't done anything about it.

I guess you could say we work better under pressure! (No pun intended).

Speaking of pressure, everyone knows labor and delivery promise to be no easy feat. What I find terribly shocking is that no one tells you (NO ONE) how bad it is until you actually go through it. Friends, family, who are going through it will only respond "yes, everything is fine". But no one will say, each time you turn in bed, it HURTS in addition to being uncomfortable. You randomly feel pain in your groin/lower abdomen due to ligament stretching, the baby WILL at some point snugly stick their feet under your ribs and pretty much, life will be very uncomfortable. Simple things like wearing underpants will become a ritual/chore (yes, I suppose one could do without them too). You will miss having a shower, like a real good shower.
But there's an upside to pregnancy too...the baby moving, glowing skin, no hairfall (even when you shampoo...) resulting in a rather clean bathroom floor, people wanting to help you, asking you how you're feeling, the list does go on. I guess there's a bigger reward at the end of the process so we all suck it up and waddle along the way!
We soon need to pull up our socks and figure what we need to get and get rolling on that front. Once the baby comes it's going to be, pretty much, chaos, but a good chaos!!
Sigh...

What do you imagine...

2010-02-11T09:34:00.003-05:00

...is the first thing the husband says to me in the morning?
1. Good morning
2. I love you (ok, that's never happened, first thing in the morning)
3. "bhook lagee?" (Are you hungry?)

No prizes for guessing :)

Guess who's coming to see GnR

2010-02-05T13:39:00.004-05:00

We met him last May when he was a wee little bundle that would fall asleep on your chest if you let him, because he liked to be warm. The wee little bundle has grown (kala teeka) to a talkative and mischevious little personality. Yes, I'm talking about our nephew, Aarush!
Over the past 10+ months, we've seen him mostly via webcam, babbled to him over the phone and see numerous pictures of him courtesy MnM; who did a great job including so many of us and sharing his growth. From a toothless lop sided smile, to the full, bright and impish grin with tiny pearls that threaten to be quite dangerous, we've seen it all.
Excitement is rife and GnR almost can't wait to hold him, hug him, chase him around and play with him. We're also equally anxious. R thinks he will warm up to me faster than he will to R...I had the exact but opposite thoughts. That he'll be more pally with R than with me, since R is genetically more similar than I am!!
But of course, if he's already into pretty young ladies then R can't blame him for warming up to me ;-)
At the last prenatal visit, I mentioned him to the doctor and asked her if it was ok for me to pick him up considering he's not that little anymore. And she said yes!! So I am glad, I won't be left out with all the playing etc.
What's even more exciting is that the day MnMnA get here is his 11 month birthday!! So we'll have a little jig in order to celebrate it, it will be the first such celebration we will be able to partake in since the first birthday plans are not set in stone yet. I may not be allowed to travel at the time since I am already at 26 weeks today!
But we'll have to take it slow, we don't want to shock him with a new place, new surroundings, new people (hopefully the voice is recognizably familiar to him and he won't dart in the opposite direction from both of us in search of his parents) and we'll likely have to let him warm up to us.
We're also not really looking to share time with him with anyone :-p we're seeing him after almost one year and we'd like to make the most of it. Call us selfish, we don't care HA!!

As for the 26 week update...the little one is quite the explorer. I feel her nudging in new spots...the latest is right under my right rib. It's like they show in the animated films...I swallowed someone whole and she's fighting me from the inside trying to get out :-D
I just have to pat her and remind her...it's not time yet. We have 14 weeks to go...
Incidentally, 26 weeks is exactly half of 52 weeks which is one year. So I have been preggers now for half a year!

Going from 2 to 3

2010-01-28T11:25:00.006-05:00

It's been 3 years today since the day we tied the knot. Sometimes I feel as though it's been much longer and at other times the memories are as fresh as if it were yesterday!

Sometimes I feel lucky that I found someone as precious as R at other times I wonder what I was thinking, when I said yes to that question he popped written on snow in a very romantic, Shakespearean way!

We've been through ups and downs and I am thankful that the downs have never been so deep that we haven't been able to clamber out of them. I don't know if being in love mellows people down, they set aside their impressions, opinions and put "us" before "me".

Life has offered a lot over the past 3 years that I (we are) am thankful for. We have love, we have a house, mostly secure jobs, loving parents and siblings and I don't think one could ask for more. We've traveled to exotic and exciting places, met people, had our share of adventures and it's been a great ride! Sure we still have things on our to-d0 list but we have a long road ahead...

And after three years of our marriage, I am proud to announce that we are indeed going from 2 to 3 :) not just figuratively but literally! All this time it was about the two of us and now it's about this wee little person who already has a big personality and lets me know in no uncertain terms that I need to move over, or get up and eat, or slow down and watch my step. Where once every move felt like a flutter, now its a definite nudge or a tap.

2010 is going to be a special year. Not only does it mark 3 years since our wedding, but this year we complete 10 years since we started "seeing" each other. No wonder it feels like I've known R forever!! But there are still things I find and discover about him and it may not always be good but it's mostly good; so something tells me I chose well!
I hope our life continues to be an enriching experience and that we handle parenthood with grace and patience, after all they say, raising a child is one of the most important things you will ever do. We're shaping the future together and I hope we do a good job!

Happy Anniversary sweetheart :-)

Has it really been THIS long?

2009-10-14T18:39:00.004-05:00

I don't know if this can be called a hiatus? More like a sabbatical actually but I come to this page and the fingers don't know what to type!

Well now that I have more than a few things to report and talk about here we go...the fingers run like knife in butter.

Mommy being in town meant she was constantly webbed to the WWW and hence why I have been fairly away from the blog. She's now visiting the sibling and I do miss her. It's funny though, us both have a tempestuous relationship. Can't live with the other, can't live without. It's ok though, I am being a drama queen. Moms are moms after all, they bug you for a reason. And who else would, if they didn't??

R actually picked up tricks on emotional blackmail from her...not a fact I am proud to announce!

WE WENT TO THE U2 360 CONCERT AND IT WAS AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!!!

We haven't seen a stage performance like that ever. PERIOD. The stage, the technical production values, the songs, the band, BONO of course, it all rocked like nothing has ever Rocked Raleigh before. It was totally worth the $200 odd we spent on the tickets - we were about 8 rows up from the spot where the standing crowd ended. Of course, we weren't seated for too long after they came on stage :-p

The crowds sang half of "still haven't found what I'm lookin for" and it was in sync, no kidding!

SIGH - I wish they performed every weekend...that was FUN!

In other news, Diwali this year is turning out to be quite lackluster in the GnR household. Cleaning is far from done, the lights are up and the diyas are ready to be lit and that might be considered saving grace. I don't know if I'll muster energy at the last minute to make something sweet and savory. At least the last three Diwalis I made sweets. Karanji the first year, Besan ke laddoo the next and last Diwali I actually made a feast for 30 people.

I'm craving chaklis, but I don't have the heart to deep fry and I may just try some baked version if I find a suitable recipe. Otherwise, there's a new Rajbhog store in town and I'd just pick up some mithai from there to make up for the lost enthusiasm in GG's kitchen!

This Diwali however, we have not one, not two but THREE parties to attend. Who knew?! Meeting with everyone will surely make up for the lack of hustle bustle at the house! Dhanteras is Friday and I need to decide to buy something metallic (precious metals are welcome but I don't know that the budget permits) so maybe a new pot/pan/some trinket for the home is in store.

Sarees and their respective blouses were brought out last weekend itself, seeing as one of the invites is for Friday night. Kanjivaram the first day (I need more kanjivarams, I never thought I'd hear myself say that) a black Paithani on Saturday (that's brand new) OR pure crepe embroidered sari from the engagement. Depending on what's more likely to endure the two parties (and food stains, yes I am a klutz!)

It's nice to be able to fit into blouses from 3 years ago. Some of the muscle tone is gone from the pre-wedding days but not enough to make any ugly bulges in the back. PHEW!!

I sorely miss India during Diwali. The days turn shorter, it's REALLY cold all of a sudden and believe it or not I even miss the smell of burnt fire crackers (I know...eww). But nothing speaks festive like streets lined with kandil vendors, rangoli colors and diyas in all shapes, colors and sizes, buying jewelry on Dhanteras and shopping for new clothes. This year Diwali being so early, there's no Holiday lighting to brighten up the mood either. At least when it's in late October or November, the holiday season has started and people around here do light up their homes!

Well, well...enough ranting for me. This year is no different from the last. Diwali will be just another day spent with friends trying to make up for the lack of being in the homeland, trying to recreate the spirit and festivities, trying to recreate home!

Random updates

2009-08-06T11:44:00.004-05:00

I have been here and there. Often visiting this page wondering if I have something to write. Turns out, I didn't have much to write afterall.

- I have been putting off a pedicure for months. Even a self - pedicure (foot scrubbing in the shower is also down to an all time low). I blame it on the weather...I think I get annoyed with the heat and with all the maintenance a human body takes and let it go down the drain till I can't stand it any longer. I'm getting there...soon!

-While we're still on the beauty topic, did I mention I needed a facial and a brow makeover too? The brows have been suffering too...given my overall disinterest to look after the body phase. One of the girlfriends did pass on the contact info for an Indian lady who operates out of her home and offers promising facials. I'm nervous about facials in this country. My first Summer in NC (would you believe this is my third??? It's the longest I have stayed in any state in the past 7 years :) ) I went to a Spa voted as the best in the area and spent 100 (wtf) bucks on a facial. The ambience was great but the beautician was watching the clock the whole time. And she put me in a wrap that was supposed to heat up (did I mention how I cannot stand being in a hot pocket?). So while I came out glowing, I was not happy. Is there anybody that will deal with all the blackheads and not complain about spending more than 50 mins doing their job? So...the new chick will get a try. At 1/4 the cost I am willing to get 4 facials done if need be to get those suckers out!

So all this time, while I am going from grunge to grungier, the husband is busy taking his 31st year of life to a whole new level (yes, he turned a page on 30, but he still looks like a school kid. Maybe in my eyes he'll remain twenty for life!) . He has a boot camp class at the gym he attends religiously and is constantly showing off his abs, while I can only show off tires and flab and the occassional tricep that's soon going to fade into oblivion. Note to self: Look into purchasing loose weights (yeah, nice pun, no?). Atleast while warming the couch one can tone some muscles...

- Shopping for mom is fun! Especially, when she'll wear what you got and be all praise. Yes, mommy's a visiting. Thanks to her I get to eat chapatis everyday (although they are the huge north indian style two fold rotis) and can hope to lose a few pounds having reduced rice to an occassional meal or a small side. Mom's actually more serious about her weight than I am...tsk tsk...the young these days.

- I have realized after two consecutive Saturdays of late nights (wrapping up 2 am or later in bed by 3) that I cannot handle them when they come back to back like this. I need a break. Our Saturdays are increasingly spent mostly outside browsing stores and what not pushing chores out to Sunday. If there's alcohol on Saturday nights, Sundays are so much worse. I feel drained, dehydrated but I can't not do my chores. So by the time evening comes I feel like I need to hit the sack. This Sunday night I tucked myself in at 10, read the Kite Runner until 10.30 and promptly fell asleep. For a change, Monday morning was refreshing (of course I woke up at 7.45...) Getting old! Sigh...

- I am truly convinced we will never find bedroom furniture. NEVER. EVER. We look around, look around some more but we're never convinced. For a change I like something but the sticker shock won't losen it's grip. Then we wonder if it's worth spending upwards of 3K for matching bedroom furniture and we won't succumb to the Ikeas of the world either. GAAAHHHHH - Watched the hysterical wedding march video? No? I'm sure if you searched for wedding dance on youtube you'd find it. It's worth a laugh!

- I want to be able to take off every weekend. Just hop in the car and go somewhere fun. We tend to take our chores too seriously and eat at home too much (I am sure someone will disagree).

- Did I share my newfound love for Walmart? Walmart and I have had an on again off again relationship. While I am not the one to be buying clothes and shoes from walmart (call me brand conscious, pseudo, whatever...Walmart does not cater to my needs, I'd rather go to Macys and find me bargains from their clearance racks, thank you very much!) and I hated going there on weekends due to the HUMONGOUS lines, there's a spanking new walmart near work, they keep veggies too and it's the perfect stop for grocery shopping after work. What's more, they are really a few cents cheaper than any other store on the block! So, until this new Walmart starts to lose its sparkle and shine, the relationship is ON!

That's all I have for now...

The Human Touch

2009-06-22T21:20:00.005-05:00

This weekend on the official day 1 of summer, the mercury hit 100 degrees in our part of the world. We didn't have major plans, but a trip to the mall was due (Macy's had their one day sale...yes yet again!). So we finished our business at Macy's and paid Potterybarn a routine visit (for all the modern cleaned line look R and I prefer, it sometimes amazes me that I can spend so much time at PB!). Anyhoo, we browsed the clearance rack (lest I find some more pure silk drapes in the perfect size), didn't find anything and started to head out the store.

So we're stepping out but there's a lot of people walking right outside the store front (the corridor in between the stores on either side of the mall) and we're waiting to step into a gap.

A young girl/woman is walking by with a man...and she has her hand up as if she's waving to R and I standing right outside the store. I smiled back, R waved and said Hi!

The girl caught R's hand and stopped in her tracks. When she stopped one could tell something was not quite right with the girl, she didn't say anything but she leaned forward to peck R on his cheek. First one, then the other, while the guy she was accompanied by was trying to get her to let go. He seemed somewhat embarrassed, we were both watching this unfold. And that was not quite the end of it. She reached up and hugged R!! And she just would not let go...

She still didn't say anything, not sure if she could or knew how to. But you could tell she was not quite normal (and I hate saying that because she just might be free spirited and might be perfectly normal. Anyway, we don't see strangers doing things like this...so it was definitely out of the ordinary.)

So anyway, her friend finally managed to separate them, all R could do was wait until she was done sharing her affections. At some point I think I was moved to tears (no, not because an unknown girl was hugging my husband and you think I was upset) but more because this was something so simple and basic. The girl probably was happy that someone responded to her gesture and was being as goofy as she was. There was a childlike quality to her and she did what a little child looking for attention would do!

I will never forget her face. She's locked in my memory forever...

It's funny, I'm sure there will be a lot of sneaky comments on this one, but R was super embarrassed after the whole thing. He didn't know how that happened or why and when I told him about this post he was shaking his head in the most disapproving way!

Well honey, I did it anyway because to me it seemed like she was saying thanks for humoring her, for letting her be herself, goofy and silly. Most of all, it was like her saying thanks for not letting the child in you get lost! And that's the one quality I hope you never, ever lose.

Awww... :)

This actually moved me to tears!

2009-06-17T10:45:00.003-05:00

Sometimes, I get overwhelmed when I read or hear about an act of honesty or kindness. Like this news item on mumbaimirror - http://mumbaimirror.com/article/2/2009061720090617043914133c09a1ced/Auto-driver-saves-the-day-for-bride-returns-lost-jewellery.html

It's about a family that left behind a bag of jewelry in an auto-rickshaw, en route to the venue for their daughter's wedding. The driver noticed the bag later and rushed back to the venue to hand it over to the much distressed family. We all know what it means for a girl's family to get the daughter married. We all understand the role jewelry has to play in all of this, not just from a dowry perspective but also from the "stree dhan" point of view.

People from rich families would be distressed by something of this sort happening to them, imagine the plight of the less fortunate.

Kudos to the rickshaw driver, may his act of righteousness and goodwill bring hope to jaded souls like mine.

No wonder, reading something like this moves me because although it is the right thing to be done, somewhere inside I am so jaded that I have become a non-believer? HMMM food for thought!

Not so Shiney after all?

2009-06-10T18:59:00.009-05:00

I shall be the first to admit - I liked Shiney Ahuja's "on the edge" performances. But his latest fiasco churns my stomach and makes me sick!

It's when the rich and illustrious expose their underbellies, that we get to know the harsh realities that face us. He's supposed to be in custody until June 18 for his heinous crime that he claims was consentual. We'll find out more as the story unfolds, but I am just totally disappointed. Shame on you, Shiney!

Edited to Add: I had opened a new post but never quite wrote it. don't go by the date on this one - I had no clue about this until Sunday night (6/14) when R announced what he read on Mid-day.

When to love is to let go...

2009-05-19T09:39:00.005-05:00

Loving and losing are a part of life. There are several famous quotes I could rattle off on the topic and often they seem awfully cliché. Some might even call them philosophical, but when you go through those emotions and come out wiser and older, you know they hold true.

A dear family member has been having a tough time grappling with the changes in his life. After years of being in a relationship, complacency sets in and anything that is different from the “old normal” is abnormal. Me being older (ahem! And wiser…) I had to give him sound advice and put his fears to rest. Having been through some of those emotions myself, the attempt at putting him to ease helped me take a step back and re-evaluate my own experiences.

Many moons ago, R had asked me to read a famous book called “who moved my cheese”. I have seen the book on various bookshelves through my growing years. But it never moved me enough to want to read it. When R recommended it, we were having our own set of issues and I was adamant I wouldn’t read it because I feared it would somehow prove him right.

We moved on and have been happily married for over two years. In retrospect, it all seems so childish. It is freaky how different life is when you’re 23 versus when you’re 27. R’s older brother had once made a comment, “you both have to grow up together…” I keep those words close to my heart. And through the years I have reminded myself that nobody said this was going to be easy.

Growing up is tough, being in love is tough and life is not a bed of roses. You don’t always get what you want and sometimes you have to put ‘us’ before you think about ‘I’. I am not trying to say that life is all serious and no fun. But you have to put things in perspective. Change is the only constant, times change, people change, life changes. To imagine your life will always stay the same is, well…romantic!

And this I find true not only of romantic relationships but when you share a close bond with another person, this is true. When you are closely bound, you have certain expectations. Expectations lead to let downs, let downs lead to heartache. Relationships have to be worked on. Anything that grows, need nurturing and care. Most of all, you need space. Space to grow, space to think.

Being in love is not all about having rose tinted glasses on and saying "I love you" every few hours of the day. The real test of love is in the hardships. It is not how well you do when times are good, it's how you perform when times are bad that matters. Every relationship reaches a stage where the going gets tough. The ones that adapt and press on to make it through, eventually come out stronger. Those that find it too hard to move on and cling on too tightly to the past, often will turn so brittle that they will eventually break under pressure.

It's like that old proverb, when you love someone, let them go. If they love you, they'll come right back?

Things have changed for the better for my family members. And I hope that they understand and are wiser by their own experience that it's important to keep things in perspective and adapt to changes in your life.

So let one of your grudges or peeves go today. You'll come through feeling a lot less burdened by the baggage of your expectations.

my favorite verse...

2009-04-30T14:39:00.003-05:00

woh ek khushboo aati thi

woh ek khushboo aati thi..

main bhatakta jaata tha

reshmisi maya thi

aur main takta rehta tha

jab teri galli aaya

sach tabhi nazar aaya

mujhmein hi woh khushboo thi

jis se tune milwaya, aa

maula, maula, maula mere maula

Maula Maula from Delhi 6 - Lyrics: Prasoon Joshi

Ityadi, Ityadi, Ityadi

2009-04-23T11:53:00.004-05:00

Etc. Etc. Etc.
There are many names for a vagina. Ever heard of the Vagina Monologues? No, well get the gist of what it is/was at Wikipedia. I was reading Mid-Day and came across this video, a bunch of theatre actors rehearsing for the Marathi adaptation of the original Eve Ensler series at Ravindra Natya Mandir at Prabhadevi, Bombay. I watched it and for all those (girls) of you that understand Marathi, I thought this would be worth sharing. It's actually funny and some of what the women say is actually true :)

We're so accustomed to keeping our privates err...private that we're almost ashamed of referring to them as Vaginas. We all have different names associated with it...pee pee, vajayjay, or worse and more derogatory. But that the center of a woman's being is repressed is an understatement. I hope to catch the broadway series some day. I can't say that I will not burst into girlish giggles when I hear some of the monologues but I am sure it will be as much fun and liberating as a pedicure with girlfriends, or a gossip session on the phone!

Watch and enjoy this rehearsal video if you understand Marathi.

The one in which GG was TOTALLY and UTTERLY Surprised!!

2009-04-17T11:16:00.007-05:00

Picture this: GG is at work, they're carpooling today so she's waiting for R to pick her up. It's way past the usual get home hour and she waits while listening to unkind rumbling sounds from the stomach, indicating her blood sugar levels are low and she needs FOOD!!

6.30pm...R calls says he's waiting outside. So she packs up and walks out...R has the car turned, ready to pull out and as she opens the front door she sees a white box in a clear bag occupying her seat in the front.

"What is this?" she asks...annoyed that it's late, she's hungry and now she must move this unsightly box to sit her butt down and go home.

"Happy Birthday!" he says...

"hain?? But it's not my birthday...what is this???"

"Take a look"...he says

So she picks it up, sits down and he starts to drive. She looks at the box where a the picture of a laptop is drawn and it says MACBOOK in large bold letters and her jaw hits the ground!

"Did you win this?" _ R's company has these wild giveaways, and economy notwithstanding she thought this might actually be a windfall!

"No, he says it's your birthday present"

And she's baffled. It's not my bday, what about the new phone, the other gifts? What was that...

"well that was for previous year's"

Low blood sugar obviously doesn't make for a normally bright GG. Reality finally dawned on her that R had meticulously "hid" this development from her. She asked him how he pulled it off?
"How come I didn't know??"

"Because M* went and picked it up..." he says,

"Ah...no wonder! But why did you have to give him the runaround? They're busy with the baby and parents etc..."

"The deal was in that particular store in CA"...he says

"ah, well then I must thank him"

"I think M* picked it up and M** shipped it, so looks like it went through everyone"...

"Ah...then it's time to thank both of them!"

M** was duly called and thanked for having a hand in this fantastic surprise! She sweetly gave the credit to R&M*...the two brothers did most of the work!

OK well...suffice to say that GG sounded like a school girl, giggling and squealing in delight. The timing couldn't have been better...

Our home laptops are kind of obsolete...err one is downright broken, the other is slow and battered and we needed a computer for our pictures, music and other important information. I'd been asking R to buy one, whether it was a Dell/HP I couldn't care less!! So one can imagine the shock value of getting something that is so sweet! My one criteria was that it have all the features and still be somewhat light. So kudos to R, he's been taking in all my feedback, scouting for deals and finally with the help of his partner in crime I get the perfectly timed gift!!

I said my thank yous already...but I think the glee in my voice, the grin on my face and the twinkle in the eye might have been the most gratifying sight for R :-)

Now I need to name it...and I'm thinking of calling it Albus McBook.

R was suggesting species of Apples...my favorite kind are Fuji. But Fuji MacBook sounded weird...

Then I said maybe a Harry Potter inspired name would work...

Nimbus 2009 was a forerunner...

Dumbledore, Penseive...I was thinking of anything with a white attached. And then as I looked at the screen below which it says MacBook I said...this guy already has a last name...so I just need a first name!

Albus was perfect because Albus is latin for White :)

So, dear reader...Albus will be my new associate in maintaining this space and publishing new posts. Welcome Albus to Gg's gizmo gang!

* - Mo of MnM fame, R's older brother

** - Me of MnM fame, Mo's wife and Aarush's Momma!

Family Recipes - Seyal Bread

2009-04-13T16:16:00.005-05:00

This one is for Mrs. MMR - she has mentioned a few times that she likes this dish and it reminds her of her school friend who shared her tiffin with her :-)

Seyal in Sindhi means cooked, this is most often a breakfast item.

A few disclaimers:
There are a bunch of recipes out on the internet and they are all unique. Every family has their twist, their method. This is my grandmom's, Moms, Masi's and my way (!!) all mixed together.

There are two ways they made it - green masala and tomato masala. When I was a kid I preferred red to green...now I like the green more but with a heady dose of tomatoes (I think that's my masi's way).

Tips:
-In my family we make this with slightly dry bread, it stands up better to the cooking process while still getting gooey enough to devour.
- You need not blend the masala to a very fine paste really. You just want everything somewhat disintegrated so you don't bite into chunks of garlic/chilies.

Ingredients:
- any left over white bread, roughly broken down to large chunks. If the bread is sliced don't mess with it :-) Health freaks could use brown bread...but I have no clue how it will taste. Chances are NOT good - because brown/whole grain bread tends to have a sweeter taste. You need a salty bread for this...! The Quantity depends on the gravy you make. I'd use an entire baguette or 3/4 th loaf of sliced white bread for the proportion below.

- a big bunch of fresh coriander leaves

- 4-5 cloves of garlic (you can very this to your taste...but it is what makes this dish)

- green chilies - again, to your taste

- salt, to taste, turmeric a couple pinches, coriander powder 1tbsp

- 1 large or 2 small ripe tomatoes OR tamarind pulp, squeezed from a lime sized ball of tamarind soaked in water

- Water 1/2 cup or more (if you're not using tamarind)

- oil 2 tbsps

Method:

1. grind/blend/food process together: everything but the turmeric (it stains the jars/blades) and tomatoes/tamarind juice. Don't add too much water...it will kill the taste. This masala needs to be fried, if you add too much water, the frying will not be effective.

2. heat oil in a wok/kadhai, add this mixture and fry well on medium-high heat. Add the turmeric. Lower the heat to medium...you should still hear a constant hiss...If you don't fry this enough, you risk tasting raw garlic and that's not good for anybody's taste buds.

3. You'll know it's done when the mixture sticks to the bottom of the pan and turns a darker shade uniformly and the smell of raw garlic is gone.

4. at this point, add finely chopped tomatoes or pulse them gently in your FP.

5. raise the heat...add some salt if you think you're going to need some. Remember you put some already in the masala. Let the tomatoes cook thoroughly till soft and pulpy.

6. when the oil separates and the mixture looks like a good paste, add the water (enough to make this look like a gravy, add too much and it's going to taste runny) and bring to a boil. Taste. Adjust seasonings. When this mixture bubbles (it will splutter, be careful) start adding the bread. Add as much bread as you think this mixture will soak. A little bit of water will help everything combine. Cover and let the bread take in the flavors on low heat. Stir a couple times...

Serve hot for breakfast!

More tips: You could use both tamarind and tomatoes. Just lesser of the tamarind if you're using tomatoes and lesser water and tomatoes obviously if you use tamarind water. Sometimes I like it really sour (depending on the mood...) The tamarind water will also need to boil some to be cooked.

Some people will use left over chapatis - I don't like the taste!

The tomato masala involves onions cooked to translucent, garlic etc.

Disclaimer: This has been a tough one to write because I haven't made it in AGES. I ate it at masi's but she employed an interesting approach. She had some leftover green masala from another dish, she fried it on a griddle in some oil, used a couple of slices of bread to mop it up then added sliced tomatoes and basically cooked them through. It still tasted just as good...just a quick shortcut if it's not a ton that you want to make. You gotta have the green masala ready though :)
Incidentally, the same green masala is used to make stuffed bhindi/okra in garlic and Fish and Tinda. ***Drool***

mujhko yaaro maaf karna...

2009-03-31T15:23:00.004-05:00

..."zaahid sharaab peene de
masjid mein baith kar
ya woh jagah batade jahanpar
khuda na ho
mujhko yaaron maaf karna, main nashe mein hun
ab to mumkin hai behekna, main nashe mein hun

zaahid - preist
masjid - mosque

Blasphemous although it sounds...it is true. All this drunk is saying is, let me drink in peace, sitting here at the mosque, or tell me of a place where there is no God!
These are the opening lines of a song sung by Mukesh (he was primarily the playback voice of Raj Kapoor), from the film Main Nashe Mein Hoon. Music by another one of Raj Kapoor's favorite music composer duos - Shankar - Jaikishen.

Good Read: "Momma's come in all flavors"

2009-03-30T14:04:00.003-05:00

this post at Jugalbandi cheered me up today. It actually did get a few giggles out from me as well. Somewhere in the middle there's this one dialogue between a mother and daughter about a forgotten CD. Loved it!!

I was taking a break and came across this post and I couldn't help but share it.

It's one of those days again...

2009-03-19T15:32:00.003-05:00

when I want to crawl under the desk and never be seen again.
What do you do when something you say to explain something to someone is taken out of context and an opinion is formed of you?

Right...that's what I want to do. Undo the day, crawl under the desk and stay there!

The newest member of the family finally gets a name!

2009-03-17T09:19:00.005-05:00

Aarush is what mum and dad have picked for him.
The name means 1. a new beginning, 2. first rays of the sun.

He's finally home now and getting to know his family. Chacha-Chachi can't wait to see him. In fact, chachi had a dream about him...that he was crying and she picked him up to soothe him.
Hopefully he's dreaming about chachi too ;-)

The one in which GG becomes an aunt!

2009-03-13T12:38:00.007-05:00

...Of a one day old bonnie baby boy :)

MnM's labor of love arrived last night (March 12, 2009, just like his mommy wanted) at 8.22pm PST and he was welcomed by his eagerly awaiting parents, grandparents and maushi (maternal aunt) :)

Yes, the new generation has officially arrived. And how!!? He made all of us wait and wait and wait and finally, Mommy and Daddy decided they had to put their feet down and bring this shy boy out !!

It's a great feeling! All the pictures flying around made me even weep a little. Such is the joy of ushering in a new generation, new dreams, new aspirations and a new life. I can only imagine how the parents feel.

As I bowed my head to the one watching over us this morning, all I could say was Thanks!!

Congratulations to the proud parents (MnM), both sets of grandparents and us, the aunts and uncles of the baby :)
We have a vital role to play you know! (that of spoiling and undoing everything the parents teach the little brat!! HA!!)

Back to work!

Edited to ADD: Back to work? Who am I kidding? I can't focus on anything...I feel like bouncing off the walls !

When will the finger pointing stop?

2009-03-03T12:42:00.005-05:00

I've been reading articles covering the deadly militant attack on the Sri Lankan cricket team in Lahore. At first it was only a report stating facts. 7 players were wounded and 7 other people killed.
I went to the TOI website and read that our neighbors now believe we're behind the attack (by we I mean India). One minister apparently claimed this is our response to the Mumbai Attacks from November. And that we wanted to prove that they are a militant state. Right!
Kill another neighbor to prove one is at fault.
But wait, did those ministers just confess that Nov 26, 2008 was their doing? That they are the perpetrators? We captured one of those beasts alive...isn't that proof enough?

When will the finger pointing stop? When both sides admit there's a problem, why does it take so long to get the problem resolved? So we condemn their loss and they condemn ours. Does it really mean anything?

It does sting when its your own innocent people that have to bear the brunt of your wrong doing and fanatical ignorance. So stop pointing fingers and do something about it damnit!

PS: At times I don't trust everything I read on TOI - so to be fair I went to Reuters and BBC. Both had similar accounts about the finger pointing...just for the record!

Finally, bitten by the pigeon

2009-02-18T16:35:00.006-05:00

No, it's not ornithology...it's Delhi 6
Masakalli has finally made it to my listening loop :-p

Here's how it all played out. I knew I wanted to watch Delhi 6 because I loved RDB and a good director is all I need to be motivated. As far as the music was concerned, I had heard snippets of the song before and as it is usually with me and AR Rahman music I didn't like what I heard.
Last week however, I said I ought to give it another try. So I listened to Masakalli and again, in true AR Rahman music ishtyle this time it appealed to me.
So I went and heard some more songs, Maula Maula and Delhi 6 - and I loved them both.
I had seen the Music CD at the local Indian store and I could not resist the urge to buy it. R said why not download the songs you like from Itunes...and I randomly said, if the CD is $5 or something I'll buy it, either way I end up spending $5.00 for songs that I want!

So we're at the store and I have the CD in my basket...we got to the register and I asked 'how much is the CD'?? The guy looks at me and...Yes, you guessed it...it was $5.00 (I swear I didn't know...I thought it would be more like $10).

So the CD was mine...and I kept playing it till it was coming out of the family's ears :)
Even at 10pm in the night...it was on...and I was swaying away at the music.

We're scheduled to watch the movie on Saturday...will let you know how it goes! Until then, aye masakalli masakalli, udd matakalli matakalli...

And all I do is complain...

2009-02-11T10:15:00.010-05:00

I had a meeting at 8.00am that I had to drive this morning. **GASPS!!** I'm not used to being at my desk before 8.45 and having an 8.00 meeting means I need about 20 minutes prior to get set up.
Now why did I have a meeting at such an ungodly hour you ask? Well because I am part of what they call a "global workforce". So I have business partners in India, with whom one can meet only in the wee hours of the morning because they soon turn into the wee hours of the night for our folks back home.
Anyway...so I had to be up an hour earlier and I still hit snooze a few times (I always keep a buffer for such times) but I shut off the alarm and then relied on R to count 5 mins in his sleep so I could get out of bed at 6.35 am. Oh well...it was 6.34 when I decided 6 mins more would do no harm. And then it came "you're already cutting it too close, you should wake up" - that was R, so I sprung out of bed like an old rusty spring (sheesh! And I'm only 27!!) and head to the bath.

Point in question here is that I'm not complaining, in fact I'm thinking I need to wake up earlier than I currently do. To get more out of the day, to get more out of the life we lead. Currently, our process is tuned to getting out of bed, R assembles our lunch bags (so brings components together), assembles our respective laptop bags, irons occasionally (so sweet na?), eats his cereal (are you wondering what role I play in all of this?) while I get ready. Of course, it takes time to get dressed in business casuals. If I had to wear jeans everyday I wouldn't take this long :-p (Seriously, stop laughing...it takes me 45-50mins give or take depending on how well the hair is drying)

So anyway...once we're ready we drive out the door. I eat cereal at my desk and we both drink coffee at work. So the only interaction we have in the morning is to share a goodbye kiss and occasionally grunt or bark at each other!

I'm trying to do the math and I want to figure what the magic time of day is, that we can wake up, possibly drink a cup of coffee and then scramble to get to work. For now, the only time that comes to my mind is Saturday and Sunday HA!!!

But seriously, what time do I wake up to get to work at 8.30 and not feel like a shot out of a cannon? Today I woke up at 6.40 and got to work at 7.45...this is without a coffee of course...and if we have to make coffee, drink it, followed by ablutions (TMI?) add 45 mins more? So if I did wake up at 6.40 am everyday...would I still make it to work on time around 8.30?!

Maybe I should give it a try...R are you up for a challenge?

Technology is great....

2009-02-04T13:53:00.003-05:00

Only when it works.
So I have a brand new phone that has gone into recovery mode, twice.
TWICE!! 1+1 = 2Wice!

The first time around I didn't want to mess with it. Took it to the store and they "restored" it to factory settings which made me lose all my pictures of MJ, the Snow in NY and all my flipping contacts! OK I said...lesson learned. Next time, make sure you have a backup.

And this time I have a backup...but the pain is no less. I spent 1.5 hours on the phone with a support rep who was basically reading instructions off a document - one that I ended up finding on their website. At the end of the ordeal, I was not only starving, I was also annoyed that I'll have to go back into the store and get an appointment no less.

Scheduling an appointment at the 'Genius Bar' while on paid time off to hangout with family is no fun. Knowing they'll explain to you ad nauseum, that "it maybe a lot of different factors, it's not necessarily the phone" does not make it any easier for you to walk into the store and have your phone wiped clean of anything you setup on it.

So it's a computer that happens to have a phone, yeah yeah! But I'm sad to say...I'm not impressed. As an end user, as a consumer, I'm not impressed with the troubleshooting capabilities of this phone. I am not impressed that I have to spend precious hours of my life, redoing everything and starting over. I am not impressed that each time this happens, the questions are more than any answers out there. And oh! I did get a new answer this time..."this is a known issue with the software update, so they made a new update to fix the old update and now the new update also causes the same issue".
WELL THEN WHY DON'T YOU F'IN FIX IT????
OR....How about disable the update, take it off your servers??? Ever thought of that???

Anyway, I think my ranting is over...I emerge jaded but not defeated. I will start over and next time...if there is one...I will NOT download any software updates. HECK - I'll just schedule an appointment at the Genius Bar when I feel like it and get them to update it. If it happens again, I think I might just ask for my money back!!! Some Geniuses these...

Tomorrow will be another day

2009-02-03T10:43:00.003-05:00

No news, is good news, or so they say.
I don't know what's worse, knowing you're safe or knowing that those you worked with closely are now going to be without a job and will grapple with uncertainty given the bleak market conditions.

It's hard to focus when news trickles down, one person at a time. It's time to look up and say thanks for what we have and brace for all the changes to come.

It's the first time someone from our generation is witnessing economic turmoil of this magnitude. It reminds you that change is the only constant in our lives, what goes up eventually comes down and what goes around comes around.

For Shru again...

2009-01-06T18:43:00.005-05:00

Man...I feel like I should get paid for posting recipes :-p. Ever heard of restaurants giving away their prized recipes??

HMMM

Things I'd do for friends :-p

Disclaimer: Dal Makhani is made different ways by different people. Some people use whole masoor and use shortcuts...you'll find no shortcut here :)

Also - these are approximate quantities...use your intuition and go easy on the garam masala, a pinch goes a long way!

Dal Makhani/Maah ki Daal/Kaali Daal:

Rinse and Soak in water (overnight): 1 cup whole urad dal (black and beady) with a handful of red kidney beans (rajma, optional)

Chop fine or pulse in a food processor:

2 medium onions

1/4 inch piece of cinnamon
1 tsp cumin seeds

3-4 cloves

a few green chilies to taste

Pulse/puree separately (or after onions)
2 ripe tomatoes (medium - large)

Julienne: 1 inch piece of ginger

Oil to saute, salt to taste, red chili pwdr to taste, cream/yogurt - 1/4 cup, fresh coriander leaves to garnish, a pinch of garam masala pwdr (optional)

Method:

Pressure cook the dal with the julienned ginger. It should take about 3-4 whistles and then about 5-10 mins on low heat. Turn off the stove and let the pressure subside.

Heat oil in a heavy pan, if you prefer your garam masala (cinnamon, cloves) floating around, add them to the oil. Add onions and saute until an even golden brown. It's all in the onion-tomato gravy so make sure you cook the onions through. When brown, add the tomato puree and cook until the oil tends to separate. It's ok for this paste to stick to the pan, the caramelized tomato adds a depth of flavor.

At this point, add the boiled dal (with it's water and ginger in it). Combine well, season with salt to taste. Cover and boil and then simmer (so its still bubbling, stir occasionally or the dal settles to the bottom and sticks to the pan). Taste it about 15 mins later to check for seasoning and to see if the flavors have melded.

When it's at that point, add the optional garam masala, cream or beaten yogurt, mix well, adjust seasonings if necessary. Turn off the stove and garnish with coriander.
If you're adding cream, go easy...you don't want the dal to taste sweet. It's just supposed to make it a little silky and add that luscious buttery taste. Also, if it's cream you're adding...add it slowly towards the end and heat through. For the yogurt, just be mindful and beat it really well.

You can make this dish even more decadent by adding a touch of butter at the end and even making the gravy in ghee. It's upto you how makhani you want to make it!

Serve hot with naans, as a side dish, or with rice.

Happy New Year!!

2009-01-02T13:12:00.006-05:00

I can't believe it's 2009 already or that I turned 27 (Oh! the horror!!) or even that my mum was around with us and is now back in Bombay.

I get like this every year I know...but I can't help it. Maybe this year the resolution should be "to live in the (current) moment" than in the next or the past. Who knows what tomorrow will bring, there's so much to do now. Let's just focus on that.

I know there's a laundry list of things that need attention or planning. Things to do, purchases to be made, trips to plan, work to do...
But for now, for a few days all I want to do is focus on R and myself and the home. Take stock of where we are and where we will be at the upcoming milestone!

Happy New Year to you all...I hope you'll live in each moment, as I have resolved to.

Paradise visited

2008-12-08T22:46:00.016-05:00

Evidently, in my mind there's more than just one Paradise...or Paradise comes in different forms, shapes and weather patterns! This post is dedicated to our latest travel endeavors, a 10 day trip to Hawai'i (the ' indicates a pause, so it's Hawaay-ee) I'll say though, this is not structured, its an extremely disjointed ADD type post, so consider yourself forewarned.
Anyhoo...

Originally I started making this a day by day account... I hadn't even gotten through day 1 and I realized this trip was not something I was going to provide day by day memoirs of. I like writing memoirs and I still have some that I actually penned when I used to go on vacations with my family.
Back in 2001 I wrote about our trip to Amritsar, Dalhousie and Dharamsala...and I still have that notebook. The trip to Hawai'i warrants putting an actual pen (preferably ink) to actual paper. It warrants a notebook with a pressed plumeria flower that I got as a bookmark to remind us of the beauty we experienced.
(note to self: look for that flower...it's in one of the guide books. GASPS!! I hope we didn't return them)
I will try to summarize our experience at the beautiful islands of O'ahu, Hawai'i (The Big Island) and Kaua'i and hope to not influence you in anyway. It's a place definitely worth experiencing, but I don't want my experience to cloud your view of the place.

I’ll start by saying…that if you’re expecting to get “lei’d” the second you land in Aloha land…you’re mistaken. Unless you pay to get lei’d of course ;-) (No you dirty minds…a lei (lay) is a garland of flowers). And you’ll find plenty of non-Hawai’ian people sporting leis around their necks…chances are they bought them :-) The first thing you do get however, is myriad shades of blue.
The pacific ocean offers majestic views, stunning vistas and a million shades of blue when you drive around the islands. R and I seem to be of the type that like to "get away". The Andamans offered a retreat...there was nothing to do on Havelock island but nothing. No TV, no phones...just the ocean and white sandy beaches.
In that sense...our first night at O'ahu was anything but a getaway. We drove through not so pretty parts of town to get to the Hotel, which looked like it needed a makeover from it's 60's style (but we expected it since we didn't want to pay top $$ for a few hours to crash). I said...it's just another big city with a beach. Which Honolulu, O'ahu is in many ways.

Wai'kiki Beach is a long sandy stretch that attracts hundreds of locals and tourists alike. We caught the sunset there on our first evening...walked around the strip and ate Koren BBQ at the International Market. Which is a great place to be for some cheap shopping and good quality food. We also got some fresh watermellon juice there...and were disappointed that there was no "naariyal pani" in sight.
That's another thing no one told us until we asked at another Hotel. You get fresh coconut water and the cream inside only if you go to a farmers market in the more local parts of town. So, Waikiki was nothing to rave about (atleast not yet...)
Although for Bombayites, the walk down Kalakaua Ave will remind you somewhat of Marine Dr. or the Chowpatti area.

Our next stop was Hawai'i, more commonly and popularly known as the Big Island (it is the biggest islands of the Hawaiian archipelago). The main attraction for us on TBI was the Volcanoes National Park. This is a must see/must do experience. It's like watching evolution in action, it's like going back to the beginning and starting over.
In March the Kilauea crater wall collapsed on itself and it was spewing huge plumes of toxic sulphur dioxide gas into the air. The park was still open, but several trails and roads had been closed to public. What was open was the Kiluaea Iki crater and the trails around it and the Lava tubes. The 4 mile hike was interesting to say the least and TBI is a land of shocking contrasts. From a rainforest to a lava dessert to a rainforest again. It's something you've never seen before.
I was tired however...and the heat and humidity was getting on my nerves. R kept egging me on so I'd get to the top and a little baggie of MnM's made sure I had enough sugar surging in my blood ;-)
Contrary to what I expected, the village of Volcano was actually cool. Blame it on the elevation - 4000 ft above sea level is bound to be cool. Although the sun on the black cooled lava did make it warmer than the rest of the village when we were walking around the crater. Then again, the crater was a few thousand feet below the normal ground level...which explains the difference in temperature.
The whole Volcanoes experience was not over yet...we had resolved to go watch the volcano in action (a.k.a spewing hot lava) at dusk from a designated viewing area. So far things had gone as scheduled.
We had reached Hilo around 8 am...head to a famous diner/pancake place for a big breakfast and were done with the daytime volcano visit squarely around 1.00 pm. We found a Thai place to eat lunch (Volcano village has only so many place one can eat at :-p) and we had enough left over for dinner.
Our cottage at Volcano was at the studio of Ira Ono (an artist from the area) and we knew it had a kitchen with utensils where the Thai food could be eaten again! (It was spicy...and you know what that means when I say it :)) We got to the cottage only because the owner of Thai Thai restaurant understood who we were speaking of!! The cottage was tiny but quaint, stocked with most essential items, with local banana bread and fruit for breakfast (and yogurt). It was expensive, but the views of the garden were beautiful and it was conveniently located. The drive to Kalapana was interesting, marked with some heavy rain followed by super sunny skies. The viewing area was at a safe distance from the Volcano and we didn't think we'd get to see much, but as soon as the Sun went down, boy did we get a spectacular show!!
Next time...we'll take our tripod and a better camera with sharper night pictures. It's hard to keep up with nature, you know!
The next day we got out of the cottage, drove all around the island's east side to head to Kona. Black Sands beach on the way was interesting...quite unlike anything you've seen before. And the turtles are so cute :)

We stopped and ate at a local sandwich shop owned by a German immigrant...and the dessert (we had a brownie with some praline type thing on it...but she called it a different word that's not coming to me yet) was killer, so was my Tuna sandwich. You can't be in Hawai'i and not eat Poke (Hawai'ian for Tuna)...that's just wrong!

Our hotel at Kona was value for money...atleast for the price we paid I thought it was a steal. We had our first Mai Tai watching the sunset on the beach...after R had had an "incident" with the ocean !! We did also go to a coffee plantation at Kona...and unfortunately I have nothing to rave about it either. The drive from Volcano to Kona was spectacular though. Punctuated by beautiful views of cliffs and the ocean, we actually picked a spot for our vacation home. A huge hill overlooking the ocean...it's free of course ;-) We lived on the Kohala Coast and had to drive around quite a bit for food etc.
R wasn't too happy about the landscape on that side of the island because he finds desert drives boring. And all we had to look at was miles and miles of lava rocks/dessert. We did some snorkelling around Kona...and strangely I was extremely claustrophobic with the mask. Maybe it was due to the fact that we were venturing out into the ocean without a "guide" and I'm not a good swimmer to begin with.
SO I'm generally panicky in vast bodies of water - unless I'm on a boat or kayak or something OR have a floatation device on! The fish were cool ... some of them were almost at the beach. So I didn't have to go to far and I could stand in water to look at them. But R went further in and said he was not happy with the quality of fish. He thought snorkelling at Andamans was way better. Then again, maybe it would be better if we had gone on a guided snorkelling trip and looked in the right spots?
Post snorkelling we managed to get some real good lunch though - the best blackened tuna wrap I ever ate. Made R taste it and he gulped a whole bunch of water after that, so we know how that went :) Kudos to him for trying though, if it were me and I didn't like the smell, I wouldn't have put it in my mouth. He said it was good...but the smell was fishy (it wasn't - if it was I wouldn't eat it. But then he's more sensitive than I am). I also got myself some jade...so that day was a good one!
And at this point I want to say that the one good thing about this trip was that we didn't get bad food anywhere. Sure the guidebook sent us on a wild goose chase at times and we found places had shut down altogether but that was a risk we took with an older edition. Other than that, food was decent and never downright disappointing. My one regret, I didn't spot a single shrimp truck, that I've heard so much about, we never quite did make it to a luau, never tried any true blue local food :-( I had the opportunity, but somehow I was skeptical. Maybe if someone whose taste buds I trust had recommended any of it, I'd be brave enough to try.

I guess this gives us a reason to go back...if we ever get around to it and can afford it. This time was a boon because we paid $10 for tickets and used miles. HA...I wouldn't have made it if I had to pay a couple grand for the tickets.
Next time though, we have resolved to snorkel at Hanauma Bay which is a marine reserve and give it a shot. Possibly we'll have a better time there.

Kauai was spectacular. R and I both loved it from the morning we woke up. We got there kinda late at night and couldn't see much at all. Our hotel was at Kalapaki Beach - R might do a guest post to write about all the things he disliked about the Marriott Kauai Beach Club, starting with the bathroom sink.
The pool was great...we spent one afternoon just doing nothing, wading in the pool. R wanted to use the jacuzzi/whirlpools...but BOILING HOT WATER and I are arch enemies...
We hit most of the usual spots, but decided against the Kalalau trail simply because I was here to relax.
I aint hiking no 11 rugged miles (one way) and being broken boned the next few days. Maybe next time though, we'll camp at the Kalalau Beach on the other side of Napali and come back the following day perhaps. The waters of the North Shore (in winter are) were extremely choppy and surfer dudes made the most of it. We did get a few great shots of them in action. That was super cool to watch and we didn't quite dare to step in the water.
Poipu beach was nice...but even Kauai to us didn't look as pristine as the Andamans promised to be. So it's either been too popular with tourists way too long or we're totally off the mark here and don't know what we're talking about.
Tunnels beach was supposed to be the best spot to Snorkel...but with the high surf, we couldn't even venture down to it. It was inundated. So maybe Kauai is a must visit in the Summer for its north shore beaches.

The drive to Poipu beach was beautiful and each time we went through the Tree Tunnel we rolled the windows down and took in the fragrance of the eucalyptus trees. I remember, whole trip we kept thinking we're some place like India. We didn't feel like we were in USA other than the road signs etc. I even thought of botteling some of the eucalyptus drenched air and bringing it home, a la GE commercial.

The Best day on Kauai was the day we did the Helicopter ride. The best part of the ride, the circle around the Mt. Waialeale crater...we had clouds overhead at the mouth of the crater, waterfalls lining the walls of the crater and us in the middle. It was like we had reached heaven or maybe my interpretation of Heaven would look like that. It was just way too beautiful to describe. I wish I were a bird and just keep flying inside that crater...I think I shed an overwhelmed tear when we were in there...inside my eye of course!

I don't know how all of this has read so far. I know disjointed but I hope it's not too negative. Being our first trip there, we'd read a lot, had gotten a lot of information from near and dear ones and we thought we felt fairly comfortable. But where we underestimated HI was the concept of time...it's relative in Hawai'i.
Trust me when I say things are laid back. I live in the South and this I thought is as laidback as it gets. Well, I was wrong. I think I can safely call this my most relaxing vacation ever (partly because we were not very well organized about excursions and trips, we spent most of the day driving around and taking in the sights and of course taking 792 pictures).

Our honeymoon was not as relaxing because it was short, we were exhausted with the wedding and the immediate trip to Tirupati. This time, we were exhausted with the way the year has gone, but we knew we wanted to make the most of the 10 days and get as much shut eye as possible. And when you're surrounded by beautiful scenery and all that green leafy stuff, you do feel more relaxed.
I don't think I thought about work once! And boy was I ready to forgo everything and be a bum on one of the beaches. But you remember what I said about not being a good swimmer, no?

So well...next trip to the islands will be better planned, we'll know what to expect, we'll probably stick to just one island (because regardless of flying time between islands, you do waste a lot of time packing and hauling, every couple days).
Heck, we might even take an island hopping cruise. But I know we'll come back feeling that time was short and we won't be able to do everything there is to do in Hawai'i.

Time is relative, everything slows down, and the islands leave you yearning for more. I know I skipped a lot of detail here...but then maybe that will keep you coming back here, for more :-)

Khuda Jaane...

2008-11-24T14:36:00.005-05:00

I've been singing, humming, thinking about this song non-stop (well almost).

sajde mein yuhin jhukta hun
tumpe hi aake rukta hun
kya yeh sabko hota hai?

humko kya lena hai sabse
tumse hi sab baatein abse
ban gaye ho tum meri dua

khuda jaane ke main fida hun...
khuda jaane main mit gaya
khuda jaane yeh kyun hua hai
ke ban gaye ho tum mere khuda!

My favorite line:
tu kahe to tere hi kadam ke main, nishanon pe, chalu rukun, ishaare pe...
tu kahe to khwaabon ko banake main bahana sa, mila karun sirhane pe (sirhana = pillow/bed)

Also, I found a very nice/unusual name (although its an urdu word) Ibaadat (Ybaadut)// it means worship. It's actually the name of a girl on one of my projects. But I think the name can be used for a boy or girl.

Calling all cooks...

2008-10-20T17:53:00.007-05:00

Can I ever write about anything other than food? ;-) Don't answer...this was a rhetorical question :)
A dear friend finally got to this blog and said it felt like I was talking to her. And she said, it's not going to be complete without a few of "my" recipes. Well most of them are passed over generations but what makes them mine are my touch to them.

So by popular demand I'll write down a recipe here that Shru particularly loved.
Elaichi Chicken (it's really a mutton recipe that I made with Chicken one day because Shru wouldn't eat red meat!)

So here goes:
1. Chicken - about 8 medium size peices (skinned, bone in - drumsticks/breast peices work well)
2. cardomom pods (about a palm full, to be roasted and powdered)
3. Cumin seeds (jeera) 1 tsp
4. corriander powder 1tsp
5. green chilies chopped (to taste)
6. 1/2 inch piece of ginger - finely chopped or grated
7. 2 medium tomatoes diced/pureed
8. Oil to saute
9. Salt to taste

Procedure:

lightly roast the cardamom pods in a dry nonstick pan until fragrant on medium-low heat. If you like you can add the cumin, maybe some cinnamon and cloves (if you're making this on a cold winter night). Turn off the heat and let it cool. Grind these spices or just the cardamoms/cumin into a powder (coarse is ok)

Heat oil in a large pot with a lid or a pressure cooker if making this with mutton.

Turn heat to medium and quickly fry the powdered spices. You may add turmeric if you wish to - just a pinch is sufficient. Be careful not to burn the powder - it will make everything bitter. Add the chilies and ginger. Flash fry for a minute. Add the meat pieces and stir well to saute and coat evenly with spices.

Lower the heat and cover - this will generate a lot of liquids to be drained from the meat. Let this liquid cook the meat and evaporate for some time.

Generally, mutton will render a lot more juices than chicken. Just be on the watch and make sure nothing's burning!

After 7-8 minutes, increase the heat and thoroughly stir the meat. Let the juices evaporate. Once most of the water is gone, add the tomatoes. Combine well and let them soften. You can cover at this point. Once the tomatoes look cooked, add water (this is a soupy/brothy dish). Season with salt and black pepper to taste. This dish is meant to be HOT and Spicy.

Pressure cook for upto 3 whistles or let it simmer covered for 20 minutes until the meat is tender. Garnish with chopped corriander leaves. Serve hot with Rice. It's better served with a crusty bread to mop up the soup!

Note: You can modify the intensity of the spices. What makes this dish is basically the cardamom and black pepper powder. All else can potentially be eliminated.

An acquired taste...

2008-10-18T09:15:00.003-05:00

I *was* never a beer person. I thought it was an annoyingly sour and bitter taste and I couldn't for the life of me understand why anyone would like it.
I always sipped from my dad's glass or R's (in more recent times) and would make a face much like :-S and put the glass back down!

Then I graduated to a Yueng Ling. Contrary to what the name suggests it's a local (US made) Pennsylvania brewery product. It's mild (not as bitter as some of the others) and still doesn't taste like piss (assuming piss taste like flat, tasteless beer :p).
Rarely would I go out and request a beer. I normally stuck to fruity cocktails or a wine or a shot of vermouth. And now I find myself wanting to try other beers. Last night, I tried a Dos Equis Lager...R was going to get it - the lady opened the bottle and I said I wanted to try. The first sip wasn't so bad...and I said I want it :)

So over our meal it came to me and I said its unbelievable that I now have two beers I wouldn't mind drinking. And R commented, you didn't like Starbucks, now you crave for it, you didn't like beer, now you drink it ... and I agreed although its not as if I crave Starbucks everyday. But after 5 days a week of drinking disgusting drip cofffee at the office, an espresso beverage does become necessity over the weekend.

The development of my taste buds so to speak has been an evolution. I have acquired a taste for many things I would refuse to touch let alone taste! Beer, american coffee (the less milky kinds), sushi, sunny-side-ups are just a few on the list :)

Does that happen to you guys too?

The song that I sing...

2008-10-07T14:55:00.005-05:00

...
like a bird on the wing,
you soar through your dreams
let your fantasies sweep the sky
but you know its unreal
the name is so clear...
like the tears in a baby's eyes.

Does anyone remember this? Pretty Child by Indus Creed? It's one of my all time favorite songs...the guitaring is beautiful, the sax, the vocals, of course, the black and white video and I totally love the tabla towards the end!!

Watch it here

Miss Congeniality

2008-09-30T10:42:00.006-05:00

In a first of it's kind on ggpedia...this post is about the current Presidential Campaign! Not so much to provide commentary or analysis as much as to post a fun clip.

Jack Cafferty makes his opinion on Sarah Palin very public after he plays a clip of her interview with Katie Couric. For those of you who haven't seen it...watch this and tell me if you agree with the title of the post!!

I think I find this video more fun for Cafferty's expressions and his reaction!

To Paradise and Back...

2008-09-26T14:07:00.006-05:00

I thought I had started writing this soon after I returned from vacation…uhh NOT! I went onto dashboard and found that I had not even started a post on our travels to the Pacific NW. And I was thinking all I have to do is go finish it. And I don’t know if it’s déjà vu but I remember starting a post with the exact same title.

Anyway, I digress…here I am and I don’t know if I should begin to recount the scenic beauty I was grateful to witness. Coupled with the fact that we hadn’t a very ambitious agenda and were just looking for some time to relax and take in some local sights, we were not disappointed.

Our first stop was Seattle WA. It happens to be R’s favorite city because of its lush greenery, proximity to water bodies (he’s Cancerian after all) and he’s been besotted with it ever since he first visited in 2003? Many people warned us of rainy days (I love rains…) of the weather not holding up and good luck with sunshine etc. But we welcomed the weather with open arms! On day 1 we landed in the afternoon to approx. 60 degree weather with partly cloudy skies. There was a chill in the wind and even though I was grappling with cold and sinus attacks (which got really painful during the descent in DFW, our layover on the way to SEA) I was happy to be in a cooler place!!
A, R’s chuddy buddy since a decade or so was there to receive us, his car complete with a car seat reminding us of the little brat we were going to meet for the very first time.
A and I had met a few times before, mostly at R or M’s b’day parties (of MnM fame) or reunions. But since those parties and reunions were so rambunctious with the college friends generally having a good time, I had never quite interacted 1x1 with A. Yes, I am of non-engineering background and my role was just to sit and giggle at all their antics and listen to their rather raunchy stories of the days gone by (believe you me, I still play that role sometimes ;-))

So…anyway….A drove us to his home where he had instructed B (his wife) to make us a snack which translates in Gujarati to some excellent Thepla and Potato Curry. OMG I’m drooling just at the thought of those theplas!!! Mind you kind reader, we had eaten a very disappointing lunch at Einstein Bros. bagel Co. at DFW and it was the WORST airport meal ever. It totally ruined the taste I reminisced and the bagels I had eaten prior at EBBC in Austin L so the theplas had a whiff of fresh methi and one just couldn’t help but dig in. The appetite came as we ate :-)

I must also mention the hands that made the theplas. I met B for the first time, R the second time. It was like meeting a friend I hadn't met in a long time. Down to earth, easy going and at home. She made us comfortable and made us the most scrumptious meals ever on a vacation. There’s nothing better than being at home, when you’re away from home J And so I teased her that my weight had already started to increase because I was eating so much and such good food :-p

We also met AnB’s first born son, little r who was the quintessential 18 month old, complete with a mind of his own and devious ways to have everyone wrapped around his finger! He was a cutie though…we taught him to refer to R with the name “kaka” muauahahahahaha!!!
Of course, as is usually the case, R was totally keeping up with the little r , whether it was flipping him 360 degrees resulting in a squeal of tickled laughter or generally babbling with him when he was being a baby! We even nicknamed him…zulfikar toofany. Zulfi because he has the cutest curly locks (hasn’t had his mundan yet) and toofany, well because he was quite a storm, screaming around and generally being an 18 month old !!

We knew this was going to be fun…

After some much indulgent eating and trying to gel with ZT we set out to Snoqualmie Falls. I haven’t seen so much water ever since Niagara Falls and I totally loved the place. We gathered together on a grassy knoll for a group picture and found some other kids rolling down the grassy hill. We though we should get ZT to do the same. But he was way too smart for us…as we would try to push him down, he would block his roll with his hands/arms. We struggled until he caste his eyes on a little girl on the corner of the knoll. And this kid was trying to woo her and get her attention. The only times he acted like an angel were when he was trying to woo a girl (including his mamma and maasi = me)

So…we generally chilled out there for a little while and returned home. As most people who visit Seattle do, our plan was to visit Mt. Rainier. I honestly didn’t care much…but I do like mountains and scenic rides so I was game. The much touted active volcano was deceitful – we didn’t catch a glimpse of it, not when driving, not when we got there. Rainier greeted us with rain that turned into sleet for a brief while. We returned when we finally gave up hope but it wasn’t a futile trip. We saw some more spectacular waterfalls on the way and some snow clad peaks…! AnB were most upset that we didn’t get to see it…but we thought just being there was beautiful enough!! Might I add that ten miles out on the way back the clouds broke to let the sun in :-)

And I almost forgot, but we had the most awesome lunch on the way up to Rainier at the Copper Creek Inn. The highlight of the show was the homemade from scratch blackberry pie – a la mode. Did I mention we saw wild berries growing all along the PNW from Seattle upto Vancouver and even Whistler?
But the pie…OMG…was a slice of heaven!! I’m definitely going back there for more.
We also met another friend from my childhood, A who graciously came over to see us. After 4 long years of not being in touch (I know…shame!) it was as fun as ever. R and his friend A totally bugged my friend A and I was hoping he wouldn’t hold it against me for the rest of my life :-p (I think he’s too zen to do something like that :-))

The next morning we were to head to Vancouver. R and A went to get the rental car while B cooked us lunch (yeah and she made us breakfast too :p). While the men returned we generally chit chatted and kept ZT busy. We also fed him and she thanked me because I was playing with him and wouldn’t make him jump from the table unless he had another bite. Games these kids like to play I tell you :-p.

Once the men returned, we ate lunch and set out on our drive to Vancouver BC.
We were just out of Seattle, maybe had been driving for about an hour when we see the signs – Vancouver 89 miles. And I looked at R and said, “that’s it?” We’ll be there in 1.5 hours! That wasn’t bad because we ideally wanted to be in the city by noon…

We were at the Canadian border for precisely 10 minutes; it was a scenic spot with the view of the Puget Sound to the west and the sun glimmering over it.
The first thing that struck us on the other side of the border were the speed limits. From cruising at 70 mph we were down to 35kmph. Screeeech!!

But we dealt with it and in a way it was nice to slow down the pace and start the vacation. We drove along through vast wheat fields, bypassing the town of Richmond and we could already observe the Vancouver Skyline and mountains in the distance. The day was beautiful and it was quite a tease driving closer and closer to the beautiful landscape that awaited us.

As we drove through the slower, busy streets of southern Vancouver, we couldn’t help but be wowed by the sights. Quaint homes lined the streets, the Victorian charm, the blue skies laced with fluffy white clouds. It was just way too picturesque and pictures don’t do justice.

Some people may say I’m raving and ranting about nothing. But then beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. And I think we were so ready for a vacation, any place would have been better than here. We’re not very close to a big city. Not as big as the NY and SFOs of this world anyhow, and Vancouver had the perfect mix of big city combined with natural beauty. Surrounded by water and with a rainforest in it’s heart, towering mountains in the backdrop…who wouldn’t call that beautiful?

Anyway while in Vancouver…we did most of the touristy things like visiting Suspension Bridges and Mountains and valleys and parks and such like! While on Grouse mountain, we watched the Birds of Prey show, the superfun Lumberjack show and even caught a glimpse of Mt. Baker which we mistook for Mt. Rainier :-p
We still have sights to go back and visit. Gastown would have made for an interesting evening stroll and dinner…but we were so taken by the English Bay and the seawall we couldn’t care for anything else !!
And of course, we want to go back there right? We spent 3 nights in Vancouver…and returned to Seattle on a Thursday afternoon. Originally we thought we’d go to the city on the way back, hang out and grab dinner before heading back to AnB’s but we somehow didn’t. When all we had done since the morning was wake up late, check out of the hotel, drive to Granville Island Market where we had a splendid lunch, picked up fresh blueberries and cherries and blackberries. Did I tell you British Columbia produces the world's best blueberries? They were really really good!
So we didn't do much other than eat and drive back to Seattle, but we somehow didn't have the energy to explore the city :-p

We went back to AnB’s chilled out some more with them and then decided to take the bus on Friday morning to explore Seattle. By the time Friday dawned, we were pretty much through sight seeing. You would be too, dear reader… but I knew in Seattle I had to see Pike Place Market and the first ever Starbucks happened to be right there. So R would be happy too.
We walked around, took in the sights, smells and tastes of Pike Place, had the Starbucks, saw the space needle and really…we didn’t have room for more! So we head back to AnB’s squarely around 6pm. We had to pack for the next morning which was going to be really early, for we had to come back to NC.
We did catch a glimpse of Rainier might I add…on the way back from Vancouver on Thursday, all day Friday and then some on Saturday morning. It was such a tease…but it was beautiful. We watched the sun rise from the plane and light the snow peak on fire. Reminded me of the song roobaroo from Rang De Basanti –

hui subah,
main jal gaya,
sooraj ko main,
nigal gaya….roobaroo raushni, hai.
Quite literally the nigal gaya part...Rainier being a volcano houses the Sun in it :-)

Nice way to end a trip, no?

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for...

2008-09-11T14:21:00.006-05:00

You'd think I'd be writing a post on my marvelous vacation to Seattle and Vancouver...(I am, that's in the making but this was more pressing...) but instead I'm giving vent to some random thoughts here!

1. I've been extremely restless. I see a lot of work to be done...and I want to do it...only that I don't want to do it! Something is bothering me, but I don't know what? I am looking for something, but I have no clue! I'd shrug it off as PMS but it looks like PMS comes with a new flavor each time. So this time around...it's I don't know what I want :-\

2. I read this early when I started my day at work - http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26641652/
So a teenager from Bhopal committed suicide over fear surrounding the Big Bang experiment. And I was just so pissed off at this article. I googled and found that even the BBC had it published. None of the Indian news websites wanted to report it though...I wouldn't either. Is this just sensationalism? Was there another reason to that girl's suicide? Doesn't it sound totally ridiculous?! So I can imagine the desi news channels running "san sani khes khabar...Big Bang experiment is going to cause the earth to explode" or some such crap. But come on...what would they have said that would cause this little girl to commit suicide?!?!? And what the heck were the parents doing???
And why would MSN and BBC want to publish such news? Didn't they have better things to write about?

ugh...makes me sick. The games the media plays!! One the other hand I'm quite excited about the experiment and all. I'm eager to find out what the outcome will reveal...which I hear will take months to complete. So, back to that child, why did anyone not try to sit her down and load her with some valuable information? Like those scientists are probably not idiots if they work at CERN and sure people make mistakes but it's not going to be at the flip of a switch. GAAAAH!!!!

Back to my ADD (yes, I do think I have attention deficit disorder...) post!

3. I'm actually lending a couple of my LBDs (little black dresses...) to one of my colleagues. Don't you think that's soo magnanimous?! I have never, ever, borrowed anyone's dresses (other than my sister) and this is the first time I'm agreeing to lend anything from my wardrobe. And of course I'm a little apprehensive...but I have come to know this gal and I think she'll look after my stuff. So...good luck to me!

4. And zat is all I haf for zis post. Got a senti email from Shru... :-(
I wish I could reach out and hug you girl...

See I told you guys I was all over the place!
:-/

Laziness and it's ill effects...

2008-08-27T17:47:00.006-05:00

Little did I know, that a thoroughly unproductive weekend could have it's pitfalls. Little did I know, that I was going to be under the weather for a good two days and not be able to accomplish what I should have over the weekend that just, went by!!

Lesson learned: Don't postpone travel related preparation to the last three days, you never know when you might sneeze on a Tuesday morning, sprain your neck and catch a mild cold!

With most of the week behind me, I have so far managed to pull out my travel bag of choice, add two pairs of jeans to the said bag and as an added bonus, toiletries that I had brought with me on the last business trip are still stashed in there. In my mind - that's 30% of the battle. I will on Friday (I know myself, it ain't happening before then) evening decide I need to try on the clothes I will bring with me for the week long trip and whine over the fact that I don't have clothes (!!)
(The other part of the problem is the length of the trip - 8 full days - I haven't been on an 8 day trip to anywhere in the last year.5 and I don't even know where to begin)
Much to the chagrin of the husband, who will suggest I go shopping at the nth hour. And if I succeed at making the shopping trip, I will be sure not to like anything or worse, feel fat (!!) in everything I try out.

Anyhow...my trips are incomplete without some last minute whining mostly related to the dearth of clothes to wear. Although, the worst that can happen is that I'll end up shopping on my trip and I'm not known to complain when that happens ;-)

All said and done though - I can't wait to get on that plane on Saturday morning. It's been a full year since I traveled anywhere this far and the Pacific Northwest has been a highly anticipated destination.
Will try to keep this spot updated with my travels...until then, wish me safe travels and a fun trip :)

Weekender's Anonymous

2008-08-24T19:04:00.004-05:00

I was supposed to get a lot accomplished this weekend. Start packing/preparing for the upcoming Seattle/Vancouver trip (does thinking about it count?) clean and create a semblance of order (R did some of that...) get a pedicure, go shopping (did for a baby and not the stuff I was to for myself), cook several dishes for the week (I made a couple...but those won't last the week) etc.

Suffice to say I had a ton to get done and did very little. I don't know if I have the right to complain or not. There are times I say weekends are busier than weekdays...this one was not so busy, in a good way. But that means I have more to get done over the coming week...and looks like the Monday morning blues are already making their presence felt.

Watched Ugly and Pagli and it wasn't as bad as I expected, but I watched it in parts over two nights...so maybe that saved me from the headache and yes, 10x fast forward through most of the songs is always an added advantage!! I didn't think they needed Zeenat to play Sandhya auntie though...what a waste!

Back to brooding about the next week and thinking about what I need to get done :-p
Some people never change ;-)

The Omnivore's One Hundred...and Picking fresh veggies

2008-08-19T13:07:00.012-05:00

So...I have another post in the making on MnM's trip to RDU (unplanned and totally fun...) but that's a long way from done. But I was surfing around in blogosphere and I keep going back to this food blog Live to Eat and here's what I found! It originated from another blogger - Andrew of the Very Good Taste blog.

I read the bit and I went down the list and said hey...there's a ton of stuff I can bold here!!

Here's the deal...

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.

2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.

3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.

4) Optional extra: Post a comment at http://www.verygoodtaste.co.uk/ linking to your results.

**I added some of my own comments...and I know this isn't a food blog but hey...I talk about food a lot don't I? And Oh...blogspot doesn't have a strike through feature so I'll just say in Red what I won't eat!

I made 44 out of 100 - I was hoping to get to fifty... :(

Edited 10/01/08 - latest count is upto 47

But having been alive only 26 years this list isn't bad, no? Plus there are some things in here I have never heard of!! So maybe I'll keep finding out and edit this post as and when possible!

************

The second part of this post...yes we picked fresh okra on Sunday evening from a farm nearby. Also while we were at it we picked out a watermellon too. We would have brought home some cantaloupe, peppers, cucumbers too...but we knew we had limited cash and this was a small farm with an old man manning it! He was funny though...he talked so much it seemed like he was thrilled to see us! It was really good okra though...I mean it can't get better than plucking from the plant with part of the blossom still attached to it. And of course I was all specific about the how long and thick the lady's finger should be :-p

Maybe I'll go back this weekend...and get some veggies from the skinny old man!

The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:
1. Venison

2. Nettle tea

3. Huevos rancheros

4. Steak tartare - I'm not sure I'm brave enough...Maybe if my cousin convinces me!

5. Crocodile

6. Black pudding - I read the description...and I don't think I could stomach it. Maybe if it doesn't look as gross as it sounds!

7. Cheese fondue

8. Carp

9. Borscht

10. Baba ghanoush

11. Calamari

12. Pho

13. PB&J sandwich

14. Aloo gobi

15. Hot dog from a street cart

16. Epoisses

17. Black truffle

18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes

19. Steamed pork buns

20. Pistachio ice cream

21. Heirloom tomatoes

22. Fresh wild berries

23. Foie gras

24. Rice and beans

25. Brawn, or head cheese

26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper

27. Dulce de leche

28. Oysters

29. Baklava

30. Bagna cauda

31. Wasabi peas

32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl

33. Salted lassi

34. Sauerkraut

35. Root beer float

36. Cognac with a fat cigar (I’ve had cognac of course, but a cigar? I'll pass...)

37. Clotted cream tea

38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O

39. Gumbo

40. Oxtail

41. Curried goat

42. Whole insects (Yuck!!)

43. Phaal

44. Goat’s milk

45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more (as long as someone else's buying!)

46. Fugu

47. Chicken tikka masala

48. Eel

49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut

50. Sea urchin - it looks kinda weird...

51. Prickly pear (Jam counts right...if not I'll have to go back to AZ)

52. Umeboshi

53. Abalone

54. Paneer

55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal - I'd probably start eating and never finish...

56. Spaetzle

57. Dirty gin martini

58. Beer above 8% ABV

59. Poutine

60. Carob chips

61. S’mores

62. Sweetbreads

63. Kaolin

64. Currywurst

65. Durian does juice count?

66. Frogs’ legs

67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake - I love funnel cake!

68. Haggis

69. Fried plantain

70. Chitterlings, or andouillette

71. Gazpacho

72. Caviar and blini

73. Louche absinthe

74. Gjetost, or brunost

75. Roadkill - oh! come on...not even if I'm dying of starvation!

76. Baijiu

77. Hostess Fruit Pie - good ol' college days!

78. Snail - escargot'? Yummy!!

79. Lapsang souchong

80. Bellini

81. Tom yum

82. Eggs Benedict

83. Pocky

84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.

85. Kobe beef

86. Hare - ate it in authentic Paella

87. Goulash

88. Flowers

89. Horse

90. Criollo chocolate

91. Spam - I know what goes in there...I ain't eating it!

92. Soft shell crab - Yum!

93. Rose harissa

94. Catfish

95. Mole poblano

96. Bagel and lox - need to try it with the smoked salmon...

97. Lobster Thermidor

98. Polenta

99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee

100. Snake - eeks it gives me the creeps!!

So all the foodies or non foodies out there...give this a try - it's fun to learn about all the things people eat out there :) I tag anyone who reads this and has atleast 1 thing they can strike off this list!

Plan to unplan

2008-08-11T11:07:00.003-05:00

This weekend was a refreshing change from the norm.

MnM were over...just like that to hangout with GnR and to get away from their routine and thereby take us away from ours! And who complains when you don't have a routine and just go with the flow, right?

So there they were...arrived on Thursday night (and they bought tickets on Sunday afternoon...so they truly are the forerunners of the "unplanned" category) and we had a late late dinner around midnight (which was dinner time for them PST anyway).

We were all working from home on Friday - which meant the techies were lolling around looking like they were busy and I was the only one really getting any work done! :-p (hopefully none of their coworkers are reading this...Ha!

The afternoon was entertaining though. We had lunch at a Mediterranean deli and then picked up Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na and Mission Istanbul from the Indian store.
M watched JTYJN and of course I sat with her while working to watch my fav scenes!

The day flew past...and it was time to shut the laptops and do something more fun. A.K.A go to Costco and look for sunglasses for R...!!
Of course we didn't find the right pair...so we bought some staples instead!! (Way to spend a Friday evening...) Dinner was had at P.F.Chang's and we head home in true gaonwala style. We then came back home (are we boring or what?)
As usual I was dead tired and sleepy because we'd had a late night on Thursday and I wake up like an alarm clock at 7.30 a.m. but we decided to play a game of Business (yes, yes that childhood board game!)
And of course my yawns kept coming...and R was doing all the thinking for me and kept making benevolent deal recommendations!! I kept complaining after midnight that I really wanted to sleep...maybe it wasn't even midnight but whatever....and M made sure I sat there. He really wanted a deal with me but I wouldn't agree to his schemes :-p
So inspite of the fact that he won the game when we stopped squarely at 12.30am, he was grouchy that I didn't cut a deal with him :-p

Oh well...Saturday dawned bright and late...coffee was had close to noon and then we head out to do some more fun stuff AKA - head to the mall to find R's sun glasses :-p
And of course I was irritated half way there and he had to get a dose from me...and then MnM were bored out of their wits too so we let R select his pair and head to Starbucks (we also thanked him for finally picking something). Then we came home...showered...and head to dinner with other local junta.

We ended the night at an Irish pub...old college lore and gossip filled the cool summer night! Lots of boisterous giggles and laughter...overall a fun night!
Sunday was waking up late part doux - but we wanted to get brunch at a local bakery and so everyone was quick on the uptake with getting ready (aka changing clothes and not bothering with the shower). We got there and managed to find a table. Honest to God that place reminded me of the Irani restaurant at the corner of R.A.K Road, Wadala (W), Mumbai.
The chairs were almost identical...it was an old place...large dining room with little tables and chairs, a funky staircase leading up to a mezzanine floor with more old worldly charm.
I had the eggs Arnold only because it came on brioche(!!) and I thought it was a spin on the Benedict and everyone else had eggs too...
We really like the ambiance...the food and the overall vibe of the place.
From there we head to Target to pick up some gifts for a Friend's baby...as they were coming over for some chai.
The afternoon was spent watching Mission Istanbul - HORRIBLE movie...Worse than Mere Baap Pehle Aap...so I skipped most of it clearing things around the house in case a tour was to be scheduled :-p

We had a great time with our Friend's baby...he was utterly cute and smiled and laughed a lot :)
After they left we invited an old friend and his wife for dinner (also because we had to pass his wedding gift on to him...) Sooo...after more gossip and giggles and good food...we ended Sunday night around midnight. MnM had an early morning on Monday and without further ado we tucked ourselves in Bed.
Monday morning was a little melancholy...because we wished the weekend would never end! We dropped MnM to the airport and went to work. After then we have barely been in the mood to do anything constructive :)
So the plan to unplan was quite successful and we have been unplanning ever since !!
Sometimes it's great to let things be and go as they please...its great to have family over and be as if there's no hurry and just relax and live in the moment...

Hopefully there will be many more such visits...MnM ... come back :)

Birthdays, Cakes and Retail Therapy

2008-07-17T11:56:00.002-05:00

First of all...Happy Birthday Love ;-)
30 is just around the corner...actually you're running it already :-p (you sure don't look it that's for sure!)

I am generally skeptical of the outcome of anything I make...same goes for the cake. Glad it turned out ok though. In retrospect I feel I need to buy some more tools for cake decoration so it does not look as amateurish as it did ;-)

For the uninitiated...R loves Tiramisu - so it was homemade Tiramisu cake this year :)
It helps that I love it too...but somehow no matter how much coffee liqueur I added, it just wasn't enough for the bewda husband of mine!
**********************
Sometimes a little carefree spending does things for the soul. Maybe someone should write a book called retail therapy for the soul :) (Hey...if someone out there does write it I want royalties :-p)

July 15th - the husband calls and says he needs new clothes for his bday...so we decide that he comes to my office and we drive in one car from there and go to the mall.
And so we did...and he found what he was looking for (or atleast settled for something...) and when it was my turn to browse I went through all the kitchen items (of course!) and then I turned my sole attention to shoes! (Pun intended!!)
And I hurriedly picked 8 pairs to try out...my arms couldn't hold anymore. Luckily the store person tending to us was a gentleman and found all the shoes. I tried all of them...some of them were downright uncomfortable and some were very very comfy but the heel was scarily too high. (Peridot is going to say there's no such thing as scarily "high" heels :))
So anyway...I bought three sandals...all medium to no heel. We left the store shortly after that and settled for some good south indian food at Tower. Nice way to end an evening...
A lot of money spent but well worth it. I think I had been wanting to buy shoes for so long that buying those 3 sandals felt like I had attained Nirvana!

Next on the list is a shoe rack...if R and I can decently agree on one!

Plans for the weekend include Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na...(I love some of the songs...but Mr. Rahman seems to have been a little too "inspired" by MLTR; Bread and Paul Young.)
Don't know what I'm talking about?
Listen to Kahin toh hogi woh - and then listen to Every time you go away (Paul Young) and Actor by MLTR - if you have an ear for music you'll know what I'm sayin!

Anyhoo...they sound good...so I'm not complaining :)

More when I feel like writing about the movie...until then go buy some shoes!

This one is full of quirks

2008-06-23T16:06:00.005-05:00

I’m quite excited to do this one since it’s the very first time I have been tagged and by Random Vignettes no less!

I must admit that I had to think really hard about this one as not too many came to my mind. Of course, a third person will be able to spot my quirks easier because quite honestly, they’re not quirks to me. They’re things that make me “quirky” to other people. Once I started typing though, thoughts flowed! In fact I made a list of many items and picked 6 to publish!

I thought really hard about all the things I do that might annoy other people (namely the husband)…or endear me to some.

1. I can be really indecisive. No, really. I will sit on the fence until eternity. But hey, in my defense, indecisiveness is the key to flexibility ;-)

2. I love anything to do with sarees. And my favorite pastime is to try all my sarees on. And this has been a quirk since childhood. My mom used to wear sarees to work in addition to salwar kameezes when SK’s had not become the dress of the all and sundry. So, I still remember watching her drape them deftly and get ready for work. On Thursdays, I would pull one of them out of her cupboard and try to drape them around myself. Now that I have my own collection, I don’t have to worry about her finding out!

3. I double check the knobs on the gas stove (even if I see no flame) and make sure they’re locked onto the off position. Same thing with irons…I don’t trust the auto off – I must pull the plug. Something about the heat and fire scare me immensely. I have walked back to my apartment several times, just to make sure I checked!

4. This one I share with RV and Peridot I’m amazed!! (actually the one above is close too!)

I don’t like the sheet/duvet/comforter label to be around the head side of the bed. They have to be on the bottom so they don’t poke me in the face!

5. Talking about beds and sheets...I cannot sleep on a wrinkled bed…these days out of sheer laziness I will fluff only my side of the bed and my pillow. Of course, R couldn’t care less.

And hence, I refuse to go camping with only a sleeping bag for a bed. I have been once and I slept a sleepless night on the stones beneath the bag. I still remember every waking moment of it! If it was not the ones under my back, they were at the heel. I tossed and turned and had a miserable night. Something about princesses and peas?

6. Last but not the least - I always, always clean when we have visitors. Maybe not my own room, but if we have people staying over (even close family) I will make sure the bed and bath rooms are spick and span. The sheets are clean and smell fresh, same for the towels, new soap is handy and toothpaste is provided. Not because anyone will judge me by my housekeeping skills or that my home should be like a hotel, but because I think its a step towards making a weary traveler comfortable. It's just to say that I thought about your comfort because I care. Even if the bed is a makeshift futon, or a sleeping bag. It will have a clean sheet, clean pillows and the floor it lays on will be vacuumed. Nothing could be worse than sleeping on a dirty carpet with hair for an early morning view. EWW!

Hmmm...so I'm afraid I've let some of my deepest, darkest secrets out. Think I'm obsessive? Or paranoid? Nahhh...just quirky!

PS: I'm working on my list of people to add...in the meanwhile, here are the Rules:

The rules of the tag are
1. Link the person(s) who tagged you
2. Mention the rules on your blog
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking the
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged

it's that time of the year again...

2008-06-06T11:52:00.004-05:00

When the heat is relentless and it's so bad that you wake up in the morning and feel listless rather than feeling rested!

The only good thing about this time of the year...well...my favorite thing in the whole wide world (ok, you're right there's more than one ...) the glorious Lychee!!!

**APPLAUSE**

So we were doing our weekly grocery store rounds on this sultry Sunday evening. We walked in and I walked past all the veggies to the far end of the shelves. I started walking back and somewhere mid-way I noticed a box with a while bunch of pink in it. My eyes widened, my heart skipped a beat and I ordered the husband to cordon off the area around me so I had exclusive access to the big box of fresh lychees, what with their stems and leaves intact (that way they sell them in the homeland). I was excited to bits and quickly solicited the help of the husband who refused to take it upon himself to learn how to choose good lychees from bad.
To his credit, he did pick a few bunches and managed to sort them quite right, for I haven't tasted a Bad lychee yet.

The only sad part was the sticker shock - I gathered (sound like a hunter, no?) 3.590 lbs of the exotic fruit for a grand total of $21 and change. $6.00 per lb...are you kidding me?!?!

But I kindly pointed to the husband that when lychees are concerned - Price no bar!! Esp when they looked so darn good :-) So what if 80% of my bill that day was the cost of lychees?!

We promptly brought them home and divided them equally (I am known to be ferocious about those lychees :-p) and I even got my cubemate to try one yesterday. In retrospect, I should have charged her a $1.00 :-p

only kidding...as long as people don't say they don't like them, I'll share willingly :)

I guess I'll get back to bitching about the sucky weather once I go through my stash of those juicy, soft, pinkish-white little things :)

Quick update...

2008-06-03T17:49:00.002-05:00

And that's what this really is.

The wedding from the weekend was ok. It got really hot inside the hall because the smart ass desis decided it was good to keep ALL the exit doors open on a day when it was 91 sweltering degrees outside!

So there we are fanning ourselves with saree pallus and the like. Luckily the sarees have plenty of ventilation points so I was suitably cool by the above mentioned fanning.
We went up the stage to wish the bride and groom (more like to make sure they knew we were there...) and it was HOTTTTT!!!
I pitied the couple and if I were in the bride's place being dressed up like a christmas tree I would have fled the scene (groom in tow or not!) or demanded a fan be placed in front of myself. (don't get me wrong...she looked like a doll and quite lovely but you know desi weddings...you have to have all those layers of bling and dazzle and not to mention a pile of garlands...and none of that helps if its hot!)

So...when we got back from there we were drained and sapped of any energy one could have left after spending 5 hours driving to and fro Charlotte with that sick weather!

And I'm back here again for work...so looks like I'll have all the exit names by heart on the route between Raleigh and Charlotte !
To make matters worse, it turns out my team didn't find a hotel in downtown and are put up 7 miles away. So last night dinner was some expensive room service. Today however, things seem to be looking up.
There's another senior colleague on a different project also visiting with his team, in a similar situation. So in the "one big happy family" fashion the two teams are meeting up for dinner tonight!

Atleast I don't have to eat alone! What with the power chord left behind (yes...that's what happens when you don't really unpack but unpack nonetheless for the short weekend at home between two consecutive trips!) I don't even have my laptop for company over 2 hours. Ooooh but then there's Hell's Kitchen tonight! Must remind the husband to DVR this one :)

That's about it for now...more when I return to my little kingdom again!

About a Boy

2008-05-27T11:43:00.002-05:00

I'm going to be away for work most of this week and back for the weekend and back out for another almost full week.
It's times like this that I wake up the morning of departure and rue the fact that I have to go away. No warm body to sleep next to and cuddle up with (only to be reminded that you're hot and move the opposite way :-p), nobody to bicker about silly things with.
I know I've mentioned before...I used to be a champ at the long distance bit and its almost as if I have suffered a bout of amnesia and don't quite remember how I did it.

So anyway...it's not going to be fun but we'll try not to miss each other too much.

Over the weekend, we have to head to Charlotte (2nd trip in a week for me) for we have a wedding to attend. A co-worker/friend of the husband's is taking the plunge. So me being me, I have been brooding about what to wear and fussing over how the weather will be and what the outfit should be for weeks.
Have I ever mentioned I love sarees? No? What? Really? Well...I HEART sarees!!

So a few days ago I'm going through my stack of sarees and pairing them up with the gazillion churidar-kurtas the husband has and trying to figure what goes etc. I also take the opportunity to remind R that I must buy sarees for the colours of his kurtas that I don't have currently :p (Yes, I'm that silly...)
Anyhoo...I'm being all girly and fussy about what will be comfortable, what's not wedding worthy, how much bling is needed etc. when the husband steps in and says (and I quote) "It's ok...just wear anything, I'm sure you'll look more elegant in anything you wear than anyone else!"

And I stand there thinking...wow, he really does have eyes only for me :-)
And I may be lead to believe that he does not notice, but he does and points out that he does in such subtle ways, matter of factly without a hint of doubt!

I think I much prefer this genre of romance than the other cliched forms!

awwwwwww :-)

Main Entry:
1ro·mance
Pronunciation:
\rō-ˈman(t)s, rə-; ˈrō-ˌ\
Function:
noun
Etymology:
Middle English romauns, from Anglo-French romanz French, narrative in French, from Medieval Latin Romanice in a vernacular (as opposed to Latin), from Late Latin Romanus Gallo-Romance speaker (as opposed to a Frank), from Latin, Roman
Date:
14th century
1 a (1): a medieval tale based on legend, chivalric love and adventure, or the supernatural
(2): a prose narrative treating imaginary characters involved in events remote in time or place and usually heroic, adventurous, or mysterious
(3): a love story especially in the form of a novel b: a class of such literature2: something (as an extravagant story or account) that lacks basis in fact3: an emotional attraction or aura belonging to an especially heroic era, adventure, or activity
4: love affair
5capitalized : the Romance languages

These are days...

2008-05-23T12:04:00.002-05:00

It's the Friday before a long weekend, as usual it's increasingly difficult to focus on the multitude of tasks I need to finish before I call it a day. Emails to respond to, to do lists to make, issues to raise, documents to finish. Rationality says you should and can get through it all, emotion is completely looking in the opposite direction.
Add to it a tasty mexican meal sponsored by a kind PM. All that rice with beans makes me yearn for a siesta.

This long weekend we will not be doing much. Or atleast I hope not to do much. I just want to go into a cave and hibernate. Will I achieve that state? Maybe, maybe not. But I'd rather not fret about it now.
All I want is some quiet time sans chores, thinking about the clutter in the bedroom or in the kitchen. I want to be a child again with reckless abandon...go back to college days if it were - just sit down with chai and some good company to chat with.

Is that too much to ask?

Ma

2008-05-12T09:45:00.004-05:00

I don't know how anyone could better what Prasoon Joshi wrote. I know you don't read this often ma, but I dedicate this song to you. I love you (inspite of the yelling, screaming and fighting...) Thanks for being my sound-board :-)

Main kabhi batlata nahi
par andhere se darta hun main ma,
Yun to main, dikhlata nahi
Teri parvaah karta hun main maa
Tujhe sab hai pata, hai na ma
Tujhe sab hai pata, meri ma

Bheed mein, yun na chodo mujhe
ghar lautke bhi aa na paun ma
bhej na itna dur mujhko tu
yaad bhi tujhko aa na paun ma
kya itna bura hun main ma
kya itna bura, meri ma

Jab bhi kabhi papa mujhe
Jo zor se jhoola jhulate hain maa
meri nazar dhoondhe tujhe
Sochun yahi, tu aake thaamegi Maa

Unse main yeh kehta nahin
par main seham jaata hoon maa
chehre pe aane deta nahin
Dil hi dil mein ghabraata hoon main maa
Tujhe sab hai pata hai na Maa
Tujhe sab hai pata Meri Maa

Main kabhi batlata nahi
par andhere se darta hun main ma,
Yun to main, dikhlata nahi
Teri parvaah karta hun main maa
Tujhe sab hai pata, hai na ma
Tujhe sab hai pata, meri ma

rudderless

2008-05-07T13:00:00.002-05:00

You know when you're getting sidetracked and being pulled in different directions and when all that sidetracking is over you feel disoriented? Yeah! That's how I feel right now...
Have so much %$#& to do that I don't know where to begin and where I was at!

Meanwhile, I still remain a lowly, underpaid, nondescript, teeny-weeny fish in a Big pond with Huge fish. Go figure...where should I turn for motivation??

I think I should just call it a day and hide under the desk...maybe that will keep people away from me.

Making a connection

2008-05-06T13:29:00.003-05:00

I was just thinking about RV and Peridot...

And I thought...it's been eons since I saw them. RV and I were in the same class in XIth and XIIth grade. We did interact, at times shared the same bench and after that pretty much parted ways.
Peridot...well I had seen her...but never talked.
And thanks to their blogs and Orkut and just internet and technology in general I feel so connected to their lives.

RV - I found Kailash Gupta on Facebook...crazy Kailash and the adventures with the inimitable Mrs. Samant...do you remember?

Well we had this math teacher who used to pick on this very naughty but smart boy. She would say..."Kaeeeelaaaaassshhhh; come and solve this prob-lame on the board". And he would...and get it right :-D

Anyway I digress...I was just beaming about some of the new friendships that I think are blooming. What with RV willing to draw me one of her famous Ganesha's...how sweet is that? And Peridot wanting to visit and try the experiments of my kitchen...!

Cheers to new relationships and connecting with mates long lost (and found!)

Musings on a Friday afternoon...

2008-05-02T14:42:00.003-05:00

Does it happen to anyone else. After a week of grueling work with hardly any breaks leads to a Friday where the brain sort of shuts down and no matter how important the looming deadline you just can't get yourself to apply the mind to anything constructive?
Such is my state today. After days of being dragged into issues and numerous quick fixes to be made and answers to be found for a very senior audience (I mean title-wise not age necessarily); the one day I have to do work that I need to do...I want to day-dream!

Both the managers of our teams are out; more than half the team is working from home and some have taken the liberty of sneaking out! Hopefully, I will be out soon...and I'll get to be outside.

Agenda for today is to get my uber bushy eyebrows threaded, then pick up the husband (who's uber busy might I add - love the word don't you? UBER?) for coffee and then head home perhaps.
The eyebrows they are a Long overdue. And tomorrow night is a little bachelorette dinner/drinks date for a new member of our local ladies gang.

Incidentally, she wants to hang with moi tonight as well...and we may catch some chick flick at my place since the Boys will be out with her better half. Or maybe worse half...anyway :-)
So coming back to the eyebrow -- its quite a mess...normally I would tweeze once in a while before letting them go (or grow?) but work being crazy with the laptop being opened even whilst watching tv...tweezing was out of the window.

Having a laptop is a blessing in disguise. Technically, you are expected to work anytime, anywhere with internet access...while on the flip side atleast it guarantees not having late nights at work. I'd rather be home and working into the wee hours than be at work lonely and having to wave at the overhead lights for them to go on. Mind you, I have been in that precise situation at the prior workplace. No more desktops...helloo Lenovo! (Which BTW...I detest...it's slow...oh wait...Now I don't want to say too many bad things for I might jinx it :))

Soooo...here I am typing away while I should be contributing to some process improvements...ehh..the rest of the week's for that :-)
Today being a textbook Friday - meaning not too warm, not too bright, just right.

Been talking curtains with mom lately. We needed to come up with a budget in case we plan a trip to India (which I need to for the said curtains). It's fun talking to mum about such things. Shopping, sarees, drapes, furniture...and much more... it's fun more so because she is super knowledgeable.
Having grown up under her wing exposed me to certain things I wouldn't have heard of if she had not been a voracious reader and a jack of all trades.
At home she's in charge of all the home improvements. Talking to the mason, the carpenter, the tailor (she knows it all I tell you...). The last time I was home I proved to the workers that I was her daughter. The architect who they worked for was impressed with the mother-daughter duo. I swear I could have put the fancy sink in the bathroom together -- the plumber was that dense!
Anyhoo...mommy dearest was most helpful and I now have a (steep) budget for drapes. Whoever said India was cheap !!!
Truth be told, most good things (and I really mean materially) come at a good price. You should be willing to pay, is all and have good taste :) There...that's the gyaan for the day.

Enough for a Friday you say? I agree....

I think it's time for me to wrap up and get some fresh air and a new pair of eyebrows!

triggered by Peridot

2008-04-22T12:09:00.003-05:00

I read Peridot's last post and it started this domino effect in my mind of the gazzillion shops I miss from back home. (Strange isn't it that we own a home in this country and still call India 'home" :-) What is it...can take an Indian out of India but not India out of an Indian :)))

So...I totally agree with P. The convenience of all the services being offered in the nooks and crannies of our city is unmeasurable. From the tailor, the mochi, to laundry, raffoo (darning), to all the lovely street food...there's almost nothing you will not find just around the corner.

When I moved to Austin, I would come home from school and my friend and I would discuss food over a cup of chai. We'd wonder why there was no bhelwala, sandwichwala or dosa stand nearby. The cheap and reliable fast food which is still healthier (I like to believe it's healthy ok) than the American fast food variety was sorely missed during college in USA.

Then of course, the chemist if not for his quack like properties atleast for the accessibility. Every neighborhood or cluster of 4-5 apartment buildings had a chemist around somewhere. Also because medicines are so much cheaper :) No wonder we desi students always had our medicines shipped to us from India...I know I carried a stack of Metacin and Rantac :)

Just this week - I found two watches that need batteries replaced. Strange enough, in CT I got the matter sorted out for $5 right in front of my eyes. I go to the mall and Dakota Watch company (they don't even have a store...it was just one of those stalls in the middle) said $15.95 if I wanted to keep my Fossill waterproof. $9.95 for no waterproof seal. WTF??? Even the battery doesn't cost so much. I'll just go to Walmart and get it done. HMPH!!

So in addition to the Mochi I also miss the Watch repair shop :-(

And then of course there's the bhaji wala...although we have a grocery real close...it's really expensive. $3.99 for a lb of tomatoes. We also have a few farms around where we live (yes you could call it a gaon :)) and I'm thinking one of these days I'll ask them if they will home deliver their wares over the weekend ;-) -- more wishful thinking!

And the one last person I miss a lot - DHOBI!!! Like the chemist, you'll find a dhobi in every locality. So if you're rushing to a wedding and need your saree ironed the same day or the Suit...worry not. Local dhobi will do it in an hour. And for regular clothes...he'll pick them up and drop them off. I'm sure there is a laundry that offers the service for a Bomb...but its out of reach for now :)

The more I think about it - the more I feel we have so many things back home we could take for granted. Had it not been the travels to this country, we may never have realized its value !

Back to work now...have an annoying 5pm call that never ends!!

the Life of Pi..

2008-04-17T12:31:00.003-05:00

Has so far been quite intriguing and humorous in a satirical way (if that's technically correct). I'm about half way through...and I'm afraid I am at the point where the story takes a turn to become a little severe...but I don't think I'm putting it down till it ends!

Stay tuned...

PS: The English Patient has now been abandoned...I cannot finish the book :)

Edited to add: I finally finished reading the book. So thats a first of the 9 and mind you my list is shorter by another book since I disowned The English Patient. Anywhoo...I'm now reading The Inheritance of Loss by Kiran Desai (no it's not one of the 9 months, 9 authors...)

About The life of Pi - it was an interesting book. An incredible story written like a child was narrating it to you. It's a fascinating tale of hope and resilience. Since I didn't have any clue when I started reading the book, it made it even more intriguing. In parts funny, in parts terrible sad. Overall, a good read!

Window shopping

2008-04-15T13:18:00.008-05:00

Having a home is a lot of work. More work than I signed up for anyway. From bugs in warm weather to blinds and window treatments.
This weekend we decided we must buy blinds to cover our windows and provide some much needed insulation from the southern sun that will shine for more than 12 hours a day come summer. Much to our dismay we ended up buying only 2 blinds for our media room. It turned out that most of our windows are a good 8 inches longer than common windows and we'd need to special order blinds for them!

We have a few curtain panels that we can hang and so we decided to hang those for the time being as a temporary solution (given that special order blinds will cost a bomb). Now if the temporary solution is going to be different from the final look we choose we still have to prepare ourselves and arrange for those changes to take place.
Case in point - hanging single panels versus double. I really like the layered look and would need sheer and solid panels to hang from a double rod. So we need to make sure the rods we hang now are placed far enough from the wall to make space for the new rod once we have the panels custom made in India.

Hanging them should be a breeze...it pays when you have a six footer who's not shy to use the drill :)

Window shopping for window treatments was fun and we came across some very pretty ideas at the store. I silently wished my mom was with me...she would have loved to see those beautiful drapes.

So our windows are the next big project...hopefully the two blinds will fit well into our windows and we won't need to return them!

And then there are other things that need attention soon. The garage, the yard, the closet, etc.
The list is just never ending :-) and we thought once we "settled" down in the home it would be a breeze...!

Wishful thinking?

Almost a month down...

2008-04-07T16:27:00.000-05:00

And I haven't even finished the first book I picked up.
Somehow reading the English Patient hasn't been an experience I thought it would be. Maybe the movie ruined the book for me...

I intend to finish it though and move on to Life of Pi. I still have to update that list; but then I need to hunt my library first!

9 months!

2008-03-14T12:09:00.004-05:00

Now, now...don't get any ideas with the catchy title there!
This is just for the 9 books, by 9 Authors, from 9 countries in 9 Months tag I got from Peridot.

I haven't read in a long time...the last book I read from start to finish was Harry Potter - that's dismal considering it was last summer!!!

So, this is just the impetus for me to start reading again. I had brought a book home by Harlan Coben from the library and never read it. Just last night, R finished reading a book by the same author and I was quite envious that he had a book in hand and I didn't!

Now is my chance I guess....need to work on the book list though!

Let's start at home:

1. Unaccustomed Earth - Jhumpa Lahiri (India - although she lives in USA)
2. Reconciliation: Islam, Democracy and the West - Benazir Bhutto - Pakistan
or Daughter of Destiny (whichever I can find in the library)
3. Self Help - Edward Docx - England
4. The Gift of Rain - Tan Twan Eng - Malaysia
5. The English Patient - Michael Ondaatje - Canada
6. The Life of Pi - Yann Martel - Spain
7. The Gathering - Anne Enright - Ireland
8.
9.

The literary kind might notice that most of these are Booker nominees or winners. It was the only place I could think of to get a list of world authors!
Need to find more to make the 9 and maybe a few extra because I do realize I may not like all the books I start reading ;-) So I may cheat there and hence the list is subject to change. Also, it's not listed in any particular order I'd like to follow and is vastly subject to availability at the local library !! Maybe if they have an international section, I might find more books that intrigue me.

This is going to be a fun tag...thanks Peridot!

So I write again...

2008-03-06T17:07:00.004-05:00

Funny how time slips by and you don't know what you did with it.
Well work is really busy for sure while my cubey thinks I don't have as much as she does on her plate!

Anyway, R and I really need to get back in the homely groove and go find some blinds! We're living in a home with no blinds and while we have all the privacy in the world, the sun's getting warmer and we need additional insulation before summer arrives or we'll be footing huge energy bills. Speaking of which, we cut our gas bill some...maybe because it hasn't been as cold as the last month. Considering how I don't like the heat...I better get those blinds up before I complain of being too hot!!

Peridot has inspired me...going back to the gym after 3 months...
I did go back after 3 months...for a month and then got my refund from the brand new gym. But I still haven't made it back to the Old gym - the good ol' trusty YMCA (nanananana Y. M. C. A - makes me think of the song...I totally love the 80s!) I'm going to drag my rear there this weekend...I must and I will.

It hasn't been all work and no play though. Last weekend, we played Business (our desi version of Monopoly) until 1 a.m with S&S and C. The unsaid Golden rule of Business...he who owns Bombay - wins the game!!! Jee - that place is expensive even to visit!

This weekend we should be focusing on getting some serious cleaning done...it's been a while since we scrubbed the house :)

Oh btw...we had massive thunderstorms couple nights ago. Real, hard, pounding rain - real NC Style -- totally reminded me of the monsoons back home. R laughed at me while I kept looking out the window like a curious child to watch the rain fall :-p

RV mentioned something about watching Food Network...and Giada goddess...well guess what!! Apparently someone sued the channel saying they hired a model (Giada) to pretend to be a chef. Until they found out for real that she's trained to really be one!!! She is hot though...but credit does also go to the crew. How they focus on her well manicured nails, the cleavage, it's all really well executed - bet those pretty hands still stink with all those garlic cloves she handles ;-)
Wonder if the men think of that :-p
I find her recipes really nice though...and all her Italian speak. She is cute - I'll admit!

RV - I recommend Alton Brown - Good eats...if you like goofy...you'll like him!!

On other bloggers that I regularly read, the Madmomma really has me by the edge of my seat sometimes. She always has these wonderful tales of people and her friends. Some are truly inspirational...thanks MM! And the last post on "gifts from America and the foreign smell from the bag"
I totally identified with that. It wasn't too long ago when I was a kid and my aunt would return after years with bags bursting at the seams with goodies. I remember us trampling on each other to get to the things...and the bags would be cold and would smell "foreign". One year I remember her asking me if I wanted anything in particular. I said no, our cupboards are full to which she said - Oh! Shall I bring you a new cupboard?! :-D
Those were the days!!...

Which brings me to my aunt...I should go visit her...it's almost been a year. And my precious MJ :-(
I miss him...I need to find a soft toy that's an exact replica of a beagle like MJ since R won't let me get one of my own :-(

Which brings me to R...where is he?! I want to go home now...the whole office is almost empty while I'm typing this!!!!

adios folks...more rambling coming soon!!

waiting to exhale...

2008-02-20T09:43:00.003-05:00

The last few weeks have been busy to say the least. It continues to be that way and life just seems to be chugging along. We drift along with the pace, night after day, day after night.
The long weekend was not long enough but thankfully, a short week does bring Friday closer!

Nothing exciting to note right now. Jodhaa Akbar was interesting although a bit slow but with great production values, a good musical score and some much needed eye-candy, one can't complain much!!

That's a first!

2008-01-31T15:23:00.000-05:00

the 1/2 milestone from July is now past one full! Monday was a fun day spent just goofing off together, doing some homely things followed by a fabulous dinner!!

To many more of such days, to us :)

Baby steps to a fitter self

2008-01-15T16:07:00.000-05:00

Did I ever mention my fascination of new things. That when I was a child I wanted each new soap, toothpaste, toothbrush, cereal, drink, what have you I saw on TV?
No, well now you know!

We joined a new gym...and still have the old membership going. (Smart, aren't we?)
Well this was just a ploy to give the new gym which happens to be a wee bit closer to the house a try. We go 12 times in 4 weeks and then can cancel for a full refund. The only sad part is that it's expensive.
So far, I like it. It's big, not very crowded and they have plenty of equipment that works and is new. There - I said the code word - NEW!!!

We've gone once and I cannot believe how unfit and terrible I feel. I'm heavier than ever before (shame shame - or PMS) and I am not looking forward to the complimentary (rather uncomplimentary for me) fitness assessment. Not looking forward to doing the push ups or the flexibility test or much worse the body fat pinch test!!
But atleast it's a step in the right direction. Although, I'm not sure I'd ever want to go back to the Y after this spanking new gym.

Tonight it's spinning and tomorrow is the fitness assessment. I hope I make it through the one hour session today. I remember my first ever spinning class - I went unknowingly and didn't bother with a water bottle. I was going to swoon and collapse after that class. What a nut job!

I hope this works out and keeps us motivated for a few years. Or atleast till the next big thing in our lives comes around to wreck our schedule! Until then, I'll hope I stay motivated till the next 6 weeks. Like I said...baby steps :-)

The curse of a perfectionist

2008-01-10T16:56:00.000-05:00

FYI - I am venting. There are times when you cannot explain your angst to people face to face and writing it all down helps get over it and out of the system.
Let me start by clarifying that I strongly believe perfection is imaginary. There is excellence however and it varies by degree. Some people push themselves further, albeit in the pursuit of perfection they manage to achieve a higher excellence than others.

Some people may also replace the term with "anal" (as personality traits of course) and I know that calling someone "anal" is not a positive thing to say, let alone a compliment. What I don't get is the unnecessary hypocrisy around perfectionism or even just the pursuit of excellence.

When a child gets good grades at school, he is encouraged (I'm not bothering with the he/she - you get the drift!) and rewarded. When it comes to working life, everyone likes a go getter and a young achiever. No one ever says, "that guy is anal about his career"
Most people recognize that hardwork is appreciated and rewarded and it comes with an element of being at the right place at the right time.

On the home front however (which may not be as lucrative as a business career) I have often observed double standards. While everyone likes good food, likes to be in a clean and tastefully decorated home, people often ignore the hardwork and attention to detail that goes with it. I don't claim to be the authority on the home front, but I try to get a lot of information and try to adopt as much as I can into my lifestyle.

Many people prefer mediocrity and will settle for less than the best. As regards to food, there are many Indians who believe a dash of garam masala or any masala makes everything tasty. Or, it does not matter how the ingredients look, smell and feel - the end result will be fine anyway.
Even when it comes to home decor - a lot of people will settle for whatever's available without wanting to explore options.
I do understand a lot of these things are personality related and it's fine! Some people find certain things more important than others and I don't claim to ride a high horse and dictate to other people what's right and not right. I could care less what someone does in their kitchen and home or office.
What I do care is how I operate in my own life and I set standards for myself. Call it upbringing or personality - there are some things I want a certain way.
So I don't think anyone else has the right to ridicule me when I say - I want my veggies to look and feel perfect because I care about the way they taste and I also care about texture. I don't want people to ridicule me or call me names when I say, I don't like using canned veggies because I don't like the smell.
I believe you can achieve anything you want if you put your mind to it and if you have the aptitude for it. Even when I was in college, people would make fun of me for being "anal" about things that they were not "anal" about!
Sure, when you're in school you're expected to be studying and working full time. But different things make different people happy and if we're not being a burden on anyone else, I don't see why anyone else must have an issue with it!

WHY? Why must everyone settle for convenience and the easier way out? I didn't ask anyone else to cook for me. I didn't ridicule anyone else for eating canned vegetables and pre cooked food. Because there are times when I have done it out of a need or if I was too ill to cook. But if people think they have the right to ridicule because I don't fit their bill and their ways - I am bound to be angry and irritated. As an analogy I am going to add, that I know people who don't mind a dented and bruised eggplant or woody okra with no taste and large seeds but obviously will not buy a car with a dent in it! See, double standards!

I don't expect support, I just expect my space and freedom. Don't make fun of me because you find my standards too high. Make fun of yourself because you know better than to settle for less than what's good and you still don't do anything about it.

Again, I'm venting and I'm not preaching or giving unsolicited advice. But I do think sometimes it's a curse to pursue excellence/perfection (whichever word you prefer). I do think it's a curse to not be mediocre except in your work/occupational life. And I hate that such stereotypes exist but I do recognize that they exist because we let them!

New Look...

2008-01-08T12:57:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to refurbish this space and give it a new lease on life. Every once in a while it's a good thing to change things completely around!
It brings a fresh perspective and a new outlook on things.

A year older

2008-01-03T09:22:00.000-05:00

December seems like a long long time ago although, it's only Jan 3rd.

Inspite of being on leave for almost 2 weeks, I feel drained and exhausted. Maybe staying home is not so easy afterall. You're out of a routine, you're constantly planning the next meal, you're always upto something.

We did get a little break from the homely life in Charleston, SC. It was a beautiful, quaint town and it treated us with good weather. But the days after X'mas flew by rather quickly.

What with an impromptu X'mas party, the eve of my birthday (party), an interesting Baby Shower (that was organized by the mom to be) and new year's eve - we were sleeping past 1.00am and waking up post 10.00am. Which means we were eating breakfast at 11.30am and lunch at 3.30pm!

We made no progress in terms of home improvements, no progress with organization/unpacking. It looks like we've hit a plateau and I don't know how long it's going to take us to get up the hill again!

Anyway, this was the first time I spent so many days away from work and remained in the US and I don't think I'd like to make it an every year affair! I'd rather be vacationing somewhere than stay at home!

Sigh! I still can't believe another year has zipped by. As far as resolutions, I seriously want to get back to the gym. Other than that I know resolutions are meant to be broken - so I don't make any. But the gym beckons, I can hear it!

money down the drain...

2007-12-04T16:45:00.000-05:00

I haven't been to the gym for almost 3 months now. Am I proud? No...but it just seems like time is more difficult to find, these days than ever before.

I think the best alternative for me is to go to a gym that's close to work (which for now means within walking distance!) What with the house and the in laws and evenings flying by at an ever increasing pace...it's going to be another few months before I get back to my routine.

Time for a new year resolution?

A new milestone...!

2007-11-21T09:10:00.000-05:00

This time last year I was packing and I find myself doing so again.
Last time I was going home to spend time with friends and family before I tied the knot. This year I'm packing to go to our home (I would have said my but I stopped myself...)!
Then again, last year I was handing back the keys to my apartment, where I spent the most of 2 years...and this year...I will stretch my hand out to receive a new set of keys to a place of our own.
I guess life does come full circle every once in a while :-)

November 21st will be a date that sticks in my mind for a long time to come.
This Thanksgiving is already special in terms of all the thanks we have to give!

Hope all you readers have a Happy Thanksgiving and a safe trip if you're traveling.

We shall be meeting soon...from a brand new location.
Sayonara...

First Diwali and all that jazz!

2007-11-11T16:13:00.000-05:00

After five years of being in this country we're all a little jaded but sometimes its the little things that make all the difference.
Diwali was finally fun, not dull and boring. Of course, we tried to recreate some holiday spirit even when we were students - but back then it was all about affordability and good food took over the need for lights and decorations.

Well this year no stone was unturned. Against all odds and mountains of work we managed to pull it off. To make it extra special was the fact that it was the first diwali after the wedding, thalai deepavali.
So we spring errr...fall cleaned! For the first time in 2 years the patio got a scrubbing and was dressed up with colorful lights. There were tea lights around the house (I like having lights in every room...so yes, there was a candel even in the bathroom!) and outside the house.
My rangoli was free-hand and amateurish because I couldn't quite find the time to do my elaborate designs (although they had been drawn).

We ushered in Diwali first on Thursday (south indian way) and then again on Friday (north indian way).

Friday night we had a few close friends over, ate a lavish meal and played some ceremonial taash (card games). Poker with pennies was the game of choice and I was blessed with beginners luck by having the largest pile of pennies when the play ended squarely at midnight.

Saturday night was a huge Diwali potluck hosted by another friend. Haven't seen so many Indians under one roof in a long long time. Sarees were the dress code of the day for the ladies and after 4 iterations among two sarees I finally managed!
Our friends even had sparklers which was great, great fun! The grand finale was a lovely fountain!

After a stressful week at work and on the home front, there was some fun atlast.

Now to face the coming weeks around thanksgiving is going to be yet another challenge. Hopefully we'll sail through it without any major surprises/shocks.
Have a pre-settlement walkthrough on the house...so all the loose ends are finally getting tied together!

More to come...until then Happy Diwali and a Prosperous New Year to all!

Pandemonium

2007-11-02T13:32:00.000-05:00

I got to hear this word several times over Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday this week and I find it's stuck in my head!

And I think the reason it's stuck is that I identify with the word completely, in fact you could say that one word describes my life these days perfectly :-p

Not as bad as it sounds on the contrary most things part of this pandemonium are quite exciting.

We're less than 3 weeks away from the date we await eagerly and anxiously. I can't wait to finally have all the space to organize my kitchen gadgetry and buy my most awaited piece of kitchen equipment. I have had my eyes on this baby (KitchenAid 12 cup Food Processor) for years and the time has finally come!!

Work is getting increasingly busy - part of the reason why I don't have much time or inclination to blog. Diwali is next week - looking forward to it. It's the one festival I really enjoy and adore. This year I will also indulge myself with a rangoli.

Through all the pandemonium - R has been fairly patient :-) I guess we all need some balance in life or like my mom says "method in the madness"!

A funny memory

2007-10-18T11:12:00.000-05:00

I don't know why I remembered this or my chain of thoughts...(my phone's not working well today, thats what triggered it I think)

Anyway, so back when R and I were not officially seeing each other and the phase that I considered purely platonic like many of my other friends who happened to be boys, we used to spend a lot of time talking on the phone.

So R would call me randomly from work just to prevent falling asleep (apparently I had a high entertainment value, actually...I still do :-P)
And then he would come back home from work and then call me again (I guess I should have seen it coming but like I said - I was slow enough to rate the whole thing platonic!)

So...one evening, we're talking...and I'm talkative (or used to be) and I'm going yakity yak...oblivious to the fact that the voice on the other side is dead silent (yea! That's how much I talked and how little R did...I had no clue the phone had disconnected). So I'm walking around, talking for a good 2 or 3 minutes...when the phone riiiingggss in my ear!

HUH!??! Hello?? And he says "sorry, I think we got disconnected...was waiting for you to call back?" It was hysterical...I was so annoyed that I didn't realize and kept talking to myself like an idiot! :-p

And it happened a few times again in the years after he moved to USA...and R always managed to get a hearty laugh at my expense :-p

LOL!!!!

Forrest Gump Suite...on a loop

2007-10-05T13:08:00.000-05:00

Forrest Gump is a movie I can never get tired of. Although some may call it melodramatic and a Disneys view of 20th century America, I find it an endearing story that's sweet, sad and almost magical at times.

The soundtrack is beautiful - while it's mostly a compilation of greatest hits from the 50s, 60s, 70's and 80's (32 tracks on two CDs), there's the original score on the CD as well. Not to mention Turn!Turn!Turn - a favorite with my mom as well. But she prefers watching the video and the beautiful scenes from the film associated with it.

The title track however, Forrest Gump Suite was composed by Alan Silvestri.
Alan Silvestri has also composed for other Robert Zemeckis ventures such as Cast Away, Back to the Future, Polar Express, to name a few.

I love this track for its nature, the way the melody builds and how it is capable of recreating images from the film in my mind. Great work with the Piano...it makes me want to go learn how to play one myself. Guess that's going down the list of "to-dos?"

Anyway, try listening to the track...it's beautiful, just like the film.

Have a good weekend...!

Notes to self...

2007-10-02T14:02:00.000-05:00

- Need to start reading books for fun/recreation -- deadline: 12/1
- Go to the gym TODAY!! You really had no excuse last night...save for The Family Stone
- Worry less...think more

No time to write

2007-09-19T10:12:00.000-05:00

Blogging has become a luxury these days. Ever since we got back from the trip to SFO it almost seems like there's no time to breathe. The work front has been busy. Taking a couple days off surely takes its toll on you when you have deadlines looming over.
I finally feel like I can take a breather till tomorrow (yes, I have been trying to log on from home after leaving the office around 5.15 - today I am glad I will have some peace!)

In a strange way I am glad we had a mini vacation because ahead lay days of a lot of work. Every night I think of the endless list of things we need to get done before the big move. The things we will need to get done as soon as we move, so on and so forth. It can be overwhelming at times when there are way too many good changes happening in your life within the Oh! so short span of a year. Quitting job - moving to India - getting married - moving back from India - finding new job - managing new home - buying a new home - dealing with a new work environment and climbing the learning curve...is there really room for more?

Oh well, cest la vie.

The SFO trip was enjoyable to say the least. Met the family and had a blast with the celebrity - "Jo" as we all lovingly call her :-)

One of our friends here is expecting a baby girl - so we're all quite thrilled of the prospects for our social lives. We'll all have a new attraction in the area!

Anyhoo, TV has become the big culprit for me not wanting to hit the gym. I'm just getting lazier by the day!!
But the new seasons have started and it's fun watching Heroes again.

I'm waiting for the real fall to begin in the area though, it almost seems like the heat will never abate.

Thats about it for now...nothing interesting going on!

Tripping

2007-09-12T11:00:00.001-05:00

I get restless before I have to make a journey or go on a vacation. I just can't wait for the travel part to be over with and the real fun to start!
This time around though...it's almost as if I'll have a working vacation.
It sucks that I have to attend a high profile phone call from the airport!
And it sucks even more that I have to attend a call while on vacation because my co worker will have to be under the knife on that same day and the meeting cannot wait until I return! (Don't worry...it's some small surgery...not like she's scheduled to get assaulted or anything!)
*sigh*
Just when you thought you had planned to take days off that are meant to be the quietest, when not much gets done and no one wants to hold meetings, you get thrown off track with a smack in your head! So much for planning!!
The icing on the cake though - I'm going to miss Lunch with a high profile senior mgr. Kinda like my boss's boss's boss's boss's boss!
And although I would like to think I'll be having a better time vacationing - that's the day I will be flying back :-(
Double bummer...sad for vacation to end, sad for missing an event!

Anyway, the purpose of this post is to get it out of my system so I'm not bogged down by trivialities and I'm gung-ho about my upcoming trip!! :-D yayyyy!!!

Mishap

2007-09-11T14:18:00.001-05:00

My sister's car was broken into this morning, while she was toiling away at the gym.
She has unfortunately lost a window in her car, wallet and most of her important pieces of identity!
Thankfully, she was not in the car when the robbery happened (must have been a petty gutless thief)
Mom tells me she was quite shaken (it didn't sound too bad to me...but then I didn't get to talk to her much) and I hope the lesson has been learned and things will not remain in the car anymore.

Jaan bachi to laakhon paaye...

I think I have learned a big lesson too...I won't keep my important ids in my wallet from now on. You never know who's lurking around trying to fish in your belongings!

Cristina says Yes

2007-09-08T07:33:00.000-05:00

Since the advent of TV in our house, I have started watching Grey's Anatomy. While I don't care about the show too much, I am one of those that likes most Medical based shows (Scrubs included)

To cut a long story short, I'm watching re-runs of Season 3 and episode 14 was aired recently...and I almost fell off my couch laughing at the scene where Cristina, said yes! And how!!!
It's one of the best romantic scenes that I have scene on TV.

Here's the synopsis:
TR had proposed to Cristina and she doesn't wear the ring. (A 3 carat whopper at that!) He keeps asking her about it to no avail.
She has a chat with Meredith's mother (she's just confused about her career and marriage etc. and Meredith's mother is lucid for a while and she seems to be reading Cristina's mind)

Anyway...later on in the show, Cristina is laying in bed while TR is eating his takeout dinner. She goes upto him keeps the ring on the table and says:

C: "I don't do rings. You shouldn't expect to change someone, I'm a surgeon, just like you. When we have the money, you can hire a wife" (All this with a poker face)
TR: Contemplative, "Are you saying yes?"
C: "Yeah" (Matter of factly)
TR: "I'm still not letting you scrub in tomorrow"
C: "Well I'm not wearing that ring"
TR: "OK"
C: "OK then"
TR: "Yesssssss!!!!"
Squeals of laughter and hugs follow!!

I was totally ROFL when she said they could hire a wife!!! That's a smart smart idea!

Here's the video...awesome!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZSA6mNWbShQ

aaya maakhan chor

2007-09-05T08:22:00.000-05:00

I am not religious per se...but there are some festivals I look forward to. And I think I have mentioned in earlier posts that I even have favorite Gods so to speak!

Krishna happens to be one of them - maybe because he appealed to the child in me! The mischevious player, the charming and charismatic God has always intrigued me.

And Janmashtami has always been one of my favorite festivals. I wish they had some dahi handi competition here as well :-(
We did make it to the temple last night, dressed in our Indian finery (these days I look for excuses to wear the dozen + sarees I purchased for the wedding) after getting home from work.
It was good to see so many Indians all around. There were some bhajan's in the background and the little makhan chor had been put in a cradle for everyone to rock.

It felt good to be there, to relive some memories of home, of the Hare Rama Hare Krishna temple in Juhu and the most delicious Sooji ka halwa in the world. My replica was nowhere as good as the original, maybe a little more Ghee would have done the trick :)

OH well...'tis the season of Indian festivals. One after the other they come in a row! (Which means more opportunities to wear my pretty sarees :-p) That's what most festivals are all about though - dressing well, eating goodies and having a good time!
With Janmashtami, the festivities have officially begun!

Back to work now...

Yum

2007-08-29T11:38:00.000-05:00

I often seem to beat my own drum about cooking and the husband raving about it!
Today I can actually Rave :-) about the spinach I'm eating for lunch!!
It's zesty, melt in the mouth, tangy from the tomato and smoky from the cumin R added to it and simply stated it's Delicious!!

To many more such meals R...! :-)

Better late than never - 2

2007-08-28T08:09:00.000-05:00

I mentioned that the DVD for Shah Rukh Khan's latest, Chak De was sitting at home.

We decided to watch it last night - we said we'll watch about half and then we can finish it tomorrow.

And continuing with yesterdays patriotic theme, I can say that Chak De drove me to tears more than once. When they showed a 'white' man hoisting the Indian Flag, when the girls lost against the boys and without giving away the movie I will say it had many poignant moments. As it turns out, we finished the movie last night in one sitting still in time for bed!

I must say SRK has some redeeming qualities about himself and mind you this film was not about him. It was about a neglected sport and the lack of team spirit in the Indian sports scene. It was funny in parts, frustrating to an extent (when the girls couldn't understand what the Australian referee was saying) and exhilerating for the most part. Also I think the stubble really worked for him. For a change there was a normal man doing his job with some grey added into the 6 day old daadhi and not some swanky super star throwing his weight around coaching a hockey team of girls wearing Versace suits!

It was not contrived like most of the other Yash Raj products. It was an honest attempt to showcase what every sport other than cricket has to endure to make it onto the global scene - especially, when there are women rather than men playing. And although it did remind me of Lagaan at times it did very well without the usual hysteric chest beating we so often get to see in other patriotic films. This movie not only captured sports and women in society, it also tackled the issue of minorities and their struggles. All of that without losing vision of the film and going too far off track.

Every character in the team was so very well defined and so very true (it's amazing that a bunch of non-actors could do such a great job) and it seemed like they all had a hidden passion lurking beneath their skin.
And every team has the Star, the timid, the bindaas, the ferocious, the insecure, the bitchy and the bitchy's followers! All of us, sports persons or not have come across such situations on and off the field!

What a refreshing change!! Great job Mr. Amin!
Chak De! Shah Rukh...you've redeemed yourself in my eyes from the debacle that was KANK and the associated ridiculous portrayal of being yet another loser in that film!

Last August it was RDB that got me going ding ding ding ding ding, this year it's "Chakk De, Chakk De Indiaaaaa!"

Better late than never...

2007-08-27T10:05:00.000-05:00

August 15th was not so big this year. It came and went just like any other day. No boys running around selling paper flags, no loudspeakers blaring patriotic music, no flag hoisting...
Actually I don't remember the last time I attended a flag hoisting ceremony.
There was one around where I live, but like most other festivals and events, it was over a weekend and not actually on the 15th.

I feel like the essence is lost if the date is not observed - what good would Christmas be if it was not celebrated on the 25th but some other day for convenience.

Anyway, I know I sound cynical (and I am) but I'm deeply patriotic and am driven to tears at times when watching anything remotely patriotic. I have the DVD of Chak De India sitting in my living room...and the Green and Saffron colors on it reminded me that we're so far removed from our country.

I filed for citizenship, without flinching or even thinking twice, it seemed like the logical thing to do. To secure myself in this country. I don't know how I'll deal with it once it actually comes to an end. Is it going to be easy to let go of my roots? To bear allegiance to a country that has become my home?

My ma often asks me if I miss India - and I don't need to think to answer that question and she often exclaims "You can take an Indian out of India, but you can't take India out of an Indian!"

It's so true - we all try to recreate mini Indias wherever we go. In our homes, in our food, in our culture, she thrives in our being. And although we may not pay our due respect, she never lets us down.

We were watching the US Open yesterday afternoon, and I found out that Sanya Mirza was 26 seed and I will admit that I felt proud! I often believe that we are the face of India in all our fields and it is upto us to put forward a healthy and beautiful image to our peers. We've all faced discrimination in some form or the other and we have all detested it when people make statements that bring shame to our origins.

Often there are times when I feel the urge to go back to my own country, I often wonder what I am doing here and why I am here - but running the rats race casts a shadow over such thoughts and need for answers, instead I am faced with the immediate challenges in my mundane life. Work, laundry, dishes, organization, money, house and husband.

There is this one song though, on a lighter note, that makes me want to speed, that makes me want to go back to where I came from, that makes me want to do something for my country...

ding ding ding ding ding ding ding
ding ding ding ding ding
...aur mohe tu rang de basanti yaara mohe tu rang de basanti...

To sixty more years of progress, to centuries of pride!

Did you read my mind?

2007-08-16T19:35:00.000-05:00

Not that the world needs to know what's cooking in the kitchen - but here's what transpired:

He: I am ok with Pulao, Aloo Parathas or Poha for dinner...
She: Frowns deeply at the thought of poha -- thats breakfast not dinner!
He: I'm off to play - see you!
She: hmm...there's boiled potatoes, fresh bell peppers and tomatoes...hmmm...
An hour or so later...
She: Voicemail - "Hey...just wanted to tell you to get bread on the way back - I'm making pbj"
45 mins later...
He: Hey, what's up?
She: Nothing much-- I made Pav Bhaji -- get some white bread.
He: WOW! Did you read my mind?
She: I don't know...you tell me...
He: Yesss you diiiid!

:-) :-)

I guess it's love when things like that happen- don't you ??